Skipping (part of) a grade...

I AM SO STOKED! Here's what happened recently:

I've been going to class pretty consistently, and was really liking the second level I've been in. I pretty much knew what was going on and was able to really focus on technique, as it's the class that I originally took before (starting, again, in the middle of the year). The class was super full, though. I never went on an evening when everyone was there, but if I had, I would not have been able to drop-in.

So, the administration lady speaks to me about moving to the next level. Honestly, I felt a bit pressured to do so. I chose to take the level I was taking for a reason. I couldn't commit to the next level at the beginning of the year, and I felt starting halfway through, I'd just be totally lost. But she was really encouraging me to, as the level I'm in has far fewer students.

I just couldn't do it Tuesday. It took hours for me to get up the nerve to get dressed and go to school. Even with my anxiety, I was extremely tense and nervous. I did NOT want to be way behind everyone else. So I speak with the instructor, and she doesn't mind if I take the class, but she reiterates that she is not going to hold up the class just for me. Sure, I totally understand that, but the second time she said it, I felt a little challenged... which was good.

I went in there and nailed it! Okay, my form wasn't anywhere near good, and my pas de bourres, echappes, and assembles were a mess. I had no clue what they were doing with the pirouette business... I was taught how to (technically, if not in reality) do one in a class in a different school, but that was the whole deal. This method breaks things down into quarter turns- which makes sense, but wasn't what I expected.

Oh, and to top it off! Before class started, and I'd made it inside the studio with the other students, I confessed I was terrified and they were all going to be so far ahead of me. Keep in mind these kids are about ten years old. They were so sweet! They encouraged me to follow them, helped me out with one of the across-the-floor moves we were doing, and everyone told me afterwards what a great job I had done!

The best part of this, though, is that I totally faced my fear and conquered it. I did so much better than I expected. In the other class, and I realized this, I wasn't really pushing myself. I'd done it before. But with this one, I'm really going to need to work hard to catch up. It's not going to take long to finish memorizing the barre work, since most of it is what we'd ended with before. But the center "jumps"- the ones I've been procrastinating on- I'm going to really need to start tackling those in my gym/barre-room time.

Speaking of the gym, I'm very happy and proud to say I've started going back this week! Arms one day, legs another- the latter followed by some ballet, until my legs just gave out on me.

Things are going pretty sweet here on my end! I really needed to take this class, to inspire me to push myself. If I'm not challenged, I usually can't put my heart & soul into it.

One last thing that, of course, I have to mention. Moving up a grade puts me one year closer to earning my pointe shoes! I'm having trouble understanding the levels listed on the website, but I think I will start one year from this Fall. OMGOMGOMG!

Saved by

Juanita De Los Santos

 Via Pinterest

Photos for more inspiration!

Southeastern Regional Ballet Association - Photo by Richard Calmes http://www.pbase.com/rcalmes. Via Pinterest.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Elevé Dancewear (@elevedancewear) on Instagram: “Looking forward to this week • Photo by @darianvolkova Model @ionovaworld Via Pinterest.

<< "La danse n'a plus rien à raconter : elle a beaucoup à dire" ... © Maurice Béjart>> Via Pinterest.

And because you know I'm obsessed with ballet feet...

Saved by

Bruna Santana Via Pinterest

Eric Conrad

I don't know how I'm only just now coming across this, with all the YouTube ballet watching I do*, but wow! I'm actually in the middle of knitting (a cowl for Dexter), but I had to hop on here and make a quick post, for I am watching Eric Conrad's YouTube video, Ballet Conrad #52: Port de Bras Back. Casually watching the beginning, I felt kind of bad for the female in the video, LOL. He was allowing for NO mistakes- tough, but definitely something I can respect.

I fast-forwarded to around the 12:00 mark, where he has the same female doing a port de bras back. He reminds her to come from the upper ribs, not the lower back. I was sitting in bed and decided to give it a shot- and my whole upper back popped like it never has before! It felt great.

Obviously, popping one's back is not a goal of anything, but so far, I LIKE his take on things. I'm only a few minutes in, and I have heard that he totally believes (from my understanding) everything from turnout to arabesques to splits and so on has little to do with flexibility, but with strength. I like that a lot.

If you do a search for "Ballet Conrad", some other interesting titles come up: The Frog is the Antithesis of Turnout, Very Detailed Placement Demonstration: Tendu, Vaganova Academy's New Turn-Out Method, and 20th Century Stars Wouldn't Be Accepted by Today's Vaganova Academy.

I think I've got some interesting videos to watch and listen to! Hope you get something useful from them! Now back to my knitting/watching YouTube!

Edit: I've glanced at a few links with Conrad's name in it, and it seems his teachings may be a bit controversial. I like reading such things, but I make sure to not get totally caught up in the hype, and to take a modest approach to learning.

Easy Flexibility

I’ve probably posted about this in the past, but I am still intrigued by the Easy Flexibility program. Even trying out a few of the exercises I can glean from the trailers feel really good, effective, and are different from anything else I’ve seen anywhere. What the instructor says about pliability vs. flexibility makes sense, too. (AND there is a course on relieving anterior pelvic tilt.)

One thing I’ve noticed when trying splits: they scare me and I am afraid of them. I’ve never been able to do them, and my body and mind actually fear getting too close to the ground. I forget the term for it, but it’s some sort of reflex. When I am in a splits position, the muscles I want most to be flexible are the very ones contracting and restricting me from doing it. I don’t know if that’s the totality of it, but I do know that sometimes my mind is able to just let go of a little bit of fear, and incredibly, I am immediately able to go deeper into my split.

I’m not saying my body absolutely can do any sort of split- I don’t know. I hope so. I’ve gotten kinda close. But I am saying that the more I am able to relax, the stretchier I become. Props help with this, too. If I can lower myself to a yoga block and make absolutely sure it’s steady, that frees up some upper body strength, allowing me to focus a little more.

I hope my last post didn’t come across as whiny or as my trying to be a know-it-all. I absolutely know that I can’t tell anything at all about a person and their ballet experience, including amount and time of training, based on a photo or even ten. It’s more about finding it within my own self to stop comparing myself to others, stop comparing my practice to others, and to focus on and ENJOY what I DO, what I have learned, and all the fun stuff I have to look forward to. No one is making me dance. I do it solely because I want to. Comparing myself to others takes the fun out of it.

Slow vs. Fast Progress

I see these other adult ballet dancers online... some of them haven’t been taking ballet a full year, and already they are on pointe. I have mixed feelings about this- and yes, part of it is a little bit of envy! 

In my school, I’m one of the only, if not THE only, adult students (besides, of course, the 18-year olds who have been practicing for years). My school goes by grades. I’m currently in the 2nd grade (although I could have started the fall in 3rd, but I couldn’t commit twice a week right then). There’s grade 3, then an advanced grade 3, and then pointe begins sometime in grade 4. I don’t even know what the advanced grade 3 means, but I’m thinking it’s an extra year before 4. From my understanding then, I have 2 more (full) years before I can go on pointe. (And I’ve been at this ballet thing for a few years already, just not consecutively or regularly, so I can’t count it much.)

So that’s the frustrating part: I want to EARN those Capezio Contemporas I managed to get myself fitted for back when I first became obsessed with ballet! (LOL! Please don’t tell my teacher!) I want them NOW!

On the other hand, I’ve now taken classes at three other studios, and I love mine the best. I love the strict focus on doing the same barre every class, and somewhat the same center work. I love that once I can get the hang of the barre exercises again, I can let myself start moving freely into the movements, letting it flow instead of always trying (so far quite unsuccessfully) to just remember what the heck my feet and legs are supposed to be doing next- not to mention my arms that would inevitably get stuck in first or second so I could just try to get through this set of exercises. I love that I have so much time to learn technique, to practice a few moves over and over and over, almost meditatively, instead of the constant confusion of thinking about the future, what comes next, allowing myself to feel each smallest movement of my feet, toes, body.

Of course I’m aware of the fact that I have NO CLUE what kind of progression the ladies who have moved fast have made, or how much time and effort they have put into their own practice (although I do cringe when I see someone on pointe in a classroom, and their lower body looks just like mine when I try on my beloved Capezios for a few minutes a month- from my knee to my toe is barely even a straight line, and as tall as I may try to stand, my knees just won’t straighten... and their teacher is encouraging this? But again, what do I know?)

So I guess in summary, I need to stop comparing myself to others! I don’t know their situation, and right now, I’m actually very happy with mine (well, I will be as soon as the second week of January comes around!). I have a LOT of work to do. My barrework is starting to flow pretty naturally, which is very exciting (even though, as you can see below, my flexibility still has a long way to go!). But even at the gym, I’ve been putting off a lot of centerwork. How I dread sautes and echappes and anything else that requires a fast upward motion of my body with my overly heavy elephant feet leaving the ground! I’m not too worried- that will change when I’m in front of a decent mirrored wall, being told I need to get my feet off the ground- that will be plenty of encouragement to work on those! 

I just couldn't stay away...

...Ballet is now in my heart!

Hello, lovelies! It's been over two years since my last post. Life happened, and ballet classes became difficult, but it hasn't left my heart!

I made a move in December 2015, and while there was a ballet class option for me as an adult, it was about a 45 minute drive one-way- a tough prospect even without the inevitable depression swings! I did make it to two or three classes. They were so much different from the classes I've normally taken. There was a lot more work on different combinations, but a lot less work on proper technique. It was definitely a lot of fun- it felt far more "dance-y" than usual, but I didn't really like that I had to focus so much on remembering what I was supposed to be doing that I couldn't work on form. I did, however, learn how to do a pirouette... technically, anyway! ☺

Fast forward to summer of 2017 and we come to my being back in my hometown. I hadn't been here long before it was time to register for fall classes at my favorite school, and circumstances were that I just couldn't yet make the commitment to attend class twice a week, so I didn't enroll. What I did do was get myself a gym membership, and I'm proud to say I've been pretty regular at going to the gym! Even better: my gym offers a Barre class (yuck, I tried it)... which means... they have BARRES in the studio, attached to the walls! Guess who has added some very basic ballet to her gym routine?

Now, I don't know if they changed their website, or if I somehow missed it (more likely), but I was drooling over the school's website one day, and I happen across this statement:

Adult students who are unable to attend on a regular basis may pay for individual classes.

Say whatttt??!! I could have been taking classes all that time without worrying about whether or not I missed occasionally?

So, of course, I made it to the next available class! I'd be too behind in the grade I've graduated to, so I took the class in the same grade I'd taken two years ago. I spoke with one of the administration and paid my drop-in rate. My class was going to be in a different studio, with a different instructor. Said instructor was surprised to see an adult in her class- "You spoke to admin? And they said it was okay? Well, okay...."

I also had to deal with my young classmates (8-9 years old or so) being surprised at having such an old lady (haha) taking a class with them. That part is weird for the first class or three- it's like they're either in awe of me, or terrified of me, or both! I've forgotten a lot of the steps, but I had a general idea of what I was doing. I found some of the little girls were sort of looking to me to follow, while I was looking towards another little girl to follow! I always try to be a really good student, because I'm really grateful to be able to take classes there even though I'm the only adult in the class, and one of the only ones in the school. I count out the steps or call out the movements the way we are supposed to when I remember, even though it's sometimes just me and the teacher doing so.

The huge highlight of my first class: one of my classmates asked me where I did ballet at. I told her I just took classes at the school. Her eyes grew big and she replied, "wow! you're really good!" That was awesome :)

Anyway, at the end of that class, they handed out the schedule to the Nutcracker rehearsals and such. I don't even know if I CAN be in the Nutcracker, and even if so, it wouldn't be this year, so I am waiting until the holidays are over, and starting classes again in January! I'm SO excited!

In other news, I'm tending to an injury of some sort, so I haven't even been to the gym in a week or so. I thought it was my hamstring, but it's flaring up to my rear end, so I'm pretty sure it's my sciatic nerve. I'm taking it really easy, babying it, icing it, and I tried compression when I thought it was just my hamstring. It doesn't seem to be getting better, though, and I don't know what to do :( I read to try and stretch out a sciatic nerve flare up, so I am going to try that again, but it didn't seem to help around the time I tried compression. I have a doctor appointment later this month, so if it's not feeling better by then, I will ask for help. I so badly want this to be healed by the time class starts back up!

Last thing: OMG, Instagram! All of these wonderful beginner (and more advanced) adult ballet students posting! Honestly, it's what inspired me to start writing in this blog again. the.pointer.sisters are currently my favorite ballet students to follow- more advanced than I which is so inspiring, and they always look like they are having such fun! Anyway, I haven't posted anything yet, but I plan on doing so soon, so please follow me @luvballetluv!

Actual last thing: I was very surprised to come back to see that I had a comment on my post about MDM ballet shoes- it meant someone's read this blog! At the time I read the comment, I couldn't find a US retailer of the shoes, but since then, it looks like they are once again available in the USA. I tried using them recently at the gym, which worked a couple of times, but the floor is really dirty there sometimes. I still really love the shoe, and feel like I get more of a foot workout with them than with normal full-sole shoes, so I may invest in a pair just for practice. (Currently using Bloch 205L, which are increasingly difficult to find.)

Ending with some beautiful photos:

Towards a Better Tendu...

Yes, I'm back in class! I'm still struggling to get the medication I need that helps me stay awake (insurance doesn't want to approve it without another doctor's signature), but my doc did give me some samples, so I've made it to three evenings of two one-hour classes, and I'm loving it! Surprisingly wasn't super sore last week, and not much this week, but fatigue and tiredness are settling in this week, even with my meds.

I don't have much time for a longer post, but I just read something that's really giving me something to think about and to work on: a proper tendu. Specifically:

Also, when doing class, think of shaping your feet when you pointe and as you pointe, so that they are pointed in the same way as when you are in sur le cou-de-pied wrapped position, ankles fully articulated, heels forward, toes back etc.  -(source)

I've been doing it quite incorrectly! I do have some trouble getting my foot totally into sur le cou-de-pied- my ankles seem to be pretty flexible but not in THAT way! But now it makes sense some of the foot positions I've seen that look pretty, but awkward! Like the tendus but where the heel is pointed up so that the ankle is angled.

Photos for inspiration:

Vaganova student- you can also see it here, where the foot is angled a bit differently

This one doesn't show that, but still looks amazing!

Nice Beginner Class

Just came across this one. Definitely more advanced than my class, but absolutely doable for me. The instructor goes step by step through everything and the class then goes through it. Once I start back, this is going to be just the right balance between being too easy and too difficult for me.

My Ballet Life Update: Back to Class Soon!

So I've taken quite a break from ballet, which has been very discouraging for me. I've had a lot going on- most notably the continuing lack of energy I mentioned before. My doctor has me trying a new medication to help me stay awake; I'm still figuring out the best way to take the dosage I was given over the day (as a full dose once a day was too much for me, and anything else wears off quickly- but some combo of smaller doses throughout the day seems to be going well).

Unfortunately, I eventually gave up my exercising/ballet movements, simply because there wasn't enough time for me to do that with all the sleeping combined with a couple of other things I've been doing a bit obsessively in the little time I'm awake (reading YA dystopian fiction and sewing!). I believe I've also mentioned before that I have a tendency to be really motivated about an activity, only to lose motivation and interest for awhile (though my interest usually picks back up at some point- almost like I tend to cycle through my interests!). I decided to go ahead and do some other things, and maybe by the time the fall season was about to start, I'd be ready again.

I was right! I'm getting more and more into my ballet-obsession mode. I've been finding myself very discouraged about this... well, not that I'm getting into it again, but that I was doing so well and making a lot of progress (muscle tone and strength, balance, improving on my technique, flexibility), only to stop for so long, losing a lot of what I'd accomplished. (Did I mention how awesome my legs were looking, too?) But, I'm not going to let that bring me down anymore. I just came across a great positive affirmation for me at this small setback in my life:

DEAR SELF, 

THERE IS PLENTY OF TIME. 

LOVE, ME

Yes, I've lost the bit of flexibility that I'd gained from months of ballet and stretching. BUT that injury I incurred on myself awhile back has finally just about healed! (This was the first injury I've had in life that has shown me that I'm now at that age where my body simply doesn't heal as fast as it once did. Lesson learned: I'll be proceeding slower and with more caution now!) I just checked on it a week or so ago and still felt a bit of pain. Today's the first time I've been able to do even a minor stretch without it hurting, and that's awesome! I should be able to start a mild stretching routine on that leg; I'll give it a couple more weeks though to make sure.

Yes, I've lost much of the muscle tone I gained, especially in my legs. However, I still naturally have not-too-much fat on my body, and I DO still have some of the muscle tone and strength, so it shouldn't take quite as long to start seeing results again. That was the first time I've ever had my body so toned, and I love that I was actually able to do it, to get myself active enough to see results (when I've always had a tendency to some laziness and an aversion to most things considered "exercise"). I am going to get to this point again, yes, and I will also do it a bit differently this time. I really mostly focused on my lower body before. I've come to really understand how vital the core is to ballet, so the exercises I do at home will be more holistic this time around. 

So the big news in my life right now: I start ballet again next month- less than four weeks to go! I emailed my teacher to let her know I do want to start again this coming season and asked her what grade I should go to (i.e., did I graduate or not?). She told me I did indeed graduate and could come to the next grade's classes, a step up (where, hopefully, my little friends will be, too!). This time, however, I got approval to take both this new, more advanced grade AND the grade I was in. There are steps & movements I didn't get to learn from her the first time, and I found it difficult to pick up just by watching the others. I want to retake the grade so 1) I can learn from her some of what I didn't before, 2) I can keep working on my technique at a slower pace, 3) I'll build more muscle and flexibility with an extra class, and most importantly: 4) MORE BALLET. I'm so excited.

My classes start August 25. I plan to do much more blogging than these past few months once I'm back into it.

Some inspiration:

For those times I'm down on my non-ballerina body...

-via Pointe Til You Drop blog

Frustration, slacking, end of the year demo

I've definitely been slacking in the ballet department... and blogging, too! I've gotten a touch frustrated with ballet lately. First of all, our class stops and starts a LOT, and the stopping tends to take forever. The kids I'm in class with have been doing ballet for nearly two full ballet years, but they still can't remember the basic terminology they've been doing every class, twice a week for those past two years. "xxx, what is a frappe?" Then we sit while the teacher shows the girl (or occasionally the one boy) what the movement is and tries to eek out the one-word definition from her. SO much of our class is spent doing this.

I skipped a Thursday two weeks ago and went this past Tuesday. Our class has started working on it's end of the year demonstration. I was stressing over whether or not I wanted to be in the demo, as my being an adult would stand out terribly on stage- yet, it would give me something to work towards and give me an opportunity to perform (no matter how poorly, haha!). Well, when I went to class Tuesday, our teacher told me and the other adult (the third only takes class once a week right now) that adults don't usually perform in the demonstration at the end of the year. That takes the dilemma of whether or not I do want to perform off the table (and on the plus side, the girls will be showing off their splits, and as we know, I cannot do a split- and yes, I'm still recovering from my outlandish attempt to do so!) But, well, I was actually leaning towards wanting to perform. I was going to invite my boyfriend and family to watch and everything. Thinking I would have the opportunity to do so was encouraging- I was coming home working quite a bit on my trouble areas, and improving. And now, it's a bit of a bummer, a bit of a discouragement, to know that I won't be able to perform.

Don't get me wrong- I can see the reasoning behind it. It's mostly a kids studio, and these kids have to be treated as though they will be professionals one day, while we all know us adults have long past that ability. It's just a bit of a drag, a bit of a let down.

On the plus side, since everyone is working on the demo, class is moving somewhat faster now, or at least it did Tuesday. We're dancing to different music, which has totally left me (and everyone else) confused, LOL. We didn't stop nearly as much to go over terminology, and DID stop to go over a move I was having trouble with. (I'm still having trouble picking up a few things. If the moves were taught before I started, those are the ones I really struggle with because I'm basically having to learn from others who often get it wrong. When I am shown the move correctly by the teacher, I usually have it down in no time.) On the downside, we also did a lot of practice sitting- sitting there very still so the kids could practice what they would have to do on stage (since they will perform, then sit on stage while others perform). I skipped Thursday's class as well.

I also realized there's no way I could do a summer intensive because, duh! I have a job.

I was going to cancel my Danceflix subscription, but now I think I'm going to keep it and start working more on the Finis Jhung series. I'm even considering dropping out of ballet until the next fall/new season begins. I think I will pick up a few more things first, then do that. And just work as I was doing initially- teaching myself at home. I now have a bunch of corrections to work on and when I checked out one of Finis's DVD sections the other day, which I haven't even looked at in months, it looks totally doable now that I have real class experience under my belt.

Edit: I forgot to add: I'm going to see a ballet this evening! It's being done by the school I took my first class from (the one where everyone was too busy chatting to ballet... though I may have to give that one another shot soon- hopefully the real instructor is off maternity leave by now). It is supposed to be their top-notch students, so hopefully *crosses fingers and points toes* this will give me the inspiration I need to get back to dancing!

Surviving Parent's Night, Today's Success at Discipline

Parent's Night
Just a quick note: my ballet practice today went wonderfully. Actually, let me back up: parent's night was lovely as well. My mom did attend, which was fun, and there weren't really but a couple of other parents there (including one with a super nice camera... please don't post my splits online or anywhere!) I messed up on quite a few things, but that was okay. We also have another adult, which makes for three of us now!

We go over terminology over and over and over again in class. For some reason, these kids just can't pick up the one-word definitions of "frappe", "petite", "degage", etc. I still have a few I mix up (frappe is one, actually), but for the most part, I know all of the definitions. So much of class, we all just stand there while the instructor calls out on of the kids who she knows struggles with the definitions, and we wait while the little girl (or boy) stands there doe-eyed as she pries the definition out. This happens with nearly every single movement we do. Tendus: "what does tendu mean?... Anyone... ***....? .................." Petite battements: "what does tendu mean?... Anyone... ***....? .................." On and on and on. It really eats up class time, and is a bit frustrating at times. I want to make these kids flashcards or something. I would, if I thought they might use it.

Anyway, on parent's night this time (this didn't happen previously), we barely went over any terms! Maybe two or three total! And it was wonderful! I worked so hard because instead of stopping so much for so long, we just went from movement to movement to movement. I was far more sore the day after than I usually am! I can't wait for all our classes to be like that!

I had my mom record a few of the movements I still have problems with, like the body positions. I haven't checked those out yet, but I nearly have them down. We are supposed to do a demonstration at the end of the ballet year. Positions are one of my lesser concerns, because it's very easy to sneak peaks at what the other students do, without being too out of sync. Unlike with, say, pas de bourree, where if you mess up and go the wrong way, it's super obvious.

Today's Practice (at home)
So today, I wasn't at all sure what I was going to do, or if I was even going to do any practice. I was doing some plies at my barre and decided what the heck, I'd get dressed and work some. Practice went so well. I just made up my own routine, and listened to some of the classical music I have. I did quite a few plies and tendus- I went through those two or three times on both sides. Especially with the tendus: they are easy enough to do... but I wanted to work on actually leading with my heel and keeping my foot on the floor as long as possible before bringing it up so my toe was on the ground.

Rond de jambes: I worked on really getting that turnout. The movement seems so easy, but it's difficult for me to remember to turn out as soon as I possibly can and as much as I possibly can.

Frappes: Worked on these as well. With my frappe, I think I flex my foot too much when it's at my ankle. My instructor recently told me to strike the foot farther out, so I worked on that and smoothly brushing it on the floor before coming up. This one's a little hard to do on carpet!

Chasses: I've almost had down our chasses in class- we do them a certain way, in a certain order. But I've also been struggling with these. I've understood the direction we had to move, but it wasn't making sense to me what foot crossed in front when. And then our instructor said something last class that gave me an "aha!" moment: the first half, the left foot is chasing the right and the second half, the right chases the left. With just that short description, I now have the movement down pretty well.

[Description: Start in 5th, right foot in front, arms down in preparatory. Plie. Glide forward (in plie), leading with the right foot, bringing arms up to first (fingers at naval... I just looked this up and realized my arms have been too high!). Quickly bring left foot back to fifth (in the back). With right foot, glide into second plie, arms out. Close to fifth (prep arms), this time with right leg in back. Now reverse that, using the left foot to lead and going to the left instead of right. (See, I kept trying to put the wrong foot in back when gliding into second.)

There are two ways we do this, both actually have an extra step that what I said above: à terre and en l'air. In à terre, before closing the non-leading foot to fifth, we tendu the non-working leg. So if I'm going forward with right foot, I'll glide forward, tendu back with my left leg, and quickly close. Glide right, tendu with left leg, close left foot in front. Glide back with right foot, tendu left foot to the front, snap it back to fifth in front. En l'air is the same, except we dégagé instead of tendu.]

Adagio: Finally (after doing my chasses over and over and over again), I went on to our adagio. We do this one both at the barre and in center. It's a passe through retire then the working leg extends up (grande battement?) and then releve (rise up on our standing leg). It's done front, side, back, side. At the barre, instead of passe, we petite battement, sous-sus (feet jump up- releve- in a tight fifth position), spot, and turn. I practiced that one last week. I was having a lot of trouble getting down what happened after the back, and now I have that one nailed- and my spotting has improved as well! (When in center, instead of spotting and turning around, we [try to] stay in releve, do a few short port de bras, then close in the opposite fifth and do it all on the other leg. )

Our adagio has been really difficult for me! I mentioned we do it à terre AND en l'air (in the air)... and I've barely even been able to do just à terre! So today, I did it over and over again- almost totally in the air. I've still got a long way to go, but I'm more or less able to do the movements without having to put my foot down so much for balance.

In summary (I think I am a bit over-explanatory sometimes... I used to write A LOT but now this blog is pretty much the only writing I do nowadays. I hope to improve as I continue on), I'm super proud of myself because today, I showed a lot of discipline! Not just that, but I was totally in the zone doing it. Sometimes I can try things but have my mind elsewhere, wanting to be doing other things. Sometimes the music that came on wasn't fitting for whatever I was doing, so I either turned it off for a while or I just ignored it (instead of allowing myself to become distracted by trying to find the perfect music or something). Today, I was disciplined! Here's to more of that in the future, and more often!

Now to nail my pas de bourres! I was only just starting to get the hang of the two we've been doing, and now there are two more! Slowly, I can do them. But when we are in center, we do all four in a row, and my feet start getting tangled up! I can do this, though. My boyfriend is convincing me I should, indeed, do the demonstration/performance at the end of the ballet year in May... and I think I just might. I think it's just the encouragement I need to really work hard to improve!

Taking a mini-break from exercise...

I'm taking a mini-break from today's practice. It's gone well- I've kept myself motivated, which I have been having trouble with. I've had to remind myself that this is fun, not just exercise. (If I view anything as exercise, it becomes a drag and I hate it!)

I didn't do much of a warm-up, but Tamra's classes start slow. I did her Lesson 4: Barre, except a few things at the end, I believe she worked on grande battements, and I didn't do those. I don't think I've even done any of the online classes since starting actual classes (which reminds me- I need to cancel my DanceFlix subscription for now, since I haven't been doing those either). I definitely see improvements in what I can do now versus what I could do before starting live classes!

So I worked my way through those, then I started in on a couple of things I'm having trouble with in class: my arabesques, and ah, our grand battements(??), I think they are. (From fifth, passe to retire, then do a leg extension as high as you can, tendu, close.) With the arabesques, I've been having trouble getting my arms right for where my standing leg is. First arabesque has the arm on the standing leg's side extended, and third arabesque has both hands in the air, but the standing leg side is higher than the working leg. I've been switching those around. So I worked on that quite a bit, and I think I've got the hang of it.

I worked on that second exercise mostly for one reason: after we've done front, side, back, we go back to the side but instead of finishing the same way, our leg is raised (damn, I need to make these flashcards I found online), plie, sous-sus, spot, turn, plie, fifth, immediately repeat the regular exercise. I've been trying to just finish the exercise, forget we are supposed to plie, sous-sus and turn, so by the time I've gotten my body facing the other direction, I forget what the hell we are supposed to be doing, so I miss a few beats catching up, which often totally throws me off. But now: now I think I've got it. I practiced over and over, mostly the part right before and after the turn.

In summary: I've brushed up on my arabesques (and also practiced holding them) and worked on spotting while turning today.

Now to stretch. Let's see how that split's going...

Interesting little bit

I found this image on Tumblr of Natalia Osipova:

and there was an interesting comment noting that she actually does a small rond while doing a grande jete, which may get her up to 6" or so farther in the air. I wouldn't have noticed it if it hadn't been pointed out (it's the second leap in the gif with her right leg). That's kinda neat- I wonder if it does actually get her up higher?

Back to class, breathing while stretching, "lengthening" muscles versus "relaxing" them

I made it to class yesterday- it felt soooo good to be exercising and stretching again. (I sat out the second half, due to the jumps.) Somehow, it seems a break did me some good- it feels like I'm slightly more flexible, but maybe I'm imagining it. But when doing center splits, I'm able to get my elbows down to the ground- though perhaps I'm simply not stretching as wide as normal.

(Although I did read somewhere [in a book preview on Amazon, I think, about ballet/dance anatomy] that ideally, a dancer or such will take two full weeks off each year of not exercising (or maybe only gentle exercising, and it does their bodies a whole lot of good!)(I'm not anywhere near a professional dancer, though, and haven't even been doing ballet for a year!)

So, we have a new adult in class! She's taller than me, 21 years old, and about as flexible as I am! So I feel a little less awkward in class now, but slightly more awkward having another adult who may be watching me. (I'm not sure what I will do when I go to adult-only classes if I move!) That's pretty exciting.

I told my instructor, when my left leg was in retire, but would not get that nice, even line like my right leg is capable of getting, that I wasn't able to get that leg out there. She assumed it was from my accident. I tried to clarify after class, but she didn't catch it, and isn't going to call me out on that leg anymore. I'm kinda relieved- I'm trying with that leg but it is simply not shaped to do what I'd like it to do.

How I want my retire to look!

 Before class when I was stretching, though, I did work on my left leg. I put it up in retire, eased up against a vertical barre... bar, and twisted a bit so the leg got closer to the correct position. I held it like that for a minute or so, and when I stepped away from the barre my line looked much better- but I wasn't able to access that again the next time I tried. So my left leg, it seems, will make a nice line in retire, but it is going to take a lot of stretching- and strengthening- to get it to hold that position. (All of this due to my tibial torsion.)

More leotards came in, including a different style of black that I will actually feel comfortable wearing in class! Still have those photos coming one day!

(I mean, LOOK at this! Amazing turnout, foot pointed so well, that leg high up in retire, clean line, just lovely!

I believe I linked to Tsatsulin's book recently, on stretching. He brings up a fantastic point: don't breathe deep breaths when doing deep stretches. When you do so, you're breathing tension into that muscle (especially if you're focusing on the muscle, visualizing it releasing, etc). Instead, it's better to take short, shallow breaths. I tried this yesterday, and it totally helped me.

A note on that: he also recommends not focusing on lengthening your muscles, tendons, fascia. Instead, you are releasing what it there. That totally makes intuitive sense to me. I've never worked on elongating muscles, even when I've read or heard the term "lengthen your muscles". I don't need them longer. I need them to loosen up- the looser they get, the deeper of a stretch and the more flexible I am.

Inspirational Animated Gifs

Some photos I recently found on Tumblr. I believe the following are all Hee Seo Mariinsky, who is with the ABT, I believe.

This photo is unbelievable! Definitely one of my absolute favorites. The slight step, the absolutely perfect rolling down from pointe... You can see every single tiny motion perfectly.

And then the perfect rolling up (and hey! Even professionals may quiver a little while balancing!)(Of course, she'd probably been doing more ballet in that day than I will in a month!)

She undoubtedly knows exactly where her working foot is at any given moment. The second time it comes towards her body being slightly closer than the first time, the last swinging out a bit further than any of the previous times... I know from just learning to tendu (and a bit of degage, especially a la seconde) that getting the foot in the exact same spot you want it every time is difficult and comes only with practice!

Out of practice briefly :(

Last week, I left work a little early and was heading home. I'm stopped at a stoplight, when I hear a BOOM! behind me. I immediately look into my rearview mirror, to see.... an SUV plowing towards my rear. I threw my arms up around my head and BOOM! I was hit. (The first boom was an SUV hitting the one that hit me!)

That was last Wednesday. I was extremely disoriented immediately after. I had headaches and body aches into Thursday, when I left work early to drop off my ballet payment with a note as to why I wouldn't be in class, went home, and slept until the next day. I still felt bad on Friday, so I finally went to the ER, and they told me I have post-concussion syndrome- basically, the after-effects of having one's head shaken (or hit, I was shaken only) too hard. Headaches, nausea, disorientation, etc. I went home that day and slept the day away as well.

So I missed last Thursday's class. I wanted to go and at least take notes, but I was so tired, I couldn't. I'm feeling better today (Tuesday). Still a headache, though, and some minor body aches still (left side of my body from head to bottom), but I just don't think my head can handle the bouncing from echappe sous-sus, etc. Today, I am going to go and just sit there and take notes as fast as I can. I've been wanting to do this anyway, and it's a great day to do so.

My plan is to have a little time beforehand to scribble the major ways we start an exercise (our prep) so I can just write "tendus, start a" or "start b" or whatever. Otherwise, I'm not sure I'll ever learn which ones we start with a tendu versus just fifth or whatever! And I'm especially looking forward to writing down the positions of the body when the class does that, along with the port de bras. Those two things are what I really want to know, but don't yet. I'm still having to follow the girl who is good, when I want to be able to solely focus on myself and how I am doing it when I do it. (I nearly have the port de bras, but all knowledge goes out the door when I'm at home- I can do them in class, but can't practice otherwise!) Also looking forward to getting down the order of everything- hopefully by this weekend, I will be able to get in some really great practice. I still don't know the movements themselves, and that's about to change.

I've done some plies and another leg exercise since my accident, but that's about it. This sucks and I can't wait to go back to doing ballet! On the other hand, this is also a positive thing because I will have an excuse to just take notes in class. (Provided, of course, that I am allowed! And I think I will be.)

So that's what's going on with me. I'm very grateful that I only had minor injuries- it could have been so much worse! I will be even more grateful to return to ballet. But I'm still here, and still obsessed with ballet!

Brutal class

Tonight's class was kinda brutal. Apparently, my teacher thinks I should be learning faster than I am... and she's probably right. I mentioned this past week that I'm just working on the basics at home- I don't even have all of those down yet! And now I'm getting fussed at for not knowing all of my arabesques, and for getting my feet mixed up in, eh, whatever those other moves are called. (Luckily, only the kids get picked on for terminology... right now.)

I was constantly being called out tonight- my head was facing the wrong way, my retire wasn't up high enough, my arms were too far to my sides, my (left) knee (with the tibial torsion) wasn't pointed out far enough... I wasn't sure if I should mention the tibial torsion or not, so I decided not to yet, because even if it won't turn out as far as we'd both like, I can make it go a little further and keep working on it, and I do need to keep attention on it because of the flaw.

I even got fussed at tonight for not being able to do splits! Some good came from this- she gave me a new way of working on my splits. I'd been keeping the back knee on the ground and the back foot facing down and she told me from now on to keep the knee up and the foot sideways- and it made a big difference, so I will be doing this from now on. Then she said something about getting my head down to the ground when we were doing our front splits facing away from her... I turned my head and raised an eyebrow at her. She said, "well, eventually..." LOL!

I'm bitching a little here, but honestly, I needed all of this to kick my ass up a notch. I was mentally, yet unconsciously, using the excuse "I'm new, so it's okay that I'm behind" to justify not learning faster. (And we got a new girl in tonight, so I'm not the new one anymore.)

After class, I got my little redheaded friend to help me on a couple of things. I've now got several new things (even just from figuring them out in tonight's class) I am confident I can practice at home. I'm exhausted, though. I want to get up and work on them all, but I'm so tired. I will at least work on my splits, though, and work on the other stuff tomorrow. There just isn't enough time in the week!!

One other thing: my toes are starting to hurt. And I'm starting to realize how faaarrrrrr I have to go before my ankles and feet will ever be ready for pointe work. My big toes hurt because it seems we're always dragging them on the ground. My ankles started hurting a bunch and getting weak when we were working on echappe sous-sus. (Yeah, I've nearly got that one down! At barre and in center!)We didn't even do that many... ballerinas are insane!!

Music & Markings

I happened to glance down at the record player (yes, my instructor uses an old-timey record player with vinyl records!) as I was walking out of class last week. Really, all I noticed was the word "Cecchetti", which possibly gives me something to go by when I'm practicing certain movements that differ between styles, such as arabesques.

Then I was watching some ballet videos and heard one of the songs that we use in class, the title below the video: Robert Long's "Battements Glisses". I just decided to check out the iTunes store and see if I could could find the album- and sure enough, there it was, along with a number of other songs we use in class. Of course, I shelled out the $10 so I can practice along to the right music :)

I also took some masking tape and marked where my feet should be in first/fifth near the barre (I tend to stand too close to the barre, and this is a proper distance away). Then I tendu'ed to second and put an X in masking tape where my a la seconde should be (since we don't have perfect turnout, my instructor has us do a la seconde wherever our feet point in first position instead of straight out to the side). I repeated for the other side, using the same mark for first/fifth (which I put near the halfway mark near the center of my barre). I've noticed (and it's been pointed out to me several times) that my foot should always arrive at the same place in many occasions when in a la seconde, so I'm hoping this helps me develop the muscle memory I need for this.

Parent's Night, Remembering Class

So my last class proved to be quite different from normal classes. I somehow skipped the memo that it was parent's night. (I think it was actually on the paper that we were given something-something-parent's-something-parking-parent's, whatever, it didn't seem to pertain to me at the time.) I was settling in on the floor as the girls were positioning themselves, and I was starting in on my ankle rolls (god, those still hurt!) and the parent's were coming in and sitting in the chairs. "Is it parent's night?" I asked my little red-headed friend. She nodded her head. "Oh! I'm a little nervous now!" I told her, and she giggled at me.

So there we were, on the floor under the barre, doing our ankle rolls, myself towering above all the others (and I'm not in bad shape, but when surrounded by little nine-year-olds with pretty much no fat on their bodies, I look like a big, fat giant next to them!) One of the parents is staring at me, and I stare back at her, but it was an odd stare standoff because I knew she was staring and she knew I knew she was staring but she wasn't quite making eye contact with me, just staring at my face somewhere. While still staring at me, she asked the instructor something, who replied "oh, no, she's a student!" and then they kept talking, but too low for me to hear, and the lady kept staring at me! So that was a little awkward and I'd love to know what was said. At least one of the other parents looked impressed and said something about "exercise", but that was all I heard. All in all, I'm really glad there were no fathers there, because I would definitely have felt awkward.

I happened to have on my most modest leotard, thank goodness, and I'd also not forgotten to put on my silicone nipple covers (I just ordered more- those are sooooo handy! My first class got very weird when I noticed my nipples were shining through). I even had on a sports bra I usually don't wear, because the wide crossed straps in the back are obvious, but on this night I was glad for the extra modesty. (Don't get me wrong, I'm never ever dressed inappropriately- I won't even wear a camisole, remember? But a couple of leotards are a little lower in the front, which only proves a slight problem when we lay on the floor for our back exercises, and I have to be sure to pull the neck up a touch or the slightest cleavage will show.) I'd also happened to take a bit of extra anxiety medication, so it didn't go too bad.

I did get called out a little more than normal, but that was okay- I was doing things incorrectly. I kinda blew a few things in the center. When we do center, I usually have to follow the one girl who is very good, or another one of the girls if she isn't in front of me. The slower movements like our arabesques go fine enough, but with the faster-paced things (like pas de bourres), it can take me a few beats to figure out what we are doing. On this night, though, it took me more than  a few beats when I messed up, and I had more trouble than usual on center. But I didn't let it bring me down! I was glad when class was over, though, and made my way out quickly after curtseying to our wonderful instructor.

So today is Saturday and I am trying to go through in my head what we do in class and write it down so I can work on it. I know we do plie, tendu, degage... and then the order gets hazy for me. I do know we also do ronde de jamb and frappes... and then it gets very hazy. I'm thinking we do passé developpe but there is also something before that, two somethings I can't quite think of... Oh, awesome. I'd been looking at that linked video in a playlist and came across one of the movements: it's just a passé. So that comes before the passé developpe. Now for the other I can't remember. It's like the passé but our leg doesn't come up into retire. So I'm just missing one for barre (although I'm not sure the proper preparation for each of them), and our last one is, I believe, an echappe sous-sus? It's done facing the barre, 1) spring up from fifth to sous-sus 2) spring back down to fifth 3) echappe? (both feet go out away from each other) 4) spring back down to opposite fifth... spring up, don't change fifth, spring out, change fifth, etc.

Center, of course, gets more difficult, and it changes up. But I know we do: our arabesques, positions of the body on stage, the echappe sous-sus or whatever we do at the barre but in the center, and our port de bras, which I allllmost have down. I'm going to try those today because I like them and I really want to have them down without having to watch the other girl. (I'm sorry, friend! I know it must be awkward to constantly have a grown-up staring at you and trying to follow along, especially if you make a mistake that's highlighted because two of us are doing it!)

So yep, that's where I'm at today. Still not having time to practice every night, but I'm working on getting more and more stretching and/or exercises in during the week.

The Seven Deadly Sins of Ballet...

Here's a good reminder article for technique and foundation: "The Seven Deadly Sins".

I'm currently most guilty of rolling in, misaligning the spine, and using unnecessary tension. The article brings up a good point about the rolling in:

To get a 180-degree first position, dancers will sometimes let their arches roll forward. But turnout is not about forcing your feet open; it’s about opening up in the hips. “Turning out is an activity, not a position,” says Irene Dowd, who teaches anatomy at the Juilliard School. “If we stop sustaining that movement, our feet will passively roll in.”

This is a good point for me, because I do catch myself rolling in, and when I do, I always think it's because I'm trying to push past my limits of how far my turnout actually is. But this suggests that I'm not necessarily doing that; instead, I am failing to maintain the turnout that I am capable of through my hips (which can be caused by overdoing turnout- i.e., not being able to hold it suggesting I'm not yet strong enough for that much turnout, but not necessarily).

I'd like to state that it's definitely easier to recognize when I'm rolling in with my new MDM shoes, which I am still loving (and yes, are still pretty "new" because I only wear them at class. I can tell when I pull them out which goes on left or right foot since they have molded so well. I will get another pair after these, I believe, and use these at home once they have worn out some, but it looks like it may be awhile). (And maybe it's really because I'm just nervous in class or we are moving a bit too fast, but it seems like I have more trouble balancing in class than at home, and I'm kinda wondering if it's the split soles, as I do feel a small difference there when I try both at home.)

Anyway, so I'm continuing to love ballet, especially the freedom it gives me from anything else going on in my life. I'm really starting to pick up what is going on in class, and have started safely practicing a few movements at home without worrying I'm messing them up (except the preparation- there are two main ones we do, or none at all, and I tend to forget which goes with which). I'm beginning to stretch and workout more on my off days. Everything is going great!

Something is going on in my life- totally nowhere near a done deal yet- but I may find myself in a situation where I can basically take as much ballet as I want, and have plenty of downtime to practice as much as I want. I would have to move two hours away, but I've already checked, and there is a ballet studio that offers adult classes ranging from beginner to advanced/pointe. I really love my teacher, and I have grown comfortable working with the kids who kinda look up to me, so the thought of totally changing that is a bit scary (especially working with mostly adults now that I've gotten used to this). But the benefits to my ballet will be many, and I can also most likely take private lessons as well! I'd probably start with one thirty-minute class a week. So that's on my mind lately- but again, very tentative right now, and not likely to happen for at least a few months, if ever.

To get a 180-degree first position, dancers will sometimes let their arches roll forward. But turnout is not about forcing your feet open; it’s about opening up in the hips. “Turning out is an activity, not a position,” says Irene Dowd, who teaches anatomy at the Juilliard School. “If we stop sustaining that movement, our feet will passively roll in.” - See more at: http://www.dancemagazine.com/issues/January-2008/The-Seven-Deadly-Sins#sthash.lXIM2BQM.dpuf

To get a 180-degree first position, dancers will sometimes let their arches roll forward. But turnout is not about forcing your feet open; it’s about opening up in the hips. “Turning out is an activity, not a position,” says Irene Dowd, who teaches anatomy at the Juilliard School. “If we stop sustaining that movement, our feet will passively roll in.” - See more at: http://www.dancemagazine.com/issues/January-2008/The-Seven-Deadly-Sins#sthash.lXIM2BQM.dpuf

To get a 180-degree first position, dancers will sometimes let their arches roll forward. But turnout is not about forcing your feet open; it’s about opening up in the hips. “Turning out is an activity, not a position,” says Irene Dowd, who teaches anatomy at the Juilliard School. “If we stop sustaining that movement, our feet will passively roll in.” - See more at: http://www.dancemagazine.com/issues/January-2008/The-Seven-Deadly-Sins#sthash.lXIM2BQM.dpuf