Ballet, exercise, discipline, more inspirational photos...

I ended up not staying the whole ballet yesterday. Honestly, I was quite tired and could not keep my eyes open, so when my daughter asked me if I wanted to go, as she and her girlfriends wanted to leave, I said yes. We left during intermission, and I got to meet the owners of the ballet studio since my daughter knows them well. It was a contemporary piece, and I was hoping more for classical.

Anyway, I'm recognizing I'm once again looking at ballet as a chore. I need to find the FUN in it again. Even on my "down" swings, I try to keep up with some exercises- like if I go to the kitchen, I will do ten plies while I'm in there. Since yesterday, though, I've amped it up a notch and have been working on my grand plies in fifth, both sides. Those are my most difficult, both because they take balance and they work my legs the hardest. I'm noticing some extra muscle coming, so that's inspired me to do those, at least. I usually hold onto something when I do them, but focus on engaging my core as though I'm doing them without holding on. My legs really ache, so it's great!

Here are some new photos I've come across today. I wanted to go ahead and post them while I have the names handy:

These three are Olga Esina and Eno Peçi, The Second Detail, Vienna State Ballet.

From: Ballet 422 (Magnolia Pictures)

Rachelle Di Stasio and Aran Bell, American Ballet Theatre Studio

Surviving Parent's Night, Today's Success at Discipline

Parent's Night
Just a quick note: my ballet practice today went wonderfully. Actually, let me back up: parent's night was lovely as well. My mom did attend, which was fun, and there weren't really but a couple of other parents there (including one with a super nice camera... please don't post my splits online or anywhere!) I messed up on quite a few things, but that was okay. We also have another adult, which makes for three of us now!

We go over terminology over and over and over again in class. For some reason, these kids just can't pick up the one-word definitions of "frappe", "petite", "degage", etc. I still have a few I mix up (frappe is one, actually), but for the most part, I know all of the definitions. So much of class, we all just stand there while the instructor calls out on of the kids who she knows struggles with the definitions, and we wait while the little girl (or boy) stands there doe-eyed as she pries the definition out. This happens with nearly every single movement we do. Tendus: "what does tendu mean?... Anyone... ***....? .................." Petite battements: "what does tendu mean?... Anyone... ***....? .................." On and on and on. It really eats up class time, and is a bit frustrating at times. I want to make these kids flashcards or something. I would, if I thought they might use it.

Anyway, on parent's night this time (this didn't happen previously), we barely went over any terms! Maybe two or three total! And it was wonderful! I worked so hard because instead of stopping so much for so long, we just went from movement to movement to movement. I was far more sore the day after than I usually am! I can't wait for all our classes to be like that!

I had my mom record a few of the movements I still have problems with, like the body positions. I haven't checked those out yet, but I nearly have them down. We are supposed to do a demonstration at the end of the ballet year. Positions are one of my lesser concerns, because it's very easy to sneak peaks at what the other students do, without being too out of sync. Unlike with, say, pas de bourree, where if you mess up and go the wrong way, it's super obvious.

Today's Practice (at home)
So today, I wasn't at all sure what I was going to do, or if I was even going to do any practice. I was doing some plies at my barre and decided what the heck, I'd get dressed and work some. Practice went so well. I just made up my own routine, and listened to some of the classical music I have. I did quite a few plies and tendus- I went through those two or three times on both sides. Especially with the tendus: they are easy enough to do... but I wanted to work on actually leading with my heel and keeping my foot on the floor as long as possible before bringing it up so my toe was on the ground.

Rond de jambes: I worked on really getting that turnout. The movement seems so easy, but it's difficult for me to remember to turn out as soon as I possibly can and as much as I possibly can.

Frappes: Worked on these as well. With my frappe, I think I flex my foot too much when it's at my ankle. My instructor recently told me to strike the foot farther out, so I worked on that and smoothly brushing it on the floor before coming up. This one's a little hard to do on carpet!

Chasses: I've almost had down our chasses in class- we do them a certain way, in a certain order. But I've also been struggling with these. I've understood the direction we had to move, but it wasn't making sense to me what foot crossed in front when. And then our instructor said something last class that gave me an "aha!" moment: the first half, the left foot is chasing the right and the second half, the right chases the left. With just that short description, I now have the movement down pretty well.

[Description: Start in 5th, right foot in front, arms down in preparatory. Plie. Glide forward (in plie), leading with the right foot, bringing arms up to first (fingers at naval... I just looked this up and realized my arms have been too high!). Quickly bring left foot back to fifth (in the back). With right foot, glide into second plie, arms out. Close to fifth (prep arms), this time with right leg in back. Now reverse that, using the left foot to lead and going to the left instead of right. (See, I kept trying to put the wrong foot in back when gliding into second.)

There are two ways we do this, both actually have an extra step that what I said above: à terre and en l'air. In à terre, before closing the non-leading foot to fifth, we tendu the non-working leg. So if I'm going forward with right foot, I'll glide forward, tendu back with my left leg, and quickly close. Glide right, tendu with left leg, close left foot in front. Glide back with right foot, tendu left foot to the front, snap it back to fifth in front. En l'air is the same, except we dégagé instead of tendu.]

Adagio: Finally (after doing my chasses over and over and over again), I went on to our adagio. We do this one both at the barre and in center. It's a passe through retire then the working leg extends up (grande battement?) and then releve (rise up on our standing leg). It's done front, side, back, side. At the barre, instead of passe, we petite battement, sous-sus (feet jump up- releve- in a tight fifth position), spot, and turn. I practiced that one last week. I was having a lot of trouble getting down what happened after the back, and now I have that one nailed- and my spotting has improved as well! (When in center, instead of spotting and turning around, we [try to] stay in releve, do a few short port de bras, then close in the opposite fifth and do it all on the other leg. )

Our adagio has been really difficult for me! I mentioned we do it à terre AND en l'air (in the air)... and I've barely even been able to do just à terre! So today, I did it over and over again- almost totally in the air. I've still got a long way to go, but I'm more or less able to do the movements without having to put my foot down so much for balance.

In summary (I think I am a bit over-explanatory sometimes... I used to write A LOT but now this blog is pretty much the only writing I do nowadays. I hope to improve as I continue on), I'm super proud of myself because today, I showed a lot of discipline! Not just that, but I was totally in the zone doing it. Sometimes I can try things but have my mind elsewhere, wanting to be doing other things. Sometimes the music that came on wasn't fitting for whatever I was doing, so I either turned it off for a while or I just ignored it (instead of allowing myself to become distracted by trying to find the perfect music or something). Today, I was disciplined! Here's to more of that in the future, and more often!

Now to nail my pas de bourres! I was only just starting to get the hang of the two we've been doing, and now there are two more! Slowly, I can do them. But when we are in center, we do all four in a row, and my feet start getting tangled up! I can do this, though. My boyfriend is convincing me I should, indeed, do the demonstration/performance at the end of the ballet year in May... and I think I just might. I think it's just the encouragement I need to really work hard to improve!

Class tonight- hopefully back on track now

I'm so excited to have class again tonight. I pretty much missed most of February's classes, between my car accident and getting sick with a cold. Hopefully all of the hindrances are behind me and I can continue on without missing any more classes for awhile! I feel like it's disrespectful to the teacher, plus I'm finding I learn moves best when I am there the first time she introduces a new movement; otherwise, I'm trying to learn what I can from watching the other students (who may get it mixed up) and it's taking me a LOT longer to learn what has already been taught than what I have been there to see the first time. I'll apologize, of course... and mention that I've injured myself trying to do my splits... yes, it's healing but I can't put a lot of pressure on it now- I'm such a goofball!

Over the weekend I was feeling better and (I may have mentioned this already) worked on my arabesques and spotting. I've also worked some on my port de bras- my arms have not been very pretty, and I feel more "dance-y" when I think they look nice. I developed one of several (so far) bad habits from teaching myself: my arms in second I tend to place too far to the side of me, my elbows possibly even a little behind me. So I've worked on that some lately, too- even just passing by the mirror now and then. I also watched a couple of YouTube videos on arms in ballet, and again, my second hasn't been very correct: I'm now working on keeping the elbow more rounded, with my palms facing inwards along the line of the rest of my arm.

I hope I don't mess up my arabesques today! We do them with the working foot en terre the first time, and then raise it and hold it for a couple of counts in third arabesque. I've been practicing maintaining my balance. I need to get back to work on my turnout muscles because I am unable to hold an arabesque in the air with a very turned-out foot.

A little inspiration for the day:

 

Taking a mini-break from exercise...

I'm taking a mini-break from today's practice. It's gone well- I've kept myself motivated, which I have been having trouble with. I've had to remind myself that this is fun, not just exercise. (If I view anything as exercise, it becomes a drag and I hate it!)

I didn't do much of a warm-up, but Tamra's classes start slow. I did her Lesson 4: Barre, except a few things at the end, I believe she worked on grande battements, and I didn't do those. I don't think I've even done any of the online classes since starting actual classes (which reminds me- I need to cancel my DanceFlix subscription for now, since I haven't been doing those either). I definitely see improvements in what I can do now versus what I could do before starting live classes!

So I worked my way through those, then I started in on a couple of things I'm having trouble with in class: my arabesques, and ah, our grand battements(??), I think they are. (From fifth, passe to retire, then do a leg extension as high as you can, tendu, close.) With the arabesques, I've been having trouble getting my arms right for where my standing leg is. First arabesque has the arm on the standing leg's side extended, and third arabesque has both hands in the air, but the standing leg side is higher than the working leg. I've been switching those around. So I worked on that quite a bit, and I think I've got the hang of it.

I worked on that second exercise mostly for one reason: after we've done front, side, back, we go back to the side but instead of finishing the same way, our leg is raised (damn, I need to make these flashcards I found online), plie, sous-sus, spot, turn, plie, fifth, immediately repeat the regular exercise. I've been trying to just finish the exercise, forget we are supposed to plie, sous-sus and turn, so by the time I've gotten my body facing the other direction, I forget what the hell we are supposed to be doing, so I miss a few beats catching up, which often totally throws me off. But now: now I think I've got it. I practiced over and over, mostly the part right before and after the turn.

In summary: I've brushed up on my arabesques (and also practiced holding them) and worked on spotting while turning today.

Now to stretch. Let's see how that split's going...

The Seven Deadly Sins of Ballet...

Here's a good reminder article for technique and foundation: "The Seven Deadly Sins".

I'm currently most guilty of rolling in, misaligning the spine, and using unnecessary tension. The article brings up a good point about the rolling in:

To get a 180-degree first position, dancers will sometimes let their arches roll forward. But turnout is not about forcing your feet open; it’s about opening up in the hips. “Turning out is an activity, not a position,” says Irene Dowd, who teaches anatomy at the Juilliard School. “If we stop sustaining that movement, our feet will passively roll in.”

This is a good point for me, because I do catch myself rolling in, and when I do, I always think it's because I'm trying to push past my limits of how far my turnout actually is. But this suggests that I'm not necessarily doing that; instead, I am failing to maintain the turnout that I am capable of through my hips (which can be caused by overdoing turnout- i.e., not being able to hold it suggesting I'm not yet strong enough for that much turnout, but not necessarily).

I'd like to state that it's definitely easier to recognize when I'm rolling in with my new MDM shoes, which I am still loving (and yes, are still pretty "new" because I only wear them at class. I can tell when I pull them out which goes on left or right foot since they have molded so well. I will get another pair after these, I believe, and use these at home once they have worn out some, but it looks like it may be awhile). (And maybe it's really because I'm just nervous in class or we are moving a bit too fast, but it seems like I have more trouble balancing in class than at home, and I'm kinda wondering if it's the split soles, as I do feel a small difference there when I try both at home.)

Anyway, so I'm continuing to love ballet, especially the freedom it gives me from anything else going on in my life. I'm really starting to pick up what is going on in class, and have started safely practicing a few movements at home without worrying I'm messing them up (except the preparation- there are two main ones we do, or none at all, and I tend to forget which goes with which). I'm beginning to stretch and workout more on my off days. Everything is going great!

Something is going on in my life- totally nowhere near a done deal yet- but I may find myself in a situation where I can basically take as much ballet as I want, and have plenty of downtime to practice as much as I want. I would have to move two hours away, but I've already checked, and there is a ballet studio that offers adult classes ranging from beginner to advanced/pointe. I really love my teacher, and I have grown comfortable working with the kids who kinda look up to me, so the thought of totally changing that is a bit scary (especially working with mostly adults now that I've gotten used to this). But the benefits to my ballet will be many, and I can also most likely take private lessons as well! I'd probably start with one thirty-minute class a week. So that's on my mind lately- but again, very tentative right now, and not likely to happen for at least a few months, if ever.

To get a 180-degree first position, dancers will sometimes let their arches roll forward. But turnout is not about forcing your feet open; it’s about opening up in the hips. “Turning out is an activity, not a position,” says Irene Dowd, who teaches anatomy at the Juilliard School. “If we stop sustaining that movement, our feet will passively roll in.” - See more at: http://www.dancemagazine.com/issues/January-2008/The-Seven-Deadly-Sins#sthash.lXIM2BQM.dpuf

To get a 180-degree first position, dancers will sometimes let their arches roll forward. But turnout is not about forcing your feet open; it’s about opening up in the hips. “Turning out is an activity, not a position,” says Irene Dowd, who teaches anatomy at the Juilliard School. “If we stop sustaining that movement, our feet will passively roll in.” - See more at: http://www.dancemagazine.com/issues/January-2008/The-Seven-Deadly-Sins#sthash.lXIM2BQM.dpuf

To get a 180-degree first position, dancers will sometimes let their arches roll forward. But turnout is not about forcing your feet open; it’s about opening up in the hips. “Turning out is an activity, not a position,” says Irene Dowd, who teaches anatomy at the Juilliard School. “If we stop sustaining that movement, our feet will passively roll in.” - See more at: http://www.dancemagazine.com/issues/January-2008/The-Seven-Deadly-Sins#sthash.lXIM2BQM.dpuf

My First Classes!

I know you, my dear (eventual, at least) reader, have been on the edge of your seat waiting to hear how my first classes have gone, the ones with the second year nine year olds. And I'm here to let you know...

I LOVE IT!!!

All of my fears went out the window just about as soon as we started the first class. First of all, my teacher (whom I'd met before) was very nice and put me at ease. I was feeling a little shy, but she told me to go ahead and take off my shirt to get to just my leotard/tights/slippers, and told me to get behind one girl who is very good, and in front of another girl (who was good as well, though not to the first's level).

Everyone (about six or eight children total, all girls except one boy, and I'm the oldest one by decades) was already on the floor starting their warmups. (I did a half-hearted warm up prior to class, but there were moms around and it was my first day there and I felt too nervous to do much the first day.) Almost immediately, I saw one thing I need to work on: ankle rolls! I've always done maybe 5-10 in then out at a time. Nope, not here. We start each class with 64 counts in and 64 counts out. OUCH! (Luckily, this is something I can work on while sitting in my chair at work.)

Our barre exercises were so much fun! From what I've gathered, the girls have been working on the same basics every class. They say a little chant of what each foot is doing as it moves (touch back, touch front, etc), and we've gone from tendus to plies to frappes to petite battements sur le-cou-de-pied to rond de jambes and a few others I'm forgetting. The exercises are quite a bit different from what I've been doing. I don't quite have them down yet, but it's definitely doable.

Note: What I just mentioned is THE best thing about my class. I can do the exercises, but I don't have them down yet- the order, the making it look pretty. So it's just right: difficult, but not overly so.

With the barre, I am having trouble with my arms and head. I only touched on that with my online classes and DVDs and am not used to doing it more frequently. I'm already getting the hang of some of the movements, but when we get to more complicated foot patterns, I focus on that and try to keep my arms in second or first (though sometimes they are all over the place).

After barre, we moved to the center: two rows, me behind the proficient girl. The center was more difficult for me, as I suspected it would be, but again, not overly so. Mostly, it's a matter of learning the order of each exercise, and then with the center, balance is another issue I'll be working on. The hardest thing for me as far as balance goes has been maintaining it while doing grand plies, especially fifth. Luckily, that's something I can work on at home. I also have trouble with my arabesques, but I'm quickly picking up the arm positions- I almost have the general placement down and then it will be time to fine-tune that.

Finally, we did some movements across the room diagonally, both ways. The first thing we did was a little three-step skip thing. The next one was way harder for me- I was totally lost. I told the little girl behind me to go ahead in front of me, so I could watch a little longer. (She is ADORABLE! Cute little girl with long, curly red hair! She's one of the staff's daughters.) She looked up at me with big eyes and whispered, "We have to go together." And so we did.

The only time I really felt out of place some (and honestly, this would have happened even if I was their age) was when everyone did splits. Only myself and one little girl cannot do at least one split- we hover a foot above what everyone else can do. I knew that would happen, and I knew I would compare myself, but I'm already working on that. (Okay, well, I feel a little out of place when I'm looking in the mirror, and towering over everyone. I think I've gained a little weight- it fluctuates- and I think I've gained a little extra muscle mass in my legs, so not only am I taller than everyone, my weight really stands out, too. Yes, I know I'm an adult, but... ok, I'm self-conscious about the way I look!)

Tonight's class was a lot easier in terms of my anxiety. I left work a little earlier than planned and ran home and changed. I arrived at the studio early, and spent time doing some decent stretching. I was just on the hall floor, and then the little redhead comes over to me and opens the door to another studio room and tells me that's where we usually go and warm up. So we went in there and I was warming up and the little girls were making their way in and warming up, playing on the barre, talking.

Tonight went pretty much the same (though we didn't have to do awkward grand plies, yay!). I did better at keeping up, though I still have a ways to go. I got a few corrections tonight, which did not happen in my first class. (I'm also trying to take in any corrections she gives others and apply them to myself, as long as I'm not totally wrapped up in just trying to get a movement down.) My little red-headed friend seemed happy that we partnered again (her mother told me she'd been all excited that we were partners the first class!). At the very end of the class, my teacher went over that last diagonal movement we do. It involves a plie, a tendu, two steps, a half-turn while switching to a third step with the other foot, a very small arabesque, two backwards steps, and a half-turn switching feet to land in a plie with tendu. (Whew!) Luckily, my little friend brought me into the extra studio room after class and she pretended she was the teacher. First, she showed me side by side how to do it. (And didn't complain when I asked her to do it several more times with me.) Then, she sat in the teacher's chair and played teacher. She helped me with it some more next to me, and another girl came in to work on it with us. I lingered a bit in the hallway as everyone was leaving, practicing this step so I could work on it this weekend, with four days in between classes. And I pretty much have it down! I'm SO glad my friend showed me. It's one of those things I am definitely going to have to do over and over to pick it up (and that's before actually making it look somewhat pretty), but I have the steps in my head in the right order, and that's half the battle.

So yes, totally psyched about ballet! I'm definitely not ready for the next level, and am definitely fine staying in this one until I'm ready to progress. I'm going to try not to rush my progress and rush getting into the next class, for I know that the longer you work on your basics, the better a foundation you'll have (especially once en pointe- provided I make it that far, which I do hope!)

My self-teaching has definitely helped me. One thing I've been doing incorrectly, though, has been my rond de jambes en dedans- my toe is supposed to come more in front of the toe of my standing leg, so I'll be relearning that some. I've also been using third instead of fifth, but we work from fifth even though none of us have 180* turnout.

So yep, that's how my first two classes have gone. I love going, I'm already getting more comfortable, I already have something new to work on (oh, plus some port de bras in the different stage positions, if I can remember... along with terminology- she quizzes the little girls on that a lot, and they stumble over it), and I'm definitely more motivated now to stretch!

Today's Ballet

Today's ballet went well (when I wasn't sneaking peaks at my eBay watch list to make sure Christmas gifts weren't being sold from under me!). Warmup, of course, then I picked up where I left off with Lesson 4 Barre. After that, I brought out Finis Jhung's easiest level center class. Popped it in the drive, check out the menu (that only says "Exercise 1" and so forth), go to the first exercise, and am immediately intimidated by what comes up:

Tendu, dégagé en en l'air, tombé en avant, arabesque balance

Say what? But of course Jhung breaks it down very easily, even reminding the viewer to take the first half beat to shift balance to the standing leg. I practiced that quite a few times- other than my boring one actual ballet class, and a little bit of pas de bourre with Tamra, I really haven't done a lot of movement across the floor. Most of what I've done has either been barre, or basically changing positions more or less in one spot. I'm glad that was my basis to work from, though, because I was definitely more stable on one leg, better able to balance on my working leg than I could have a few weeks ago.

The second one was more difficult for me to grasp- the arm movements were quite different than anything I've ever done with my arms, and I had trouble remembering which foot to start with if I wanted to go a particular direction (the movements were de côté, or "to the side"). I did that one quite a few times as well, but I think I ended up working my right side more than my left one. 

I can feel myself starting to just watch the movements being done by others and following along instead of actually learning it. For some reason I've always struggled a little with this. I think it's possible I need a little extra time than a lot of people learning motions with my body, because I remember being like this as a child, too. It always took me a little longer to pick something up, like a dance routine. I'm much more of a potential thinker than a kinetic doer, lol- basically, I over-think things, trying to form some sort of sense of something rather than just doing it and picking up the nuances over time and with repetition. Since others move faster than me, I guess I've made it a habit to just follow along with what they are doing instead of being able to really grasp what I'm doing. It's really a very different way of learning than what I'm used to, so of course I'm struggling some. (Not sure if all of that made sense...)

But anyway, even though the center work is challenging for me, I'm really enjoying it so far. (I enjoy challenging myself, especially my way of thinking!) It's now been about seven and a half weeks(!!) since I started teaching myself ballet, and I'm now starting to be able to see the foundation that I've been laying down the past almost-two months. There are still soooooo many details to learn, but I'm beginning to see a more holistic picture of ballet than just seeing steps I have to learn. The pieces are fitting together more now. It's really cool, and I'm really proud of myself, especially for sticking with it even through the lack of motivation I had just recently! (I normally would have stopped learning something at that point.)

My flexibility is improving, too, I'd like to add. I'm getting way more in touch with my body. I do a lot of normal stretching movements, but I also mix in different things, just going with the flow. If I'm leaning my chest down towards my knee, for instance, and I feel a tug in my back, I'll listen closely to my body and move in a way that gently stretches out that tug. Today, for instance, I was stretching my hamstrings and I felt a tight spot, so I got out one of my little hard bouncy balls, placed it under my leg, and moved it around until I found just the right spot. I gently pressed down into it... feeling it give a little... a little more... and then a release, a definite letting go that totally clears my mind for a few seconds and "wows!" me. Those moments are difficult to find, but when I do, it's just such a great feeling... tension that's built up in my body for years and years suddenly let go, vanished, vamoose!

Today I'm Grateful for Ballet

Hopefully, my Thanksgiving goes a little better later on. I'm currently spending it alone with no plans besides eating pumpkin (not apple :P) pie. My mom is at work. My daughter is at work. My friend I'd kinda assumed I'd be spending it with is out-of-town with another friend... so it's just me, and ballet, for right now.

I'm getting a better understanding and control over my petite battements sur le coup-de-pied (or vice versa, whatever). I think a big part of this has to do with the fact that my arches are definitely getting stronger, and it shows with my wrapped foot. When they were weaker, there wasn't as much definition in the arch, so it looked more like just bringing my foot back and forth. With more definition, there's more of a specificity of placement of my foot, if that makes sense. I'm also learning the placement of my foot on the outer side- more control over that so they are getting more precise. (I'm still doing them slowly at the moment. Once I have even better control, I will learn to do them faster!)

I'm certainly enjoying these more- I really didn't like them at the start. I credit my stronger arches to all the doming I do at work- in sneakers. The top of my sneakers gives me something to push against, making me gain strength faster than just doming barefoot. 

Another thing I've noticed recently- I think I touched on this some- is that I'm more aware of my body as I'm moving. Since I'm getting the movements down, I am more able to focus on what the rest of my body is doing. I'm learning to pull up on the standing leg's hip more instead of sinking down into it. It's not a constant awareness yet, but I'm getting there.

I'm more aware of using those turnout muscles instead of forcing it so much. I'm still working in third instead of fifth, and I'm less concerned with being so turned out, working within my body's current limits instead. Trying to force turnout- unsuccessfully- was one of the ways I was bringing myself down, demotivating myself. Doing Lisa Howell's turnout exercise is really helping me learn how to maintain turnout. (I know how to turnout properly- it's the constant doing of this that's so troublesome!)

I'm learning to be aware of the changing of my line of balance (looking for a term...) when moving into fourth, third, first, from another position, when switching from one type of arabesque to another.  I'm more aware of my alignment in general on my standing leg when my other leg is working... and because of this... I am able to BALANCE a whole lot better!