Skipping (part of) a grade...

I AM SO STOKED! Here's what happened recently:

I've been going to class pretty consistently, and was really liking the second level I've been in. I pretty much knew what was going on and was able to really focus on technique, as it's the class that I originally took before (starting, again, in the middle of the year). The class was super full, though. I never went on an evening when everyone was there, but if I had, I would not have been able to drop-in.

So, the administration lady speaks to me about moving to the next level. Honestly, I felt a bit pressured to do so. I chose to take the level I was taking for a reason. I couldn't commit to the next level at the beginning of the year, and I felt starting halfway through, I'd just be totally lost. But she was really encouraging me to, as the level I'm in has far fewer students.

I just couldn't do it Tuesday. It took hours for me to get up the nerve to get dressed and go to school. Even with my anxiety, I was extremely tense and nervous. I did NOT want to be way behind everyone else. So I speak with the instructor, and she doesn't mind if I take the class, but she reiterates that she is not going to hold up the class just for me. Sure, I totally understand that, but the second time she said it, I felt a little challenged... which was good.

I went in there and nailed it! Okay, my form wasn't anywhere near good, and my pas de bourres, echappes, and assembles were a mess. I had no clue what they were doing with the pirouette business... I was taught how to (technically, if not in reality) do one in a class in a different school, but that was the whole deal. This method breaks things down into quarter turns- which makes sense, but wasn't what I expected.

Oh, and to top it off! Before class started, and I'd made it inside the studio with the other students, I confessed I was terrified and they were all going to be so far ahead of me. Keep in mind these kids are about ten years old. They were so sweet! They encouraged me to follow them, helped me out with one of the across-the-floor moves we were doing, and everyone told me afterwards what a great job I had done!

The best part of this, though, is that I totally faced my fear and conquered it. I did so much better than I expected. In the other class, and I realized this, I wasn't really pushing myself. I'd done it before. But with this one, I'm really going to need to work hard to catch up. It's not going to take long to finish memorizing the barre work, since most of it is what we'd ended with before. But the center "jumps"- the ones I've been procrastinating on- I'm going to really need to start tackling those in my gym/barre-room time.

Speaking of the gym, I'm very happy and proud to say I've started going back this week! Arms one day, legs another- the latter followed by some ballet, until my legs just gave out on me.

Things are going pretty sweet here on my end! I really needed to take this class, to inspire me to push myself. If I'm not challenged, I usually can't put my heart & soul into it.

One last thing that, of course, I have to mention. Moving up a grade puts me one year closer to earning my pointe shoes! I'm having trouble understanding the levels listed on the website, but I think I will start one year from this Fall. OMGOMGOMG!

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Juanita De Los Santos

 Via Pinterest

Photos for more inspiration!

Southeastern Regional Ballet Association - Photo by Richard Calmes http://www.pbase.com/rcalmes. Via Pinterest.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Elevé Dancewear (@elevedancewear) on Instagram: “Looking forward to this week • Photo by @darianvolkova Model @ionovaworld Via Pinterest.

<< "La danse n'a plus rien à raconter : elle a beaucoup à dire" ... © Maurice Béjart>> Via Pinterest.

And because you know I'm obsessed with ballet feet...

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Bruna Santana Via Pinterest

Progress Photos

I wanted to post some progress photos so I can see how far I move along. Also: hopefully, if any of you are feeling bad about a lack of flexibility or some such, you can look at these photos and be glad you aren't this bad! :)

So here is my turnout:

And here are my "splits", as I call them in jest:

Funny, huh?

And so you can see the weird setup I have to work with in my local gym:

Who designed this?? Basically, I can see from my chest up when I am at the barre. But I'm not going to complain: at least I have barres to work with, AND as long as there's no class in there, I've usually got the room to myself.

Once my schedule meshes with another exercise room they have at the gym, I'll go there to work on center movements. No barres, but full length mirrors everywhere!

Back to class, breathing while stretching, "lengthening" muscles versus "relaxing" them

I made it to class yesterday- it felt soooo good to be exercising and stretching again. (I sat out the second half, due to the jumps.) Somehow, it seems a break did me some good- it feels like I'm slightly more flexible, but maybe I'm imagining it. But when doing center splits, I'm able to get my elbows down to the ground- though perhaps I'm simply not stretching as wide as normal.

(Although I did read somewhere [in a book preview on Amazon, I think, about ballet/dance anatomy] that ideally, a dancer or such will take two full weeks off each year of not exercising (or maybe only gentle exercising, and it does their bodies a whole lot of good!)(I'm not anywhere near a professional dancer, though, and haven't even been doing ballet for a year!)

So, we have a new adult in class! She's taller than me, 21 years old, and about as flexible as I am! So I feel a little less awkward in class now, but slightly more awkward having another adult who may be watching me. (I'm not sure what I will do when I go to adult-only classes if I move!) That's pretty exciting.

I told my instructor, when my left leg was in retire, but would not get that nice, even line like my right leg is capable of getting, that I wasn't able to get that leg out there. She assumed it was from my accident. I tried to clarify after class, but she didn't catch it, and isn't going to call me out on that leg anymore. I'm kinda relieved- I'm trying with that leg but it is simply not shaped to do what I'd like it to do.

How I want my retire to look!

 Before class when I was stretching, though, I did work on my left leg. I put it up in retire, eased up against a vertical barre... bar, and twisted a bit so the leg got closer to the correct position. I held it like that for a minute or so, and when I stepped away from the barre my line looked much better- but I wasn't able to access that again the next time I tried. So my left leg, it seems, will make a nice line in retire, but it is going to take a lot of stretching- and strengthening- to get it to hold that position. (All of this due to my tibial torsion.)

More leotards came in, including a different style of black that I will actually feel comfortable wearing in class! Still have those photos coming one day!

(I mean, LOOK at this! Amazing turnout, foot pointed so well, that leg high up in retire, clean line, just lovely!

I believe I linked to Tsatsulin's book recently, on stretching. He brings up a fantastic point: don't breathe deep breaths when doing deep stretches. When you do so, you're breathing tension into that muscle (especially if you're focusing on the muscle, visualizing it releasing, etc). Instead, it's better to take short, shallow breaths. I tried this yesterday, and it totally helped me.

A note on that: he also recommends not focusing on lengthening your muscles, tendons, fascia. Instead, you are releasing what it there. That totally makes intuitive sense to me. I've never worked on elongating muscles, even when I've read or heard the term "lengthen your muscles". I don't need them longer. I need them to loosen up- the looser they get, the deeper of a stretch and the more flexible I am.

Music & Markings

I happened to glance down at the record player (yes, my instructor uses an old-timey record player with vinyl records!) as I was walking out of class last week. Really, all I noticed was the word "Cecchetti", which possibly gives me something to go by when I'm practicing certain movements that differ between styles, such as arabesques.

Then I was watching some ballet videos and heard one of the songs that we use in class, the title below the video: Robert Long's "Battements Glisses". I just decided to check out the iTunes store and see if I could could find the album- and sure enough, there it was, along with a number of other songs we use in class. Of course, I shelled out the $10 so I can practice along to the right music :)

I also took some masking tape and marked where my feet should be in first/fifth near the barre (I tend to stand too close to the barre, and this is a proper distance away). Then I tendu'ed to second and put an X in masking tape where my a la seconde should be (since we don't have perfect turnout, my instructor has us do a la seconde wherever our feet point in first position instead of straight out to the side). I repeated for the other side, using the same mark for first/fifth (which I put near the halfway mark near the center of my barre). I've noticed (and it's been pointed out to me several times) that my foot should always arrive at the same place in many occasions when in a la seconde, so I'm hoping this helps me develop the muscle memory I need for this.

Parent's Night, Remembering Class

So my last class proved to be quite different from normal classes. I somehow skipped the memo that it was parent's night. (I think it was actually on the paper that we were given something-something-parent's-something-parking-parent's, whatever, it didn't seem to pertain to me at the time.) I was settling in on the floor as the girls were positioning themselves, and I was starting in on my ankle rolls (god, those still hurt!) and the parent's were coming in and sitting in the chairs. "Is it parent's night?" I asked my little red-headed friend. She nodded her head. "Oh! I'm a little nervous now!" I told her, and she giggled at me.

So there we were, on the floor under the barre, doing our ankle rolls, myself towering above all the others (and I'm not in bad shape, but when surrounded by little nine-year-olds with pretty much no fat on their bodies, I look like a big, fat giant next to them!) One of the parents is staring at me, and I stare back at her, but it was an odd stare standoff because I knew she was staring and she knew I knew she was staring but she wasn't quite making eye contact with me, just staring at my face somewhere. While still staring at me, she asked the instructor something, who replied "oh, no, she's a student!" and then they kept talking, but too low for me to hear, and the lady kept staring at me! So that was a little awkward and I'd love to know what was said. At least one of the other parents looked impressed and said something about "exercise", but that was all I heard. All in all, I'm really glad there were no fathers there, because I would definitely have felt awkward.

I happened to have on my most modest leotard, thank goodness, and I'd also not forgotten to put on my silicone nipple covers (I just ordered more- those are sooooo handy! My first class got very weird when I noticed my nipples were shining through). I even had on a sports bra I usually don't wear, because the wide crossed straps in the back are obvious, but on this night I was glad for the extra modesty. (Don't get me wrong, I'm never ever dressed inappropriately- I won't even wear a camisole, remember? But a couple of leotards are a little lower in the front, which only proves a slight problem when we lay on the floor for our back exercises, and I have to be sure to pull the neck up a touch or the slightest cleavage will show.) I'd also happened to take a bit of extra anxiety medication, so it didn't go too bad.

I did get called out a little more than normal, but that was okay- I was doing things incorrectly. I kinda blew a few things in the center. When we do center, I usually have to follow the one girl who is very good, or another one of the girls if she isn't in front of me. The slower movements like our arabesques go fine enough, but with the faster-paced things (like pas de bourres), it can take me a few beats to figure out what we are doing. On this night, though, it took me more than  a few beats when I messed up, and I had more trouble than usual on center. But I didn't let it bring me down! I was glad when class was over, though, and made my way out quickly after curtseying to our wonderful instructor.

So today is Saturday and I am trying to go through in my head what we do in class and write it down so I can work on it. I know we do plie, tendu, degage... and then the order gets hazy for me. I do know we also do ronde de jamb and frappes... and then it gets very hazy. I'm thinking we do passé developpe but there is also something before that, two somethings I can't quite think of... Oh, awesome. I'd been looking at that linked video in a playlist and came across one of the movements: it's just a passé. So that comes before the passé developpe. Now for the other I can't remember. It's like the passé but our leg doesn't come up into retire. So I'm just missing one for barre (although I'm not sure the proper preparation for each of them), and our last one is, I believe, an echappe sous-sus? It's done facing the barre, 1) spring up from fifth to sous-sus 2) spring back down to fifth 3) echappe? (both feet go out away from each other) 4) spring back down to opposite fifth... spring up, don't change fifth, spring out, change fifth, etc.

Center, of course, gets more difficult, and it changes up. But I know we do: our arabesques, positions of the body on stage, the echappe sous-sus or whatever we do at the barre but in the center, and our port de bras, which I allllmost have down. I'm going to try those today because I like them and I really want to have them down without having to watch the other girl. (I'm sorry, friend! I know it must be awkward to constantly have a grown-up staring at you and trying to follow along, especially if you make a mistake that's highlighted because two of us are doing it!)

So yep, that's where I'm at today. Still not having time to practice every night, but I'm working on getting more and more stretching and/or exercises in during the week.

Today: Stretching & Strengthening

I have done so little lately in terms of strengthening that I can totally tell. Grande plies are a bitch right now- I struggle with them again. I'm starting back with randomly doing pliés, relevés, and uh, I don't know if it's a ballet move but it's a développé derrière skipping the attitude positions- so like a back leg raise to target my glutes, basically. (I'm a bit afraid that doing as many of these as I like to do may actually hinder my développé derrières due to building so much muscle, and due to the fact that I actually do it a little outwards instead of straight back because it seems to work my glutes more, but the payoff is proving to be a much firmer ass, and so it's worth it to me to work on these. I do need to work more on keeping my extended leg straight, as that doesn't come naturally in that position.)

Basically, since I've started taking actual classes, my work outside of class has dwindled. I do try to arrive an hour early to stretch before class, and sometimes to have some of the girls help me out with some movements, and I also try to stay at least 20-30 minutes after class stretching some, but otherwise I haven't been doing as much as I was, and that needs to change.

I have stopped working the classes I was doing online. I really want to focus on strength and stretching right now- and working on learning the movements in class as quickly as I can, because those are what I want to be practicing at home. I almost have them down to where I will feel comfortable practicing at home, but I'm not quite there yet: I'm afraid of practicing and getting a movement down well, only to be in class and realize I've been doing it wrong. But I am picking things up pretty well, and that will soon be an option for me.

I'm focusing a lot on stretching right now, after doing the warmup I usually do (which I have mostly memorized, so it's also what I do when I first get to the studio and get changed from work clothes). I'm quit excited because even though two of my splits are still embarrassingly high, one of them, my left side split, is actually making noticeable progress! I'm not to the ground yet, and am still inches away from it, but less than a foot, I think, and that's a big difference for me!

So yep, back to it!

Oh, edit! I just wanted to say that when I first started, leg raises/releves were kinda difficult for me- I mean, well, they are hard.  When I first started, I would do about 12-15 one-legged relevés (usually with the other leg in sur le cou-de-pied or retiré) and 30 relevés in a set. Now I'm up to somewhere like 60-100 relevés and I've doubled my one-legged retirés, doing 25-30+ each set. (And I guess I've been doing enough lately, because even with some weakening, I am still able to do these with some ease.)

Ballet as a Coping Mechanism

I mentioned before that I've suffered from depression and other mental health issues in the past. I recently brought up ballet to my therapist, and he said that ballet should be a good coping mechanism for me, in tough times when I need something.

I had a fairly rough day emotionally, the other day. My emotions were all wound up. With nothing else to do, I turned to ballet. Well, it was mostly working out ballet-style, but whatever the case, I threw my heart and soul into it. My thoughts and feelings didn't go away- they were still there, but it was like I was able to feel the feelings I didn't want to feel and think the thoughts I didn't want to think by pushing all of the hurt into exercise, all of that negative energy detoured towards something more positive than wallowing in it all. I'm very grateful to have this new thing in my life, and the reasons are multiplying.

I have my third class later today, and I am very anxious for it to start. I'm leaving work earlier than I need to so I can go straight there, get dressed, and get in a good warm-up and stretch session before class, now that I know it's okay to use the extra studio (very large, tons of mirrors, barre against two walls). I can also practice those steps my new little friend taught me last Thursday (still working on those). Now for 3:30 to get here, c'mon, c'mon...

My First Classes!

I know you, my dear (eventual, at least) reader, have been on the edge of your seat waiting to hear how my first classes have gone, the ones with the second year nine year olds. And I'm here to let you know...

I LOVE IT!!!

All of my fears went out the window just about as soon as we started the first class. First of all, my teacher (whom I'd met before) was very nice and put me at ease. I was feeling a little shy, but she told me to go ahead and take off my shirt to get to just my leotard/tights/slippers, and told me to get behind one girl who is very good, and in front of another girl (who was good as well, though not to the first's level).

Everyone (about six or eight children total, all girls except one boy, and I'm the oldest one by decades) was already on the floor starting their warmups. (I did a half-hearted warm up prior to class, but there were moms around and it was my first day there and I felt too nervous to do much the first day.) Almost immediately, I saw one thing I need to work on: ankle rolls! I've always done maybe 5-10 in then out at a time. Nope, not here. We start each class with 64 counts in and 64 counts out. OUCH! (Luckily, this is something I can work on while sitting in my chair at work.)

Our barre exercises were so much fun! From what I've gathered, the girls have been working on the same basics every class. They say a little chant of what each foot is doing as it moves (touch back, touch front, etc), and we've gone from tendus to plies to frappes to petite battements sur le-cou-de-pied to rond de jambes and a few others I'm forgetting. The exercises are quite a bit different from what I've been doing. I don't quite have them down yet, but it's definitely doable.

Note: What I just mentioned is THE best thing about my class. I can do the exercises, but I don't have them down yet- the order, the making it look pretty. So it's just right: difficult, but not overly so.

With the barre, I am having trouble with my arms and head. I only touched on that with my online classes and DVDs and am not used to doing it more frequently. I'm already getting the hang of some of the movements, but when we get to more complicated foot patterns, I focus on that and try to keep my arms in second or first (though sometimes they are all over the place).

After barre, we moved to the center: two rows, me behind the proficient girl. The center was more difficult for me, as I suspected it would be, but again, not overly so. Mostly, it's a matter of learning the order of each exercise, and then with the center, balance is another issue I'll be working on. The hardest thing for me as far as balance goes has been maintaining it while doing grand plies, especially fifth. Luckily, that's something I can work on at home. I also have trouble with my arabesques, but I'm quickly picking up the arm positions- I almost have the general placement down and then it will be time to fine-tune that.

Finally, we did some movements across the room diagonally, both ways. The first thing we did was a little three-step skip thing. The next one was way harder for me- I was totally lost. I told the little girl behind me to go ahead in front of me, so I could watch a little longer. (She is ADORABLE! Cute little girl with long, curly red hair! She's one of the staff's daughters.) She looked up at me with big eyes and whispered, "We have to go together." And so we did.

The only time I really felt out of place some (and honestly, this would have happened even if I was their age) was when everyone did splits. Only myself and one little girl cannot do at least one split- we hover a foot above what everyone else can do. I knew that would happen, and I knew I would compare myself, but I'm already working on that. (Okay, well, I feel a little out of place when I'm looking in the mirror, and towering over everyone. I think I've gained a little weight- it fluctuates- and I think I've gained a little extra muscle mass in my legs, so not only am I taller than everyone, my weight really stands out, too. Yes, I know I'm an adult, but... ok, I'm self-conscious about the way I look!)

Tonight's class was a lot easier in terms of my anxiety. I left work a little earlier than planned and ran home and changed. I arrived at the studio early, and spent time doing some decent stretching. I was just on the hall floor, and then the little redhead comes over to me and opens the door to another studio room and tells me that's where we usually go and warm up. So we went in there and I was warming up and the little girls were making their way in and warming up, playing on the barre, talking.

Tonight went pretty much the same (though we didn't have to do awkward grand plies, yay!). I did better at keeping up, though I still have a ways to go. I got a few corrections tonight, which did not happen in my first class. (I'm also trying to take in any corrections she gives others and apply them to myself, as long as I'm not totally wrapped up in just trying to get a movement down.) My little red-headed friend seemed happy that we partnered again (her mother told me she'd been all excited that we were partners the first class!). At the very end of the class, my teacher went over that last diagonal movement we do. It involves a plie, a tendu, two steps, a half-turn while switching to a third step with the other foot, a very small arabesque, two backwards steps, and a half-turn switching feet to land in a plie with tendu. (Whew!) Luckily, my little friend brought me into the extra studio room after class and she pretended she was the teacher. First, she showed me side by side how to do it. (And didn't complain when I asked her to do it several more times with me.) Then, she sat in the teacher's chair and played teacher. She helped me with it some more next to me, and another girl came in to work on it with us. I lingered a bit in the hallway as everyone was leaving, practicing this step so I could work on it this weekend, with four days in between classes. And I pretty much have it down! I'm SO glad my friend showed me. It's one of those things I am definitely going to have to do over and over to pick it up (and that's before actually making it look somewhat pretty), but I have the steps in my head in the right order, and that's half the battle.

So yes, totally psyched about ballet! I'm definitely not ready for the next level, and am definitely fine staying in this one until I'm ready to progress. I'm going to try not to rush my progress and rush getting into the next class, for I know that the longer you work on your basics, the better a foundation you'll have (especially once en pointe- provided I make it that far, which I do hope!)

My self-teaching has definitely helped me. One thing I've been doing incorrectly, though, has been my rond de jambes en dedans- my toe is supposed to come more in front of the toe of my standing leg, so I'll be relearning that some. I've also been using third instead of fifth, but we work from fifth even though none of us have 180* turnout.

So yep, that's how my first two classes have gone. I love going, I'm already getting more comfortable, I already have something new to work on (oh, plus some port de bras in the different stage positions, if I can remember... along with terminology- she quizzes the little girls on that a lot, and they stumble over it), and I'm definitely more motivated now to stretch!

First class today!

I'm so excited, and nervous, and excited and nervous! All of these what-ifs going through my head. Anxiety because I don't know yet how I will get into my ballet outfit... I think I am going to have to stop by home on the way to the doctor appointment (I do have one today) and put on my leotard and tights, with my cute VS sweats over it all. My appointment is over around 3:45, but class doesn't start until 5. But I do need to be there a bit early, to register and what-not. Should I just head to my therapist early (I usually get out earlier if I do) and THEN head home to change and get ready? If not, what do I spend that extra time on after I leave the doctor? I don't know if I will have time to run back home, and I don't want to get there TOO early, although they do let observers watch, and I could see the grade before me. I'd really like to stretch- if I get there early enough can I actually stretch inside the building, or am I supposed to be already warmed up when I get in there? I very much dislike having so many questions- I get myself all wound up and anxious! And oddly, it's always these little silly before-event intricacies and etiquette that get me worried. If anything, I should be a little worried about my actual class and whether or not I will be able to keep up, but I'm so wound up with the other things, I'm not so worried about class! I figure: my teacher did NOT seem like my doing YouTube videos was anything close to doing real ballet (she doesn't know I was studying a ton as well), and so she is assuming I know nothing about ballet. And while I do agree that I pretty much know nothing about ballet, I do at least know positions, movements, what it's like to be at the barre, and how much I don't like center :) So I think I will be a little bit ahead of what she expects, and thus I should be able to keep up with the class. Also, what about my MDM ballet shoes? Is she going to notice I have split soles and say something about how I should have full soles? Should I show her before class or just wait until she mentions it? Or show her after, if she does say something?

What I'm really, really hoping for is that this class will be quite a bit too easy. The next grade (10-year-olds, 3rd year) fits my schedule so much better, but I could still take some of these classes as well. I won't be able to take the grade before this one; it's just too early. But wow, three years of ballet sounds like soooo much. Already, as I've mentioned, these girls I'll be with have had 1.5 years of ballet.

STOP, MIND!

Dear Me,
Whatever happens is exactly how it is supposed to happen! You'll figure out the clothes situation. You'll get there on time. Even if you go in totally cold and there is no warm-up, take it easy and you'll know next time, and you'll also know if you can warm up in the building (which would be ideal). You will be fine with the nine year olds. You will be able to keep up. Even in the center. And even if you don't keep up so well in the center, just give it your best shot and spend your focus just trying to remember the general idea of the steps, especially names.

It doesn't matter if the class is too easy. Worry about this class only for right now. Other classes can and will come when you're ready. Either way, you can definitely watch the older girls, the next grade, who will be starting as we end.

Don't forget your notepad and pen for notes during/after class! And yes, your leotard plus underwire sports bra is modest enough. It's packed, as are both shoes (MDM and full-sole) and deodorant and if there's anything else you need, you'll know next time.

YOU GOT THIS!
Love,
Me

Inspiration

Real Ballet!

I've been putting something off partially because I'm a bit scared. Today, I finally went through with it. I went to the nicest ballet school we have in town and spoke to the director herself about taking classes. And guess what... starting the week of January 5th, I can start taking Level II classes twice a week!!

There was a real sense of finality to going in today. I've been avoiding it for quite awhile. I knew the adult class I took before would be more laid-back than regular ballet classes, so it wasn't that intimidating (other than getting over my fear of new social happenings). But this school, this is the real deal.

The director told me I could probably keep up with the Grade II girls. (The info sheet says they are around 9 years old.) She said that although they have had ballet for a year and a half now, as an adult, I should be able to keep up. (Note: This is a class I was debating on whether or not I would be put into it. The classes start at 5 on Tuesdays and Thursdays, which is the time I normally get off of work. So I am going to have to work on my schedule, and get off earlier than I am supposed to. Considering I have doctor appointments very often, my bosses have gotten used to my leaving early, so I hope to just slide this on in there. Plus, I will work lunch on those days... and I'm going to try to start going in earlier after the new year anyway.)

The director was very nice (though she and the other lady in the office kinda scoffed when I mentioned I'd been watching YouTube videos. I knew that would happen, but I do think there is a difference in watching some YouTube videos and actually studying the moves the videos are doing, getting other input to make sure they're being done correctly. I guess I'll see how much they've actually taught me soon). Short lady, short hair, small frame, quite ballet-like. She's got some experience at the Joffrey School and another one or two I recognize. I told her about the adult ballet class I took, and how it was more of a social event. She said that this wasn't like that: the girls behaved well, and she teaches everyone as though they are working towards being professional, even though most won't actually go that way. So everyone likely dances with more of a professional attitude, and I'm sure she works them pretty hard. This is exactly what I was wanting/hoping for/scared of! :)

The classes are going to be kinda expensive for me, especially since it's not a drop in thing but a monthly deal... and I will be taking two classes a week instead of one. But it's not too bad, considering. Only $90 for two hours a week. The Tuesday class also ends early enough for me to head on over to the class I've already tried (once the real instructor gets off maternity leave so the class is under control!), should I decide twice a week just isn't enough. (I also have a few classes in the other town about an hour away I can take, even one on Saturday, which is a good day for me to get out of town. I'll start with these two a week, and if I love it, I am going to add more. The more I can do, the closer I am to [hopefullymaybeoneday] going en pointe!)

So, she was very welcoming, and even sounded a little excited about me coming to class (unlike some of my other experiences *looking down their nose* "We only allow 14 and under", as if that's a real school!). She told me she would put me in between two of the girls who have been there longer and are more experienced so that I can follow them on both sides when we do barre.

I've been working on center exercises with Finis Jhung. These are almost certainly going to be more difficult for me than barre. I mostly get the hang of barre now (as best as I can not really having had any actual classes). The only center exposure I have right now is about three minutes in the class I took (where I did terribly), a few steps at a time with Finis, and very basic center with Tamra Chace.

But this is it! This is what I've been wanting! I can come up with the money (by buying fewer ballet outfits, haha). I can work it out with my work schedule. I can get the nerve to actually go. And, provided I really do love it as much as I am truly hoping, I'm on my way to being... a late ballerina! (Okay, well "ballerina" in my head, anyway.)

Oh, one more thing. The director is the founder of the primary ballet company in town. If I do well, one day, I just might be able to join! She seems like she wouldn't discriminate based on my age (the other schools I've called wouldn't let me take classes with younger people, but she didn't think twice). That's way down the road, if ever, but so are pointe shoes (worn with permission!) and I'm aiming for those! Shoot for the moon!

WOOOHOOOOOO!

(And now, time for ballet. This week I have not done nearly as much as I've wanted to! My mountain trip went marvelously, by the way. I did get some hiking in, but other than that and about an hour or so of ballet, I was just too damn relaxed to do much of anything else... and it was great!)

Ballet with Kathryn Morgan, Online Ballet Classes

I'm really taking my time going through Tamra Chace's online ballet classes. She doesn't have many, and those were put out a couple of years ago, with no more new ones since then. I have one or two that I haven't done or haven't done all the way through. I really like what she has out- it's taught me so much, and I repeat classes over and over.

I'm starting to need a little more difficulty, though, so I decided to start trying Kathryn Morgan's online ballet classes. She used to dance for the NYCB, so that's pretty cool. I tried half of the easy ballet barre class a couple of evenings ago, but wasn't into it. After a warmup and about 3/4 a class with Chace, I picked up where I'd left off on Morgan's easy ballet barre class.

I have to say, my first impression of the class included a bit of... irritation! Not because she isn't a good instructor, but because of the way she speeds through what we will be doing! It reminds me of watching the Royal City Ballet's class, where their teacher calls out what sounds like a few hundred ballet movements and everyone incredibly remembers every single thing that he said and the order it was said (and he doesn't even really do movements as an example). Ballerinas are inhuman!

So Morgan goes through at least one or two of the movements (that are repeated front, side, back, side, usually) completely (as in all of the front and second) then quickly through the rest (back, side, etc). But then she repeats what the movements are without moving, rattling them off like the RCB's instructor! My first thought was, "OMG, how am I going to DO this?????!!" "OMG, how do you expect me to DO this?????!!"

But once I got past my initial rebellion of doing something new, and I did some rounds along with Morgan, I started getting into it. It's definitely more difficult than Chace's- Chace is more of a very beginner's/basic technique style, while Morgan expects you to already know the movements... Guess what?! I DO know the movements now! I haven't honed in very well on my technique, of course, but I know what to do when she says relevé, battement dégagé, sur le cou-de-pied, or rond de jambe en l'air! (I haven't gotten to jumps and turns yet, besides a hint of piroutte attempts, so I don't know those other terms, and I'm also just now learning movement and that terminology, such as de côté.)

My timing on moving along to her class is perfect- I'd watched it briefly when I first started and there was no way I was going to be able to keep up. But now I more or less am able. I have trouble with the faster movements, like a fast battement dégagé or a one-beat rond de jambe, but that's good! It gives me something to work on and work towards, changing things up some.

Today, I discovered a website where you can actually take live ballet classes online! Kathryn Morgan actually offers some of these, and I think I am going to sign up for a class soon! I LOVE this idea! (It looks like you use your webcam so she can see what you're doing and give feedback!) There are some other ballet-oriented type classes, like yoga-ballet, but I haven't seen any other pure-ballet instructors. (A lot of the ballet-type classes are held during the day, no good if you work normal business hours.)

I also came across this subscription-based online class site (multiple dance forms, not sure if there are enough videos to justify several month's worth of subscriptions, but possibly a month or two, especially if you're interested in like lyrical or contemporary) and Mary Helen/Ballet Beautiful has live classes you can take (lots of classes scheduled, at various times (great even if you work 9-5), but they are expensive ($35/class or $280/month unlimited) and more importantly (to me, anyway), I'm not sure if it's actual ballet she is teaching or if it's more of a ballet-style workout (like her Ballet Beautiful DVD is, I think).

I may do some of Mary Helen's free videos on YouTube, and once I feel like I can keep up (I don't do much aerobic activity), I will probably try a class. I would love for it to be strictly ballet, and not a "ballet workout". Swinging $35/class is a bit much for now, but if her classes are exactly what I want, there are enough classes that would fit into my schedule (judging by what she has posted now) that would justify spending $280/month... not now but in the future.

I shall post if and when I try anything else new! More to come on what I'm working on with Finis!

(P.S. I actually found another subscription-based site. They have a free plan, so I signed up to see what it was about.  I got absolutely nothing with my free subscription and I see complaints on their Facebook page, so I won't be giving them any money!)

"Floor Barre", Leg Extensions & Hips

I read a great article awhile back (I may have linked to it before, pdf), entitled "Functional Anatomy in Dance Training: An Efficient Warm Up Emphasizing the Role of the Psoas". In it is this picture, which has stuck in my mind since reading it:

Développé à la seconde. Incorrect placement of hip in left photo. Hip is raised. Corrected in the middle photo. Incorrect use of glutes in the third.

I've been working on this while doing ballet lately. I was pretty much convinced that a) my hips and legs just don't work like that or b) the only way I would ever be able to understand how to get my hips and legs like that would be one-on-one instruction from a professional.

Then I read a post (on one of the ballet forums) about floor barre. Apparently, the term "Floor Barre" is a registered trademarked technique that you may be able to find classes for, though they don't seem to be common in smaller cities. But- you should know me by now!- I'm not going to worry about flying or driving to some other city to learn Floor Barre. I'm going to teach myself! (So we'll say I'm just borrowing the term, uncapitalized,  to describe what I am doing, and it should not be taken to mean that I have ever had any class on the trademarked technique of "Floor Barre".)

A couple of nights ago, I decided to give my own version of floor barre a shot. I wanted to work on those things in the photo above. And what do you know? When I lie on my back I am able to bring my leg forwards and sideways without moving my hips! (It's so much easier to work on when all that pesky gravity isn't making extensions so difficult to do!) So now I know that my hips will allow my legs to raise properly; it can be done. My goal is to work on this while on the floor and hopefully gain muscle memory so I can perform the actions correctly while standing. I'm not quite sure what I'm doing differently, but with practice, I hope to understand (and be able to DO!).

Today's Ballet

Today's ballet went well (when I wasn't sneaking peaks at my eBay watch list to make sure Christmas gifts weren't being sold from under me!). Warmup, of course, then I picked up where I left off with Lesson 4 Barre. After that, I brought out Finis Jhung's easiest level center class. Popped it in the drive, check out the menu (that only says "Exercise 1" and so forth), go to the first exercise, and am immediately intimidated by what comes up:

Tendu, dégagé en en l'air, tombé en avant, arabesque balance

Say what? But of course Jhung breaks it down very easily, even reminding the viewer to take the first half beat to shift balance to the standing leg. I practiced that quite a few times- other than my boring one actual ballet class, and a little bit of pas de bourre with Tamra, I really haven't done a lot of movement across the floor. Most of what I've done has either been barre, or basically changing positions more or less in one spot. I'm glad that was my basis to work from, though, because I was definitely more stable on one leg, better able to balance on my working leg than I could have a few weeks ago.

The second one was more difficult for me to grasp- the arm movements were quite different than anything I've ever done with my arms, and I had trouble remembering which foot to start with if I wanted to go a particular direction (the movements were de côté, or "to the side"). I did that one quite a few times as well, but I think I ended up working my right side more than my left one. 

I can feel myself starting to just watch the movements being done by others and following along instead of actually learning it. For some reason I've always struggled a little with this. I think it's possible I need a little extra time than a lot of people learning motions with my body, because I remember being like this as a child, too. It always took me a little longer to pick something up, like a dance routine. I'm much more of a potential thinker than a kinetic doer, lol- basically, I over-think things, trying to form some sort of sense of something rather than just doing it and picking up the nuances over time and with repetition. Since others move faster than me, I guess I've made it a habit to just follow along with what they are doing instead of being able to really grasp what I'm doing. It's really a very different way of learning than what I'm used to, so of course I'm struggling some. (Not sure if all of that made sense...)

But anyway, even though the center work is challenging for me, I'm really enjoying it so far. (I enjoy challenging myself, especially my way of thinking!) It's now been about seven and a half weeks(!!) since I started teaching myself ballet, and I'm now starting to be able to see the foundation that I've been laying down the past almost-two months. There are still soooooo many details to learn, but I'm beginning to see a more holistic picture of ballet than just seeing steps I have to learn. The pieces are fitting together more now. It's really cool, and I'm really proud of myself, especially for sticking with it even through the lack of motivation I had just recently! (I normally would have stopped learning something at that point.)

My flexibility is improving, too, I'd like to add. I'm getting way more in touch with my body. I do a lot of normal stretching movements, but I also mix in different things, just going with the flow. If I'm leaning my chest down towards my knee, for instance, and I feel a tug in my back, I'll listen closely to my body and move in a way that gently stretches out that tug. Today, for instance, I was stretching my hamstrings and I felt a tight spot, so I got out one of my little hard bouncy balls, placed it under my leg, and moved it around until I found just the right spot. I gently pressed down into it... feeling it give a little... a little more... and then a release, a definite letting go that totally clears my mind for a few seconds and "wows!" me. Those moments are difficult to find, but when I do, it's just such a great feeling... tension that's built up in my body for years and years suddenly let go, vanished, vamoose!

Swayback/Lordosis

I have been using the terms "swayback" and "lumbar hyperlordosis" interchangeably. The terms may mean different things (IANAD- I am not a doctor!). But they are very similar and I don't know which one I have, but once I figure it out I will use the correct term.

And today's the day of my first ballet class! This evening will very possibly have a big impact on my life: if I love the class, ballet is possibly going to become even more important in my life. I will likely be spending even more time actually doing ballet- and more time and money getting to ballet class. (I'm already considering driving an hour or so to next Monday's ballet class in the other town that's nearby. It's an hour and a half long class- definitely more worth the two hour round-trip drive than just a one-hour class. It's also at that really awesome-sounding place that lets adults try out for the pre-professional level classes, the only one of the sort I have seen anywhere close by!)

Now, if I don't like it... I don't know. I don't know what will happen. Maybe I will see if I like the class out of town more, and just try to get there as much as I can. Maybe... if... what if I don't like ballet at all???

Ha, yeah, I worry too much. I'm sure it will go fine tonight. I hope so! (Maybe I will be able to move on to better posts as well... since I've already got nearly 50 posts on my ballet blog and yet I have never even taken a single ballet class! I may actually hate ballet! LOL)

I did all of Finis Jhung's DVD exercises at least once. (I like his rond de jambes too!) I watched the previews for a bunch of his videos and decided to just go ahead and exchange the beginner barrework for beginner center work. It seems to be "dancier". So that will be in soon. I should probably write a review here for the first one. I'll try to get to that.

Today's Classes

Year One Lesson 3 Center: Focusing on keeping turnout with rond de jambes. Working on graceful port de bras including my head movements. Have switched from a fifth to third. <-- Those were my notes in between movements. Regarding the last one, I've been reading here and there that if you don't have a full fifth position, you can instead substitute it for third to get cleaner lines. So I was trying that today.

The one thing I really have trouble with on that class is the battement tendu jete. This is what they look like done slow, but in this class, the music is fast, and we do a battement tendu jete on each count. This is supposed to be a center exercise, but due to how fast the movements are, I find it very hard to balance. So I hold onto my barre while doing it (and STILL have trouble, especially with getting any kind of articulation of the movement going!)

Year One Lesson 5 Barre: This is the second time I've done this class all the way through. I LOVE IT. The beginning starts off dull, routine. Both times, after about three exercises (both sides), I'm bored and about to switch to something else. And then, suddenly, the rest of the exercises are fun and/or challenging (yet not overly so).

I think my current favorite exercise is what Tamra says is preparation for a rond de jambe. I think one of the reasons I like it is because it incorporates the arms, and it all feels very fluid and "ballet-like" to me. It starts in first, no preparation. 1) Plie in first, hand at waist (uh, first? still learning arms). 2) Still in plie, tendu to the front, arm/hand extend straight out in front. 3) While rising from plie, rond de jamb (move in a circular motion) to second while hand moves out and around with the foot to second position. 4) Close foot back to first, arm stays where it was in 3, then when you go back to number one, swoop the arm down to first. So there's a lot of arm swooping with rounded, circular leg movements.

After doing that for a few counts, it reverses. 1) Plie in first. 2) Plie still with tendu to the back. 3) Straighten body with rond de jambe from the back to second. 4) Close to first. But with all of this, the arms are doing what they were doing with the first movements, so now instead of the arm following the leg, it's going in opposition, then rounding out to meet in second.

(Note: It really helps me learn and remember things when I write it out and/or teach it to someone else. So I may be doing that some on this blog.)

Anyway, here is how what I just described looks like in motion.

After that comes full rond de jambes, starting with tendus from front, side back, close followed by the rond de jambes front. Then it goes backwards. After those exercises, fondus. I haven't liked them so much in the past, but in this video I enjoy those a lot more. A tendu is when you are in one of the positions (usually first or fifth), then you push the foot out in front of you (pushing with the heel) until the foot can't move out flat anymore and it keeps going while the foot eventually fully points, while the toes (at least the outer toes) are still on the ground.

Since you're supposed to be turned out all the time, when doing a tendu, ideally the top of the foot and the knee are pointed all the way out, i.e., if you're doing a tendu with the right foot, the top of the foot and kneecap should be facing the right wall due to outward hip rotation. And the tendu can be done a la seconde (second position), with the leg and foot to the side (top of foot and knee facing up or even behind), or it can be done in the back, with the top of the foot and knee ideally pointing towards that right wall (if right foot) or beyond.

A fondu is pretty much the same thing (although I'm sure there are a number of variations), but (in this particular class) it's like a tendu in the air. (Honestly, I could have avoided all of that and said it's basically sticking a pointed foot out in front of you. Or a flexed foot.) There are different ways to start it, but today: 1) plie, bring right flexed foot (knees always turned out!) up to lower calf muscle, 2) leg straightens out, foot points, both in the air. Repeat.

Both the tendu and the fondu can be done to the front, side, or back!

The other exercise I'm having fun with- I don't know what it's called. 1) First position. Plie. 2) Releve (rise up on the toes). Repeat, the on the 7th and 8th count, tendu to second, again, tendu to fourth, again, tendu to fifth, again, end with bringing feet in fifth on releve closer together, find your balance letting go of the barre, hold. (There's some sort of ending, but I just hold then lower down.) But the music is fairly fast, so it's bend down, bounce up, bend down, bounce up, and it just seems like a really "happy" movement to me. The first time I did it I really got into it and kinda felt like Pinkie Pie. (I never watch non-adult cartoons... until I discovered My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic!)

And finally, we end with one that I am pleased to say I have almost nailed: the pas de bourrée. (Click on the link to see what it's supposed to look like.) It means something like drunken walk or such. I can't even begin to describe it, but it's the most complex movement I think I've done so far, and like I said, I almost have it down! (Click here to see how we are ideally doing it/the way I nearly have down.) I think I'll end this post here- I have one more exciting thing to post.

A better day...

I think my theory was pretty dead-on: I took last night off from ballet, and just did a lot of body rolling. (Funnily, I think I am just going to roll for a few minutes and then those minutes turn into an hour or more! I love my foam roller!) Today, it took me awhile but I finally got SO into the ballet I was doing, and I was enjoying it so much. I was totally into it, totally focused, loving it, and refining my technique. Especially the ronde de jambs (en terre). Usually, I'm so focused on just getting my leg around that I neglect making sure I'm staying turned out, but today, I stayed very well turned out, and it seemed a lot easier today.

Speaking of turnout, my turnout this afternoon was way better than it has been. And I am almost certain it's from the rolling I've been doing. (Posted the previous yesterday 11/15. The rest today 11/16. So I'll be speaking about that day as "yesterday" from now on.) I did the thing where you hold your feet in 6th, go back on your heels, and turnout from there, supposedly a rough way of finding your real turnout. Well, yesterday when I did it, I went a noticeable difference outwards than usual, and I wasn't forcing it. It just happened!

Yesterday, I ended up doing The Ballet Workout (Lisa Maree), what I think is now my favorite class out of all of the online classes: Year One, Lesson 5 Barre (Tamra Chace) -only 25 minutes, but I always do both sides, making for at least 40 minutes plus I did several of my favorites twice or more on each side; some hip abduction exercises, Lisa Maree's Back Stretches, Follow Along Abs Workout (LM), and the 12-minute Splits Stretch by Psyche Truth. Plus some rolling. All in all, about 4 solid hours of ballet!

Today's ballet...

I found myself cutting things a little short last night. I expect perfection from myself, and the ability to do things days after learning, and that lack of patience is just not going to cut it. As an example, yesterday evening, I was working on doing some things on demi-pointe. Really basic stuff- tendus, plies, frappes. And it's HARD to balance on demi. I was at my barre, and I was getting frustrated at my lack of ability to let go without falling sideways.

I've also been working on Finis Jhung's first beginner DVD, and (too cool! I am sitting outside on my laptop, it's fall, and there's a huge flock of sparrows, the seem to be. They all got in two of the trees, and suddenly, they all TOOK OFF in two separate groups, one one way and the other the other, meeting up on another tree. The WHOOSH of their wings was absolutely incredible. My dog, an 8-month-old pit bull pup, is in awe!) he gets to doing some pretty complicated (for a beginner) moves. While doing the moves, he asks us to see if we can lift up just a bit on our heels- while already standing on one foot, and moving the other leg around. It's very difficult, though it LOOKS quite simple, and as I said, I expect way too much from myself and got frustrated when I wasn't able to do what he was asking.

I DID manage to do pretty well on the eight lesson on the DVD, which was the first time I really felt like I was "doing ballet". That one is complicated, too, and I only got it really well once, so I plan to go back soon and work on that until I really have it down.

I always start with Ballet Barre Workout by Lisa Maree on YouTube. As of right now, today's workout, I am on a quick break from Beginner Ballet Year One Lesson 3 (Center) with Tamra Chase. I like the center work because it is still difficult but not impossible for me to do. Even some of her barre work I still do not have the strength to do. But I'm really working on my form today and some of the lesson I skipped over before I am now working on really getting down (like the epaulments and port de bra en face and en croix).

This is supposed to be fun for me, and I need to get over the fact that it can be monotonous. This has always been my problem before: I learn some to be able to say I've done it, but when it comes to perfecting, refining the technique, I get bored and move onto something else. (This is a theme in my life.) But I still REALLY want to get more flexible and graceful, I really want to eventually get on pointe (yes, I know there are no promises and maybe I shouldn't make that a goal- especially considering I've never even had an actual live class, but it is), I really want to be able to hold beautiful poses, and I'd really love to perform even something small one day. I've always lacked self-discipline in my life, and through ballet, I hope to gain that.

DIY Ballet Barre, Beginning progress photos (demi-pointe, turnout, doming)

Just wanted to post a few photos I've been meaning to. First of all, my barre setup (the mirror is low enough that I can see my feet while at the barre, of course, and it is tall enough that I can see my arms raised to my wrists, but I can't see my hands unless I move away from the barre. I'm 5'3" and this mirror is 48"x30" and sits 17" above the floor. The barre is about 12" from the wall.):

Was really simple to do, and cost under $20 (for the barre). (Be sure to get anchor screws if you're not screwing into studs! Preferably the heavy duty ones.) The brackets were around $4 each and the dowel rod was cut to the right size for my space (3"). It was $8- I went for the more expensive one because it was smoother. There's a screw underneath the dowel so it doesn't move too much. I happened to have a mirror the perfect size for my space but used one of the cheap door mirrors before I got that one up. (You could take two of those mirrors- I think it'd fit- and take the frame off, then hang the mirrors up side by side. In the middle, when aligning the clear plastic mirror things, line up the left one so it's flush with the right one right above it so you can get the mirrors as close together as possible, with a minimal gap.)

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instead of:

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(so you have one plastic hanger apart instead of two.)

And I started taking progress photos last week. These were taken on the 20th. I will put the ones up that I took today- I can already see progress! Here's my demi-pointe on October 20th:

Here's my turnout on October 20th:

And here's my "doming" (yes, I know my toes are curled here. They were much less curled in today's pictures- a work in progress):