I brought my pointe shoes home and fell in love. My mom came over so I could show them off to her. I jump up onto pointe (no clue about rolling up to pointe yet) and- to both of our surprise, I tiptoe my way around my living room, even managing to turn a time or two. I stepped back down and looked at my mom- her eyes were huge! "HOW are you DOING that?" The shoes! They're magic!
As I mentioned in my first post, I'd started researching ballet more and more. I was becoming intrigued more and more. I found an adult class in my area. It's $60 a month for the one class (very reduced prices for more than an hour a week), which is pretty good, I reckon, certainly something I'm willing to pay... just not right now.
Earlier this year I was hospitalized for severe depression and anxiety, with a plan to commit suicide. The depression and anxiety are something I have dealt with for as long as I can remember, and everything just seemed to culminate into one big bomb this year that finally went off. Five months ago I didn't expect to be alive right now. I was wary of doing 28+ days of inpatient, but promised my mom- who I'd told I didn't think I was going to be alive much longer- that I would try EVERYTHING I possibly could before I did anything. I did everything I was supposed to do in the hospital, went to all my groups AND started taking the medications I was prescribed as I was supposed to. My doctor was absolutely amazing and managed to find the perfect combination of meds for me (something that can be really hit-or-miss, so I feel blessed). Between the time off to take care of my mental health, the establishment of some sort of routine in my life, and the medication, I have become a completely different person. I still have anxiety, but it's not as bad now. My depression, however, is pretty much GONE. And that's part of where this new interest in ballet is coming from: I am getting to know myself as a different, healthier, happier person- and I want this to extend to my body and mind as well.
The point of that was that I am still playing financial catch-up from the work I missed and the bills I got behind on. I am also working fewer hours than I was before, and it's hard for me to commit to a $60 month bill right now. Besides that, it seems like ballet has seasons like schools do, and it's the middle of the season, so I would feel odd starting now anyway.
But I found a number of resources for beginner's ballet and have decided to teach myself... up to a point. I know that it is very easy to learn things incorrectly (that I'd have to retrain myself out of), so I am taking precautions against that. A background in yoga has helped me be body-conscious and more able to look at someone doing something and compare myself in the mirror to see if I am doing the same thing. I watch different instructors go over things to see if any do things differently and also because some will point out helpful tips that others don't bring up.
I have a ton of videos saved, but right now I am using the awesome classes Tamra Chace has on YouTube, starting with "Year One, Lesson One":
It's very basic- I'm doing one class each week and am only up to the second week right now. So far, we have done very little port de bras and most of it has been without using our legs at the same time. I'm definitely lagging in the port de bras department right now (and am still looking for a decent video that shows what the heck my fingers are supposed to do when I'm moving my arms!) but I am definitely learning how to tendu and battement tendu and do slow ronde de jambe.
So right now I am definitely more concerned with technique than anything else, besides strength. I'd rather start a real ballet class with more strength so I can progress more quickly, and what I am doing at home is helping me learn where exactly I should focus building strength- and it's also giving me the motivation to go through with it. I have never been someone who enjoys working out nor have I ever made the commitment to stick with something like this, but I'm working on changing that.
The night I started Tamra Chace's lessons, I realized how much strength I was going to need to build up- holding a leg up in the air is so much harder than it looks! So I've started doing thigh, calf, foot-and-toe exercises along with lots of follow-along stretching! Ballerina Lisa Maree has a TON of fantastic videos on stretching and getting in shape. This was the first one I started with:
I simply could NOT figure out how she was doing that exercise known as "doming"- I couldn't make my foot do anything remotely close to that. One evening, I sat down and started trying to make my foot dome by using my hand next to it so my foot could follow along with my hand (something recommended in a video by someone else). That wasn't working too well, so I watched my foot and just tried to move different muscles. I finally noticed the activity in my arch when I point my foot, and was actually able to isolate that muscle! It took a little more time with the left foot, but I soon got that one isolated as well! That was days ago, and I am still so psyched about it! In just those few days, I've gotten my "dome" a lot more curved- it's SO exciting! (And I did it myself!)
I've also struggled with turn-out... something I've learned that a LOT of people struggle with in ballet! I watched all of the videos I could find, lying on my side putting one bent leg on a pillow and bringing the other leg up, doing the butterfly, sitting with my feet touching and legs in a diamond while pressing at the tops of my legs- nothing was really helping me. Then I came across a simple stretching video (that I can't find at the moment). A young woman was showing how she stretches her hips by placing one foot on a chair and then rolling her body around so the standing leg's hip rotates around in it's socket. Why not, I gave it a shot. I put a leg up on a chair and started rotating my body. I closed my eyes and really FELT what was going on in my hips. And suddenly, I found those deep, inner hip muscles that are supposed to be used for turnout. I knew I wasn't finding them correctly before, so I'd just put my feet in a small V shape for first position, not even trying to turnout for fear of doing it incorrectly. But now- I was able to feel the muscles I was supposed to be using and could now use the muscle memory to make sure I was doing it correctly at the barre (yes, the barre- the one I built in my living room! More on that later!) When I was done with the first leg, I went to the next and learned where those muscles were and how to access them.
As you can imagine, that was a big deal for me. Sometimes I try to overdo it, but I can tell when I am doing this: the arches of my feet turn inward and my knees don't go directly over my feet. But I'm about 99.999% sure I have accessed them correctly, because when I do use them properly, my feet don't turn inwards and my knees are over my toes when I plié. I also know I am overdoing it when my glutes are crunched together or I can't plié without arching my back awkwardly. So yeah, I'm pretty sure I'm doing okay with that, though I know I really need a ballet instructor to tell me for sure. I'll stick with what I'm doing for now.
The main thing, along with flexibility, is STRENGTH. I'm pretty lucky in that I naturally have something close to a "ballet body". I'm not very tall (though not overly short) and I'm naturally skinny: 5'3" with weight fluctuating between 115-119lbs. The only part that doesn't really fit is my chest size (34D). Luckily, the leotards I have purchased flatten me down quite a bit. And... well... they're actually implants, so if I ever magically become a prima ballerina, I'll take those babies out! :) I was concerned with them until I started seeing all of the different body types who take ballet- and some of them, like the Remedial Ballerina, even PERFORM! Between being in my mid-30s, not being very flexible, not being very strong, never having taken a ballet class (except that one time when I was six and took it at day care... only to come running out crying to my mom when she came to pick me up, telling her I didn't want to take it anymore because... I got sweaty. Yep.), and having fuller breasts, I thought this might be a hobby I do here and there. But now that I know I can have the chance to PERFORM... it's ON now! (I'm very introverted and socially awkward and shy, but put me in a spotlight where I know what I'm doing and I become a different person!)
So that's where I am right now: working my way through Tamra Chace's beginner ballet classes, supplementing her classes with more in-depth videos on tendus, pliés, etc, doing strength training focusing on my lower body and core, and working on my flexibility by stretching a lot. Right now, I've been doing about 1-3 hours of all of this daily for about a week and a half (missing Monday and Tuesday of this week because I wasn't feeling well and came home and crashed until morning) and my goal is to keep that at 2-3 hours daily (sometimes changing out the workouts for hiking with my dog).
I've still got more to share with you, but it's time to get in a little reading before I hit the barre!
As I mentioned in my first post, I'd started researching ballet more and more. I was becoming intrigued more and more. I found an adult class in my area. It's $60 a month for the one class (very reduced prices for more than an hour a week), which is pretty good, I reckon, certainly something I'm willing to pay... just not right now.
Earlier this year I was hospitalized for severe depression and anxiety, with a plan to commit suicide. The depression and anxiety are something I have dealt with for as long as I can remember, and everything just seemed to culminate into one big bomb this year that finally went off. Five months ago I didn't expect to be alive right now. I was wary of doing 28+ days of inpatient, but promised my mom- who I'd told I didn't think I was going to be alive much longer- that I would try EVERYTHING I possibly could before I did anything. I did everything I was supposed to do in the hospital, went to all my groups AND started taking the medications I was prescribed as I was supposed to. My doctor was absolutely amazing and managed to find the perfect combination of meds for me (something that can be really hit-or-miss, so I feel blessed). Between the time off to take care of my mental health, the establishment of some sort of routine in my life, and the medication, I have become a completely different person. I still have anxiety, but it's not as bad now. My depression, however, is pretty much GONE. And that's part of where this new interest in ballet is coming from: I am getting to know myself as a different, healthier, happier person- and I want this to extend to my body and mind as well.
The point of that was that I am still playing financial catch-up from the work I missed and the bills I got behind on. I am also working fewer hours than I was before, and it's hard for me to commit to a $60 month bill right now. Besides that, it seems like ballet has seasons like schools do, and it's the middle of the season, so I would feel odd starting now anyway.
But I found a number of resources for beginner's ballet and have decided to teach myself... up to a point. I know that it is very easy to learn things incorrectly (that I'd have to retrain myself out of), so I am taking precautions against that. A background in yoga has helped me be body-conscious and more able to look at someone doing something and compare myself in the mirror to see if I am doing the same thing. I watch different instructors go over things to see if any do things differently and also because some will point out helpful tips that others don't bring up.
I have a ton of videos saved, but right now I am using the awesome classes Tamra Chace has on YouTube, starting with "Year One, Lesson One":
It's very basic- I'm doing one class each week and am only up to the second week right now. So far, we have done very little port de bras and most of it has been without using our legs at the same time. I'm definitely lagging in the port de bras department right now (and am still looking for a decent video that shows what the heck my fingers are supposed to do when I'm moving my arms!) but I am definitely learning how to tendu and battement tendu and do slow ronde de jambe.
So right now I am definitely more concerned with technique than anything else, besides strength. I'd rather start a real ballet class with more strength so I can progress more quickly, and what I am doing at home is helping me learn where exactly I should focus building strength- and it's also giving me the motivation to go through with it. I have never been someone who enjoys working out nor have I ever made the commitment to stick with something like this, but I'm working on changing that.
The night I started Tamra Chace's lessons, I realized how much strength I was going to need to build up- holding a leg up in the air is so much harder than it looks! So I've started doing thigh, calf, foot-and-toe exercises along with lots of follow-along stretching! Ballerina Lisa Maree has a TON of fantastic videos on stretching and getting in shape. This was the first one I started with:
I simply could NOT figure out how she was doing that exercise known as "doming"- I couldn't make my foot do anything remotely close to that. One evening, I sat down and started trying to make my foot dome by using my hand next to it so my foot could follow along with my hand (something recommended in a video by someone else). That wasn't working too well, so I watched my foot and just tried to move different muscles. I finally noticed the activity in my arch when I point my foot, and was actually able to isolate that muscle! It took a little more time with the left foot, but I soon got that one isolated as well! That was days ago, and I am still so psyched about it! In just those few days, I've gotten my "dome" a lot more curved- it's SO exciting! (And I did it myself!)
I've also struggled with turn-out... something I've learned that a LOT of people struggle with in ballet! I watched all of the videos I could find, lying on my side putting one bent leg on a pillow and bringing the other leg up, doing the butterfly, sitting with my feet touching and legs in a diamond while pressing at the tops of my legs- nothing was really helping me. Then I came across a simple stretching video (that I can't find at the moment). A young woman was showing how she stretches her hips by placing one foot on a chair and then rolling her body around so the standing leg's hip rotates around in it's socket. Why not, I gave it a shot. I put a leg up on a chair and started rotating my body. I closed my eyes and really FELT what was going on in my hips. And suddenly, I found those deep, inner hip muscles that are supposed to be used for turnout. I knew I wasn't finding them correctly before, so I'd just put my feet in a small V shape for first position, not even trying to turnout for fear of doing it incorrectly. But now- I was able to feel the muscles I was supposed to be using and could now use the muscle memory to make sure I was doing it correctly at the barre (yes, the barre- the one I built in my living room! More on that later!) When I was done with the first leg, I went to the next and learned where those muscles were and how to access them.
As you can imagine, that was a big deal for me. Sometimes I try to overdo it, but I can tell when I am doing this: the arches of my feet turn inward and my knees don't go directly over my feet. But I'm about 99.999% sure I have accessed them correctly, because when I do use them properly, my feet don't turn inwards and my knees are over my toes when I plié. I also know I am overdoing it when my glutes are crunched together or I can't plié without arching my back awkwardly. So yeah, I'm pretty sure I'm doing okay with that, though I know I really need a ballet instructor to tell me for sure. I'll stick with what I'm doing for now.
The main thing, along with flexibility, is STRENGTH. I'm pretty lucky in that I naturally have something close to a "ballet body". I'm not very tall (though not overly short) and I'm naturally skinny: 5'3" with weight fluctuating between 115-119lbs. The only part that doesn't really fit is my chest size (34D). Luckily, the leotards I have purchased flatten me down quite a bit. And... well... they're actually implants, so if I ever magically become a prima ballerina, I'll take those babies out! :) I was concerned with them until I started seeing all of the different body types who take ballet- and some of them, like the Remedial Ballerina, even PERFORM! Between being in my mid-30s, not being very flexible, not being very strong, never having taken a ballet class (except that one time when I was six and took it at day care... only to come running out crying to my mom when she came to pick me up, telling her I didn't want to take it anymore because... I got sweaty. Yep.), and having fuller breasts, I thought this might be a hobby I do here and there. But now that I know I can have the chance to PERFORM... it's ON now! (I'm very introverted and socially awkward and shy, but put me in a spotlight where I know what I'm doing and I become a different person!)
So that's where I am right now: working my way through Tamra Chace's beginner ballet classes, supplementing her classes with more in-depth videos on tendus, pliés, etc, doing strength training focusing on my lower body and core, and working on my flexibility by stretching a lot. Right now, I've been doing about 1-3 hours of all of this daily for about a week and a half (missing Monday and Tuesday of this week because I wasn't feeling well and came home and crashed until morning) and my goal is to keep that at 2-3 hours daily (sometimes changing out the workouts for hiking with my dog).
I've still got more to share with you, but it's time to get in a little reading before I hit the barre!
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