Skipping (part of) a grade...

I AM SO STOKED! Here's what happened recently:

I've been going to class pretty consistently, and was really liking the second level I've been in. I pretty much knew what was going on and was able to really focus on technique, as it's the class that I originally took before (starting, again, in the middle of the year). The class was super full, though. I never went on an evening when everyone was there, but if I had, I would not have been able to drop-in.

So, the administration lady speaks to me about moving to the next level. Honestly, I felt a bit pressured to do so. I chose to take the level I was taking for a reason. I couldn't commit to the next level at the beginning of the year, and I felt starting halfway through, I'd just be totally lost. But she was really encouraging me to, as the level I'm in has far fewer students.

I just couldn't do it Tuesday. It took hours for me to get up the nerve to get dressed and go to school. Even with my anxiety, I was extremely tense and nervous. I did NOT want to be way behind everyone else. So I speak with the instructor, and she doesn't mind if I take the class, but she reiterates that she is not going to hold up the class just for me. Sure, I totally understand that, but the second time she said it, I felt a little challenged... which was good.

I went in there and nailed it! Okay, my form wasn't anywhere near good, and my pas de bourres, echappes, and assembles were a mess. I had no clue what they were doing with the pirouette business... I was taught how to (technically, if not in reality) do one in a class in a different school, but that was the whole deal. This method breaks things down into quarter turns- which makes sense, but wasn't what I expected.

Oh, and to top it off! Before class started, and I'd made it inside the studio with the other students, I confessed I was terrified and they were all going to be so far ahead of me. Keep in mind these kids are about ten years old. They were so sweet! They encouraged me to follow them, helped me out with one of the across-the-floor moves we were doing, and everyone told me afterwards what a great job I had done!

The best part of this, though, is that I totally faced my fear and conquered it. I did so much better than I expected. In the other class, and I realized this, I wasn't really pushing myself. I'd done it before. But with this one, I'm really going to need to work hard to catch up. It's not going to take long to finish memorizing the barre work, since most of it is what we'd ended with before. But the center "jumps"- the ones I've been procrastinating on- I'm going to really need to start tackling those in my gym/barre-room time.

Speaking of the gym, I'm very happy and proud to say I've started going back this week! Arms one day, legs another- the latter followed by some ballet, until my legs just gave out on me.

Things are going pretty sweet here on my end! I really needed to take this class, to inspire me to push myself. If I'm not challenged, I usually can't put my heart & soul into it.

One last thing that, of course, I have to mention. Moving up a grade puts me one year closer to earning my pointe shoes! I'm having trouble understanding the levels listed on the website, but I think I will start one year from this Fall. OMGOMGOMG!

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Juanita De Los Santos

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Photos for more inspiration!

Southeastern Regional Ballet Association - Photo by Richard Calmes http://www.pbase.com/rcalmes. Via Pinterest.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Elevé Dancewear (@elevedancewear) on Instagram: “Looking forward to this week • Photo by @darianvolkova Model @ionovaworld Via Pinterest.

<< "La danse n'a plus rien à raconter : elle a beaucoup à dire" ... © Maurice Béjart>> Via Pinterest.

And because you know I'm obsessed with ballet feet...

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Bruna Santana Via Pinterest

Lacking Discipline

I knew this time would come; I've mentioned it here several times: the time when I find myself seriously lacking discipline. I wasn't sure exactly the form: I am, at least, taking ballet classes twice a week. And I do usually arrive an hour early to warmup. But my home practice, including stretching, has pretty much dropped down to nil.

I mentioned it to my boyfriend last night, that I just can't seem to find the motivation to practice at home. And he reminded me: I need to discipline myself. Yes, that's exactly what I need. Today is Saturday, and I have it all to myself (besides taking my pup to the park and for a walk around the park). And today, I am going to get in a good ballet session at home, including working on the things we do in class (including our new pas de bourre over and under) and getting in some stretching.

For now to finish my coffee and get motivated with some YouTube.

Parent's Night, Remembering Class

So my last class proved to be quite different from normal classes. I somehow skipped the memo that it was parent's night. (I think it was actually on the paper that we were given something-something-parent's-something-parking-parent's, whatever, it didn't seem to pertain to me at the time.) I was settling in on the floor as the girls were positioning themselves, and I was starting in on my ankle rolls (god, those still hurt!) and the parent's were coming in and sitting in the chairs. "Is it parent's night?" I asked my little red-headed friend. She nodded her head. "Oh! I'm a little nervous now!" I told her, and she giggled at me.

So there we were, on the floor under the barre, doing our ankle rolls, myself towering above all the others (and I'm not in bad shape, but when surrounded by little nine-year-olds with pretty much no fat on their bodies, I look like a big, fat giant next to them!) One of the parents is staring at me, and I stare back at her, but it was an odd stare standoff because I knew she was staring and she knew I knew she was staring but she wasn't quite making eye contact with me, just staring at my face somewhere. While still staring at me, she asked the instructor something, who replied "oh, no, she's a student!" and then they kept talking, but too low for me to hear, and the lady kept staring at me! So that was a little awkward and I'd love to know what was said. At least one of the other parents looked impressed and said something about "exercise", but that was all I heard. All in all, I'm really glad there were no fathers there, because I would definitely have felt awkward.

I happened to have on my most modest leotard, thank goodness, and I'd also not forgotten to put on my silicone nipple covers (I just ordered more- those are sooooo handy! My first class got very weird when I noticed my nipples were shining through). I even had on a sports bra I usually don't wear, because the wide crossed straps in the back are obvious, but on this night I was glad for the extra modesty. (Don't get me wrong, I'm never ever dressed inappropriately- I won't even wear a camisole, remember? But a couple of leotards are a little lower in the front, which only proves a slight problem when we lay on the floor for our back exercises, and I have to be sure to pull the neck up a touch or the slightest cleavage will show.) I'd also happened to take a bit of extra anxiety medication, so it didn't go too bad.

I did get called out a little more than normal, but that was okay- I was doing things incorrectly. I kinda blew a few things in the center. When we do center, I usually have to follow the one girl who is very good, or another one of the girls if she isn't in front of me. The slower movements like our arabesques go fine enough, but with the faster-paced things (like pas de bourres), it can take me a few beats to figure out what we are doing. On this night, though, it took me more than  a few beats when I messed up, and I had more trouble than usual on center. But I didn't let it bring me down! I was glad when class was over, though, and made my way out quickly after curtseying to our wonderful instructor.

So today is Saturday and I am trying to go through in my head what we do in class and write it down so I can work on it. I know we do plie, tendu, degage... and then the order gets hazy for me. I do know we also do ronde de jamb and frappes... and then it gets very hazy. I'm thinking we do passé developpe but there is also something before that, two somethings I can't quite think of... Oh, awesome. I'd been looking at that linked video in a playlist and came across one of the movements: it's just a passé. So that comes before the passé developpe. Now for the other I can't remember. It's like the passé but our leg doesn't come up into retire. So I'm just missing one for barre (although I'm not sure the proper preparation for each of them), and our last one is, I believe, an echappe sous-sus? It's done facing the barre, 1) spring up from fifth to sous-sus 2) spring back down to fifth 3) echappe? (both feet go out away from each other) 4) spring back down to opposite fifth... spring up, don't change fifth, spring out, change fifth, etc.

Center, of course, gets more difficult, and it changes up. But I know we do: our arabesques, positions of the body on stage, the echappe sous-sus or whatever we do at the barre but in the center, and our port de bras, which I allllmost have down. I'm going to try those today because I like them and I really want to have them down without having to watch the other girl. (I'm sorry, friend! I know it must be awkward to constantly have a grown-up staring at you and trying to follow along, especially if you make a mistake that's highlighted because two of us are doing it!)

So yep, that's where I'm at today. Still not having time to practice every night, but I'm working on getting more and more stretching and/or exercises in during the week.

Today's Ballet

Today's ballet went well (when I wasn't sneaking peaks at my eBay watch list to make sure Christmas gifts weren't being sold from under me!). Warmup, of course, then I picked up where I left off with Lesson 4 Barre. After that, I brought out Finis Jhung's easiest level center class. Popped it in the drive, check out the menu (that only says "Exercise 1" and so forth), go to the first exercise, and am immediately intimidated by what comes up:

Tendu, dégagé en en l'air, tombé en avant, arabesque balance

Say what? But of course Jhung breaks it down very easily, even reminding the viewer to take the first half beat to shift balance to the standing leg. I practiced that quite a few times- other than my boring one actual ballet class, and a little bit of pas de bourre with Tamra, I really haven't done a lot of movement across the floor. Most of what I've done has either been barre, or basically changing positions more or less in one spot. I'm glad that was my basis to work from, though, because I was definitely more stable on one leg, better able to balance on my working leg than I could have a few weeks ago.

The second one was more difficult for me to grasp- the arm movements were quite different than anything I've ever done with my arms, and I had trouble remembering which foot to start with if I wanted to go a particular direction (the movements were de côté, or "to the side"). I did that one quite a few times as well, but I think I ended up working my right side more than my left one. 

I can feel myself starting to just watch the movements being done by others and following along instead of actually learning it. For some reason I've always struggled a little with this. I think it's possible I need a little extra time than a lot of people learning motions with my body, because I remember being like this as a child, too. It always took me a little longer to pick something up, like a dance routine. I'm much more of a potential thinker than a kinetic doer, lol- basically, I over-think things, trying to form some sort of sense of something rather than just doing it and picking up the nuances over time and with repetition. Since others move faster than me, I guess I've made it a habit to just follow along with what they are doing instead of being able to really grasp what I'm doing. It's really a very different way of learning than what I'm used to, so of course I'm struggling some. (Not sure if all of that made sense...)

But anyway, even though the center work is challenging for me, I'm really enjoying it so far. (I enjoy challenging myself, especially my way of thinking!) It's now been about seven and a half weeks(!!) since I started teaching myself ballet, and I'm now starting to be able to see the foundation that I've been laying down the past almost-two months. There are still soooooo many details to learn, but I'm beginning to see a more holistic picture of ballet than just seeing steps I have to learn. The pieces are fitting together more now. It's really cool, and I'm really proud of myself, especially for sticking with it even through the lack of motivation I had just recently! (I normally would have stopped learning something at that point.)

My flexibility is improving, too, I'd like to add. I'm getting way more in touch with my body. I do a lot of normal stretching movements, but I also mix in different things, just going with the flow. If I'm leaning my chest down towards my knee, for instance, and I feel a tug in my back, I'll listen closely to my body and move in a way that gently stretches out that tug. Today, for instance, I was stretching my hamstrings and I felt a tight spot, so I got out one of my little hard bouncy balls, placed it under my leg, and moved it around until I found just the right spot. I gently pressed down into it... feeling it give a little... a little more... and then a release, a definite letting go that totally clears my mind for a few seconds and "wows!" me. Those moments are difficult to find, but when I do, it's just such a great feeling... tension that's built up in my body for years and years suddenly let go, vanished, vamoose!

Today's Classes

Year One Lesson 3 Center: Focusing on keeping turnout with rond de jambes. Working on graceful port de bras including my head movements. Have switched from a fifth to third. <-- Those were my notes in between movements. Regarding the last one, I've been reading here and there that if you don't have a full fifth position, you can instead substitute it for third to get cleaner lines. So I was trying that today.

The one thing I really have trouble with on that class is the battement tendu jete. This is what they look like done slow, but in this class, the music is fast, and we do a battement tendu jete on each count. This is supposed to be a center exercise, but due to how fast the movements are, I find it very hard to balance. So I hold onto my barre while doing it (and STILL have trouble, especially with getting any kind of articulation of the movement going!)

Year One Lesson 5 Barre: This is the second time I've done this class all the way through. I LOVE IT. The beginning starts off dull, routine. Both times, after about three exercises (both sides), I'm bored and about to switch to something else. And then, suddenly, the rest of the exercises are fun and/or challenging (yet not overly so).

I think my current favorite exercise is what Tamra says is preparation for a rond de jambe. I think one of the reasons I like it is because it incorporates the arms, and it all feels very fluid and "ballet-like" to me. It starts in first, no preparation. 1) Plie in first, hand at waist (uh, first? still learning arms). 2) Still in plie, tendu to the front, arm/hand extend straight out in front. 3) While rising from plie, rond de jamb (move in a circular motion) to second while hand moves out and around with the foot to second position. 4) Close foot back to first, arm stays where it was in 3, then when you go back to number one, swoop the arm down to first. So there's a lot of arm swooping with rounded, circular leg movements.

After doing that for a few counts, it reverses. 1) Plie in first. 2) Plie still with tendu to the back. 3) Straighten body with rond de jambe from the back to second. 4) Close to first. But with all of this, the arms are doing what they were doing with the first movements, so now instead of the arm following the leg, it's going in opposition, then rounding out to meet in second.

(Note: It really helps me learn and remember things when I write it out and/or teach it to someone else. So I may be doing that some on this blog.)

Anyway, here is how what I just described looks like in motion.

After that comes full rond de jambes, starting with tendus from front, side back, close followed by the rond de jambes front. Then it goes backwards. After those exercises, fondus. I haven't liked them so much in the past, but in this video I enjoy those a lot more. A tendu is when you are in one of the positions (usually first or fifth), then you push the foot out in front of you (pushing with the heel) until the foot can't move out flat anymore and it keeps going while the foot eventually fully points, while the toes (at least the outer toes) are still on the ground.

Since you're supposed to be turned out all the time, when doing a tendu, ideally the top of the foot and the knee are pointed all the way out, i.e., if you're doing a tendu with the right foot, the top of the foot and kneecap should be facing the right wall due to outward hip rotation. And the tendu can be done a la seconde (second position), with the leg and foot to the side (top of foot and knee facing up or even behind), or it can be done in the back, with the top of the foot and knee ideally pointing towards that right wall (if right foot) or beyond.

A fondu is pretty much the same thing (although I'm sure there are a number of variations), but (in this particular class) it's like a tendu in the air. (Honestly, I could have avoided all of that and said it's basically sticking a pointed foot out in front of you. Or a flexed foot.) There are different ways to start it, but today: 1) plie, bring right flexed foot (knees always turned out!) up to lower calf muscle, 2) leg straightens out, foot points, both in the air. Repeat.

Both the tendu and the fondu can be done to the front, side, or back!

The other exercise I'm having fun with- I don't know what it's called. 1) First position. Plie. 2) Releve (rise up on the toes). Repeat, the on the 7th and 8th count, tendu to second, again, tendu to fourth, again, tendu to fifth, again, end with bringing feet in fifth on releve closer together, find your balance letting go of the barre, hold. (There's some sort of ending, but I just hold then lower down.) But the music is fairly fast, so it's bend down, bounce up, bend down, bounce up, and it just seems like a really "happy" movement to me. The first time I did it I really got into it and kinda felt like Pinkie Pie. (I never watch non-adult cartoons... until I discovered My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic!)

And finally, we end with one that I am pleased to say I have almost nailed: the pas de bourrée. (Click on the link to see what it's supposed to look like.) It means something like drunken walk or such. I can't even begin to describe it, but it's the most complex movement I think I've done so far, and like I said, I almost have it down! (Click here to see how we are ideally doing it/the way I nearly have down.) I think I'll end this post here- I have one more exciting thing to post.