I just couldn't stay away...

...Ballet is now in my heart!

Hello, lovelies! It's been over two years since my last post. Life happened, and ballet classes became difficult, but it hasn't left my heart!

I made a move in December 2015, and while there was a ballet class option for me as an adult, it was about a 45 minute drive one-way- a tough prospect even without the inevitable depression swings! I did make it to two or three classes. They were so much different from the classes I've normally taken. There was a lot more work on different combinations, but a lot less work on proper technique. It was definitely a lot of fun- it felt far more "dance-y" than usual, but I didn't really like that I had to focus so much on remembering what I was supposed to be doing that I couldn't work on form. I did, however, learn how to do a pirouette... technically, anyway! ☺

Fast forward to summer of 2017 and we come to my being back in my hometown. I hadn't been here long before it was time to register for fall classes at my favorite school, and circumstances were that I just couldn't yet make the commitment to attend class twice a week, so I didn't enroll. What I did do was get myself a gym membership, and I'm proud to say I've been pretty regular at going to the gym! Even better: my gym offers a Barre class (yuck, I tried it)... which means... they have BARRES in the studio, attached to the walls! Guess who has added some very basic ballet to her gym routine?

Now, I don't know if they changed their website, or if I somehow missed it (more likely), but I was drooling over the school's website one day, and I happen across this statement:

Adult students who are unable to attend on a regular basis may pay for individual classes.

Say whatttt??!! I could have been taking classes all that time without worrying about whether or not I missed occasionally?

So, of course, I made it to the next available class! I'd be too behind in the grade I've graduated to, so I took the class in the same grade I'd taken two years ago. I spoke with one of the administration and paid my drop-in rate. My class was going to be in a different studio, with a different instructor. Said instructor was surprised to see an adult in her class- "You spoke to admin? And they said it was okay? Well, okay...."

I also had to deal with my young classmates (8-9 years old or so) being surprised at having such an old lady (haha) taking a class with them. That part is weird for the first class or three- it's like they're either in awe of me, or terrified of me, or both! I've forgotten a lot of the steps, but I had a general idea of what I was doing. I found some of the little girls were sort of looking to me to follow, while I was looking towards another little girl to follow! I always try to be a really good student, because I'm really grateful to be able to take classes there even though I'm the only adult in the class, and one of the only ones in the school. I count out the steps or call out the movements the way we are supposed to when I remember, even though it's sometimes just me and the teacher doing so.

The huge highlight of my first class: one of my classmates asked me where I did ballet at. I told her I just took classes at the school. Her eyes grew big and she replied, "wow! you're really good!" That was awesome :)

Anyway, at the end of that class, they handed out the schedule to the Nutcracker rehearsals and such. I don't even know if I CAN be in the Nutcracker, and even if so, it wouldn't be this year, so I am waiting until the holidays are over, and starting classes again in January! I'm SO excited!

In other news, I'm tending to an injury of some sort, so I haven't even been to the gym in a week or so. I thought it was my hamstring, but it's flaring up to my rear end, so I'm pretty sure it's my sciatic nerve. I'm taking it really easy, babying it, icing it, and I tried compression when I thought it was just my hamstring. It doesn't seem to be getting better, though, and I don't know what to do :( I read to try and stretch out a sciatic nerve flare up, so I am going to try that again, but it didn't seem to help around the time I tried compression. I have a doctor appointment later this month, so if it's not feeling better by then, I will ask for help. I so badly want this to be healed by the time class starts back up!

Last thing: OMG, Instagram! All of these wonderful beginner (and more advanced) adult ballet students posting! Honestly, it's what inspired me to start writing in this blog again. the.pointer.sisters are currently my favorite ballet students to follow- more advanced than I which is so inspiring, and they always look like they are having such fun! Anyway, I haven't posted anything yet, but I plan on doing so soon, so please follow me @luvballetluv!

Actual last thing: I was very surprised to come back to see that I had a comment on my post about MDM ballet shoes- it meant someone's read this blog! At the time I read the comment, I couldn't find a US retailer of the shoes, but since then, it looks like they are once again available in the USA. I tried using them recently at the gym, which worked a couple of times, but the floor is really dirty there sometimes. I still really love the shoe, and feel like I get more of a foot workout with them than with normal full-sole shoes, so I may invest in a pair just for practice. (Currently using Bloch 205L, which are increasingly difficult to find.)

Ending with some beautiful photos:

My Ballet Life Update: Back to Class Soon!

So I've taken quite a break from ballet, which has been very discouraging for me. I've had a lot going on- most notably the continuing lack of energy I mentioned before. My doctor has me trying a new medication to help me stay awake; I'm still figuring out the best way to take the dosage I was given over the day (as a full dose once a day was too much for me, and anything else wears off quickly- but some combo of smaller doses throughout the day seems to be going well).

Unfortunately, I eventually gave up my exercising/ballet movements, simply because there wasn't enough time for me to do that with all the sleeping combined with a couple of other things I've been doing a bit obsessively in the little time I'm awake (reading YA dystopian fiction and sewing!). I believe I've also mentioned before that I have a tendency to be really motivated about an activity, only to lose motivation and interest for awhile (though my interest usually picks back up at some point- almost like I tend to cycle through my interests!). I decided to go ahead and do some other things, and maybe by the time the fall season was about to start, I'd be ready again.

I was right! I'm getting more and more into my ballet-obsession mode. I've been finding myself very discouraged about this... well, not that I'm getting into it again, but that I was doing so well and making a lot of progress (muscle tone and strength, balance, improving on my technique, flexibility), only to stop for so long, losing a lot of what I'd accomplished. (Did I mention how awesome my legs were looking, too?) But, I'm not going to let that bring me down anymore. I just came across a great positive affirmation for me at this small setback in my life:

DEAR SELF, 

THERE IS PLENTY OF TIME. 

LOVE, ME

Yes, I've lost the bit of flexibility that I'd gained from months of ballet and stretching. BUT that injury I incurred on myself awhile back has finally just about healed! (This was the first injury I've had in life that has shown me that I'm now at that age where my body simply doesn't heal as fast as it once did. Lesson learned: I'll be proceeding slower and with more caution now!) I just checked on it a week or so ago and still felt a bit of pain. Today's the first time I've been able to do even a minor stretch without it hurting, and that's awesome! I should be able to start a mild stretching routine on that leg; I'll give it a couple more weeks though to make sure.

Yes, I've lost much of the muscle tone I gained, especially in my legs. However, I still naturally have not-too-much fat on my body, and I DO still have some of the muscle tone and strength, so it shouldn't take quite as long to start seeing results again. That was the first time I've ever had my body so toned, and I love that I was actually able to do it, to get myself active enough to see results (when I've always had a tendency to some laziness and an aversion to most things considered "exercise"). I am going to get to this point again, yes, and I will also do it a bit differently this time. I really mostly focused on my lower body before. I've come to really understand how vital the core is to ballet, so the exercises I do at home will be more holistic this time around. 

So the big news in my life right now: I start ballet again next month- less than four weeks to go! I emailed my teacher to let her know I do want to start again this coming season and asked her what grade I should go to (i.e., did I graduate or not?). She told me I did indeed graduate and could come to the next grade's classes, a step up (where, hopefully, my little friends will be, too!). This time, however, I got approval to take both this new, more advanced grade AND the grade I was in. There are steps & movements I didn't get to learn from her the first time, and I found it difficult to pick up just by watching the others. I want to retake the grade so 1) I can learn from her some of what I didn't before, 2) I can keep working on my technique at a slower pace, 3) I'll build more muscle and flexibility with an extra class, and most importantly: 4) MORE BALLET. I'm so excited.

My classes start August 25. I plan to do much more blogging than these past few months once I'm back into it.

Some inspiration:

Still interested in ballet, still around!

So, I've had crazy stuff going on lately, and I've totally taken up sewing- which I am in love with, along with a bunch of other arts and crafts. Once I stopped going to ballet class, I kept up with working out (grande plies in both fifths work AMAZING for the upper legs!) for quite awhile- my legs are much more muscular than they've ever been.

Then depression started kicking in. Up until a few days ago, when I drastically lowered one of my medications, I was sleeping ALL the time. Go to work: sleep throughout the day. Go home: immediately crash and wake up the next morning to go back to work. The few days a week I was actually awake, I was working on my sewing- and still browsing Pinterest ballet pictures, wishing I had the energy to work on ballet some more.

I'm back on an upswing, it seems. Over the weekend, I added a couple of sets of plies and releves to my day. I've done a little bit more each day. Yesterday, I had something of a setback, that also has (hopefully) turned into something somewhat positive... Remember the injury I received from (idiotically) forcing my splits months ago? It was feeling a lot better, though not all the way. Last night I decided to try to stretch it some, and see how it went. I think I pushed just a bit too hard (and it wasn't all that much to begin with), so that it hurts this morning- not a good I've-stretched feeling but an "ow, this still isn't healed" feeling. It's been months! The fact that I'm getting older is starting to dawn on me more and more.

So what's positive about that? Well, I've been seeing some beautiful photos of ballerinas on pointe who DON'T have perfect splits or perfect turnout or this or that. And they're still beautiful. I wish I hadn't injured myself, but I did, and I have absolutely no choice but to let my body take as long as it needs to heal. So instead of being down on myself, I'm just going to go with the flow. The few movements I can't make with the injured leg aren't THAT big of a deal. (And frankly, it's not like I was going to get splits before the fall season!)

I can still work on splits with my other leg. And what's more, splits and that sort of stretching are pretty much the only thing I can't work on with that leg right now. On the positive side: I've been working on turnout quite a bit- sometimes even when I do absolutely nothing else. And my turnout seems to really be improving. I can FEEL the strength there deep inside my hips, and I can TELL that I'm rotating from there and not my knee. I'm getting more comfortable balancing in a larger turnout. And my injury isn't stopping me from working on that- which is probably much more important than splits anyway. (It's in a very close area, but the injury seems to be on the back side of that area, while working on my front side/rotator muscles doesn't touch it at all from what I can feel.)

So, I just wanted to check in, make a quick update. I've got lots to do the next few months. I'm still not sure what class I will get into next season. Either way is fine- I wouldn't mind being back in the same class so I can totally get down all of the things I was having trouble with because I never SAW it being taught. If I graduate and go into the next step up, that's great too- closer to pointe and I'll work extra hard to catch up on a few things, maybe take a couple of private lessons.

(Speaking of pointe- I've also totally still been working on my ankle, toe, and foot strength, and I'm seeing SUCH a difference, especially when I releve. The curve of my foot goes OVER my toes!)

Update: On Class Hiatus

So, I missed a Thursday class a few weeks ago- I was tired, or had plans, or something. The following week, my car nearly broke down and needed transmission work. Just breaking down a transmission itself is quite a time-consuming process... then they had to figure out what was wrong with it... order the parts... fix something else that my car had been recalled for that I'd forgotten about... fix the transmission... put it all back together. There was a big week-long event in town the first week, so car rental prices were absurd. By the second, I'd gotten used to just getting a ride to/from work and saved car rental money. But I had to miss two weeks of classes, on top of the Thursday I'd missed.

Had I gone back to class, they were just working on the demo I wouldn't get to be in, and I'd be quite behind on learning the moves. And after the demo, class is pretty much over. I've also found a new hobby I'm adoring, so I've decided to just go on hiatus until the next ballet season starts in the fall. That doesn't mean I'm not working at home; I'm just not going to class.

There's another reason as well. Remember the injury my silly self got by overdoing splits? I'm still injured. It doesn't hurt to move or anything, but the slightest stretching and I can totally feel it. I've decided I want that to heal totally before doing anything major with it. (I'm reading Dancing Through It by former NYCB principal dancer Jenifer Ringer, and one of her teachers told her, when she was injured, "The slower the recovery, the faster you recover", or something very similar. The book is fantastic, BTW. I just covered many pages while at the doctor's office today. I highly recommend it!)

And honestly, I haven't done a ton of ballet lately besides tendus, rond de jambes, other barre work- with a big exception: I've been going plie crazy! I noticed the slightest hint of extra muscle definition in my legs recently, and it has spurred me to do at least a little exercise every day. I like doing my plies in fifth, so I will usually do 15 on one leg here and then a little later do the other side, and keep doing that throughout the evening, or during the day if it's the weekend.

I also do a lot of leg lifts towards the back (ballet term not coming to me) to work on my butt, focusing on keeping my legs turned out. I do tendus and rond de jambes. I do a lot of ankle rolls and foot doming (many times throughout the day, every day) to work on my ankle strength. I do releves, including releves with either leg in passe (working on turnout!) I do this exercise every night on my problematic, non-turning-out, tibial torsioned leg. I do arabesques and other things. Occasionally, I do an online class. Non-ballet-style: all four on the floor, left leg up behind me then bring back down, also to work on my rear.

And I finally got nearly everything I need to make my rotation disks! I may have mentioned this before, but at my job, they install speakers. To install speakers in a box, they have to cut out circles. (The circles aren't perfect- it's difficult to cut a perfect circle with the tools they use... I mean it's perfectly circular but there's an extra cut in them that makes them kinda unsellable... maybe... hmmm....) They were going to throw away quite a few, so I grabbed them and came home and was able to nearly finish one. I can use it now, just the top is not attached. Getting the other screws and washers I need will be one of this weekend's projects!

One other thing: I realized last night that even though I don't really want to stretch my injured leg much at all, I can still stretch the rest of my body, even my other leg (duh!). So I am going to start stretching again, possibly yoga. (It's too bad I wasn't injured on my right leg. That one's naturally more flexible, and I could have worked on the left one catching up, but oh well!)

So that's where I'm at these days. Still loving ballet. Kinda regretting already not getting right back into class- I don't know where I will be placed when I go back (the girls should all be moving up a level), but either way is okay with me.

I might not be posting as often as I was, but I'm still "into" ballet and haven't lost my motivation as I'd feared I would. (Well, a touch, but not to where I am going to stop.) I'm still finding gorgeous photos online and will still be sharing those!

Frustration, slacking, end of the year demo

I've definitely been slacking in the ballet department... and blogging, too! I've gotten a touch frustrated with ballet lately. First of all, our class stops and starts a LOT, and the stopping tends to take forever. The kids I'm in class with have been doing ballet for nearly two full ballet years, but they still can't remember the basic terminology they've been doing every class, twice a week for those past two years. "xxx, what is a frappe?" Then we sit while the teacher shows the girl (or occasionally the one boy) what the movement is and tries to eek out the one-word definition from her. SO much of our class is spent doing this.

I skipped a Thursday two weeks ago and went this past Tuesday. Our class has started working on it's end of the year demonstration. I was stressing over whether or not I wanted to be in the demo, as my being an adult would stand out terribly on stage- yet, it would give me something to work towards and give me an opportunity to perform (no matter how poorly, haha!). Well, when I went to class Tuesday, our teacher told me and the other adult (the third only takes class once a week right now) that adults don't usually perform in the demonstration at the end of the year. That takes the dilemma of whether or not I do want to perform off the table (and on the plus side, the girls will be showing off their splits, and as we know, I cannot do a split- and yes, I'm still recovering from my outlandish attempt to do so!) But, well, I was actually leaning towards wanting to perform. I was going to invite my boyfriend and family to watch and everything. Thinking I would have the opportunity to do so was encouraging- I was coming home working quite a bit on my trouble areas, and improving. And now, it's a bit of a bummer, a bit of a discouragement, to know that I won't be able to perform.

Don't get me wrong- I can see the reasoning behind it. It's mostly a kids studio, and these kids have to be treated as though they will be professionals one day, while we all know us adults have long past that ability. It's just a bit of a drag, a bit of a let down.

On the plus side, since everyone is working on the demo, class is moving somewhat faster now, or at least it did Tuesday. We're dancing to different music, which has totally left me (and everyone else) confused, LOL. We didn't stop nearly as much to go over terminology, and DID stop to go over a move I was having trouble with. (I'm still having trouble picking up a few things. If the moves were taught before I started, those are the ones I really struggle with because I'm basically having to learn from others who often get it wrong. When I am shown the move correctly by the teacher, I usually have it down in no time.) On the downside, we also did a lot of practice sitting- sitting there very still so the kids could practice what they would have to do on stage (since they will perform, then sit on stage while others perform). I skipped Thursday's class as well.

I also realized there's no way I could do a summer intensive because, duh! I have a job.

I was going to cancel my Danceflix subscription, but now I think I'm going to keep it and start working more on the Finis Jhung series. I'm even considering dropping out of ballet until the next fall/new season begins. I think I will pick up a few more things first, then do that. And just work as I was doing initially- teaching myself at home. I now have a bunch of corrections to work on and when I checked out one of Finis's DVD sections the other day, which I haven't even looked at in months, it looks totally doable now that I have real class experience under my belt.

Edit: I forgot to add: I'm going to see a ballet this evening! It's being done by the school I took my first class from (the one where everyone was too busy chatting to ballet... though I may have to give that one another shot soon- hopefully the real instructor is off maternity leave by now). It is supposed to be their top-notch students, so hopefully *crosses fingers and points toes* this will give me the inspiration I need to get back to dancing!

Class tonight- hopefully back on track now

I'm so excited to have class again tonight. I pretty much missed most of February's classes, between my car accident and getting sick with a cold. Hopefully all of the hindrances are behind me and I can continue on without missing any more classes for awhile! I feel like it's disrespectful to the teacher, plus I'm finding I learn moves best when I am there the first time she introduces a new movement; otherwise, I'm trying to learn what I can from watching the other students (who may get it mixed up) and it's taking me a LOT longer to learn what has already been taught than what I have been there to see the first time. I'll apologize, of course... and mention that I've injured myself trying to do my splits... yes, it's healing but I can't put a lot of pressure on it now- I'm such a goofball!

Over the weekend I was feeling better and (I may have mentioned this already) worked on my arabesques and spotting. I've also worked some on my port de bras- my arms have not been very pretty, and I feel more "dance-y" when I think they look nice. I developed one of several (so far) bad habits from teaching myself: my arms in second I tend to place too far to the side of me, my elbows possibly even a little behind me. So I've worked on that some lately, too- even just passing by the mirror now and then. I also watched a couple of YouTube videos on arms in ballet, and again, my second hasn't been very correct: I'm now working on keeping the elbow more rounded, with my palms facing inwards along the line of the rest of my arm.

I hope I don't mess up my arabesques today! We do them with the working foot en terre the first time, and then raise it and hold it for a couple of counts in third arabesque. I've been practicing maintaining my balance. I need to get back to work on my turnout muscles because I am unable to hold an arabesque in the air with a very turned-out foot.

A little inspiration for the day:

 

Splits Injury. Lesson Learned: Don't Overdo It.

So, remember when I posted about how I'd come very, very close to doing my splits? Well, it's been about five days, and I would like to note that I definitely injured myself! It's nothing major, and I am positive it came from that loud "pop" I heard (in the exact same spot, and my other leg is not injured). I was not able to even work on much flexibility with that leg tonight- I spent that time instead working on it with a tennis ball and my foam roller.

I didn't attempt anything close to a split on the other leg, but I wonder if I've gotten more flexible on it. I wish that pop hadn't happened- I knew then and there it was extremely likely I'd done something wrong.

So, lesson learned: don't try the crazy stunts I pull on here for yourself, for injury can definitely occur!

Update 3/27/15: I am STILL recovering from this.