Poshmark: Leotards & Dancewear for Sale!

I'm not going to advertise much on here, but I wanted to mention that I'm starting to sell some really nice new and gently used dance wear on my Poshmark. My username there is @thepsychokitten and the link is this. The reason I'm posting this now is I'm really starting to amp up my dance wear sales there. Not a lot of people are selling it!

In case you are new to the site, well, here's my favorite thing about it: $6.49 expedited shipping on all orders! Now this sucks if you just want to buy a $5 bracelet, but Poshmark is all about shoppers creating "bundles". If you find something you REALLY like, go to that user's closet and see if there are more items you like. You can create a "bundle" of your likes (the "dressing room" thingy), and either the seller can send you an offer- sometimes a lot lower than what everything is advertised for, or you can send the seller an offer. I've gotten some great deals!

Here's some of what I have coming up for sale:

So yeah, check it out :D

Update: I got in trouble in class!

Thought I would post a quick update. Class is going great- I've made it to all of them so far (which isn't many, but still!). I actually got in trouble in my third class. I made a ballet-class-friend who is about 13-14, the second oldest in my class. She loves ballet as much as I do! I get very excited to talk to her... but the only time I can do that is IN class.

I was just telling her a quick note about how, with the waltz we were doing (which, I just found out, is more appropriately called balance en tournant, although we haven't gotten to the turning part yet), the point of brushing the foot against the floor, as the teacher was stressing, was to provide friction and make our feet stronger! As I was finishing my sentence, I heard the teacher telling everyone to be quiet. I looked around and the entire class was looking at me- apparently, I was the only one talking!

Yes, I know that's SO rude, and I was properly embarrassed! I was just SO excited to have someone in front of me I could talk to about learning ballet!! Needless to say, I haven't talked in class again.

When I took ballet previously at this school, I started in the winter season, same as this time. This class is a lot farther behind than when I took it before. Part of me really likes learning things like balance en tournant like a beginner, with everything broken down really simply. The other part of me fears we won't be caught up as far next year. (And the anxious part of me is scared I mixed things up and am taking a lower grade than ever before!)

After battling some more depression, and likewise not going to the gym, I made it back to the gym yesterday. I just did 3 miles on the bike, some ab work, and a little ballet. My mind was wandering around oddly- I started the medication Seroquel last week, and I think it's affecting the way I think.

I also made it to a Pilates class this past week- Reformer Basics, and have a mat class scheduled for Tuesday!

One more thing: I'm having to sell my Capezio BraTek camisole leotards, sadly. They are an adult sized medium, which usually fits perfectly, but my bust is just a bit too large for the bra part to feel comfortable. I may try one in a size large, as it was REALLY helping hold my chest down and compress it. (That Bal Togs I posted about before, though, is AWESOME!)

First Class (Back): Success!

I'm so happy, and proud of myself. In spite of the fact my mind and body, via depression, were telling me to just give up on ballet, not go to class, I went anyway.

I took a nap that afternoon until about 1pm, and woke up in a good mood, luckily not groggy. I decided to go ahead and get dressed in my ballet outfit, 4 hours in advance. I took my time, trying on the various leotards I've accumulated since the last time I took a class. (I love buying leotards, what can I say?)

One of my most recent purchases was this Bal Togs sports bra:

Here's the front:

If you've read any of my blog, you'll see that I'm often on the hunt for different ways of keeping my girls in. My breasts don't look very big in this photo, but I had breast augmentation about a decade ago, bringing them from an A/B cup up to my current 32DDD.

For the record, my grade's dress code is: black leotard, preferably long-sleeved, pink tights, pink ballet shoes, no extras.

I love camisole leotards, and I love to wear them when I'm at the gym (although usually under something else), but when I'm in class- I'm around a bunch of very young girls and their protective mothers, and I don't want to do anything to jeopardize my ability to continue taking classes there. So I try to dress as modestly as possible, while still attempting to find ways to change my style from a totally basic scoop-neck/high-back tank or short-sleeve leotard. (I recently ordered a long-sleeve leotard, basic black, but I get hot extremely easily, so I think that will probably last through one class, if that. But I want to try.)

Back to this Bal Togs bra. I purchased it from Discount Dance during a clearance sale to wear under this leotard I also purchased during this sale:

(Turns out I have another leotard just like that one, but with lace instead of mesh, LOL.) I love the bra! Especially when paired with a leotard, it really compresses my breasts and prevents them from hopping up and down when I jump. I ended up wearing this leotard to class:

No mesh like the one above

which was surprisingly comfortable. Paired with the Bal Togs- along with some plain, adhesive nipple covers, I felt much better than when I wear a VS Sports bra to class. With those, I don't have to wear the nipple covers, but they enhance my cleavage instead of compressing it.

So class went well, and it was one of the first classes I've felt like "Oh! I know this one!" pretty much the entire class! Even though I have taken about a month or so off from any sort of ballet practice, the hard work I put in before was NOT (as my depressed self tried to assure me) in vain. I'm really learning, and I'm becoming more comfortable with the movements. And when we galloped across the center of the room, two at a time, I actually felt like I looked graceful!

One more thing: since taking classes (even from before), I have struggled with some of the full-body positions we usually do during center. My previous instructor (who I will likely have next year) is amazing, but she always seemed too busy for me to feel comfortable to ask, and the times I thought about asking previous classmates, I didn't have a pen and paper with me. But Monday, I spoke with my teacher, and she was great! She demonstrated the movement and gave me time to write them out. Now, to practice them!

In case you're wondering, here is the list:
croise devant
a la quatrieme devant
ecarte
efface
a la seconde
epaule
a la quatrieme derriere
croise derriere

I had to take my car to the shop yesterday, so I'm not sure if I will be able to make it to class tonight. I hope so, because I know next week is when parents get to come in and watch, and I really don't want to be there for that. (I've done it- my mom came once. But I just haven't learned that much since then, and it'd be weird with only a couple of classes under my belt with this instructor.) Anyway, back to loving ballet!!

Update: Sick, Pas de Bourres, Adding a Bra to a Leotard

As luck would have it, just as I was getting over my not feeling so well from the car wreck I was in, I caught a cold earlier this week. It got bad on Tuesday, when I left work early, and I stayed at home in bed Wednesday and Thursday as well. I'm feeling much better. I pondered going to ballet both of those days (though I felt really bad, especially Tuesday), but decided that not only would it probably make me not feel better, I would likely spread it to all of my classmates, who would then spread it to their respective school classrooms and I would just be responsible for this huge catastrophe of sickness. So, I stayed home.

I'm definitely getting back into it today. Nothing too hardcore as I'm not at 100% but I can't not do anything today. I'm already worried my teacher is thinking I'm not taking ballet seriously- and I am! I'll explain to her what happened, of course. And today, I think I am going to work on some of the slower online classes that I know well, the ones by Tamra Chace, and do some stretching. At the end, if I feel like it, I will work on my pas de bourre. I'm really getting the hang of them, and want to really have them nailed the next time I go to class... or at least to where I'm not totally tangled up doing them in class.

I've been working on visualizing those pas de bourres a lot, since I haven't been able to do them. I've been watching two videos over and over to see how gracefully the dancers do them, and then try to imagine myself doing the movements as gracefully. Hopefully that's helping. One is from the Royal Opera House. We don't move front to back, only to the sides, but even so, I'm watching those movements too to help figure out how to gracefully do the sides. This is the other one and I don't even know who these people are, but I like that I can watch several people to see how each of them do the movements.

The other thing I am planning on starting today is this: I've been lamenting about my lack of leotard options as a woman with a D cup/fuller breasts. Basically, I have been confined to plain, basic tank leotards; plain, basic short-sleeve and long-sleeve leotards, and, well, that's just about it. (Although I have recently purchased one with lace at the shoulders, and can wear a bra with clear straps for that one.) But I still have my pretty leotards that I can't wear to class!

So I've decided to recycle an old bra to use with a leotard, probably my older white one (it's seen better days, so I will use it first. Also, it flattens me out a bit instead of pushing me up, which is better for ballet!). My goal is to cut the back off starting from an inch or two past the cups on the side, and cut everything from there back out. Then I am going to fold the edges I cut, and maybe add something else in for reinforcement there. (Excuse me, I don't know sewing terms.) And then I am going to add black elastic strips. With this one, it will probably be three horizontal straps, so that when the bra is on (which will hopefully just slip over my head? Or I may need to add hooks), the front will be supported and in the back you will just see three horizontal black stripes, which will hopefully blend in and look like it's part of my leotard.

I've been looking at a ton of ideas for doing this. I've got some ideas for straps as well. Here are some of the photos that have been inspiring me:

This is how the first one I plan to do will hopefully look, only under a camisole leotard with a very low back. I'm just not sure if strapless will be enough support. If not, I will add straps in somewhere...

Basically what mine will look like, hopefully, only the front won't match and won't be so pretty on my first try!

This was my original idea, for the really pretty black leotard I still have the tags on, because I just don't have a bra to match the straps and without a bra, it just looks awkward. It looks like with this one, you could actually sew in the bra straps inside the leotard straps, though I'm not sure how that will work with the one I have in mind.

I wouldn't put the adjustments there at the top like that, but I plan to use mine for low-back leotards. I'd love to make something where the straps could be worn or not... but if worn, they would match my leotards shape. So, not like the traditional multi-way bras that VS has and such.

New leotard seller

I found these guys linking on eBay (which they aren't supposed to do) and figured I would go ahead and bookmark the link before it wasn't available anymore. The quality doesn't really look so great for the price... or maybe it was just the couple I glanced at that just didn't have any liner in the front, but I will leave the link here for you to determine the quality and if it's something you'd like to purchase or not. (I get nothing and only just came across them last night. I've never purchased from them and cannot testify to their quality or validity as a seller.) Also, the website seems to run really slowly for me.

Splits Progress!

Disclaimer: What I am about to discuss was probably a terrible idea to try. I'm sometimes my own guinea pig and risk injuring myself for various tricks and such. I do not recommend trying anything in this post. To do so could truly cause major injury!! 

Edit: I did, in fact, get injured! Nothing too horrible, but still a setback. See my post five days later here. 

Edit #2: Please don't do anything you see in this post. A month later, I'm still injured. Read about it here.

OMG, I can't believe I haven't ever posted photos of my splits here! Probably because they are so sucky, but still, that should have been good reason right there, so I can chart my progress. Anyway, let's just say that never in my life have I ever been able to do any sort of split. Not straddle, or either side. Let's say I've never been within a foot of the floor doing splits. Let's say that because it's all true.

That Tsatsulin book I've mentioned a few times... honestly, I haven't read more than what I'd read by the time I first posted about it (well, maybe a few more chapters later that day, but not really any since then). It's marked at page 43 of 157 now, so that's how far I've made it. And yet, those 43 pages have made a huge difference in the way I'm approaching stretching (which, yes, I did yesterday, along with some ballet).

One of the things Tsatsulin mentions is this: one leg can get into a certain position alone, and the other leg can get into another position alone, but yet, I am unable to do both of those things together. Why? There is nothing connecting the two legs together (I don't even know if this is true or not, but stick with me here). So it's a mental thing, a fear thing. My body is not accustomed to being in a split and so it snaps into fear mode when I try to put it in that sort of position, which only serves to tighten me up more.

There's a bunch more, you should at least read 43 pages.

So yesterday, I had on some meditation/yoga music and I was working on stretching. I got into a splits position. I was taking shallow breaths, and I got into this very Zen-like state. (I do not recommend doing what I am about to tell you about AT ALL, but especially if you have never done meditation or aren't very good at visualizing what's going on in your body!) I thought about how my front leg could get into the right position while alone... and it pretty much got there. I thought about the same with my back leg... and I was practically doing splits!

I'm totally not kidding about this. I have photographic proof:

(Pardon my mirror spots)

 Now, I know that is not a full split: my left leg (um, on the left- I'm in a mirror here... for some reason my left front split is better than my right) isn't totally touching the floor. And my right leg is bent behind me. I don't quite think my body is supposed to be turned in that direction; it should be facing the front. So it probably altogether looks a bit awkward. But I DON'T CARE because I'M DOING A SPLIT!

 

Yes, I was able to do it (awkwardly again) on the other side as well! 

I WOULD like to caution: besides the fact that this was probably a terrible idea and I don't recommend it at all, I also heard a very scary, very loud POP the second time I tried that first split. It came from within my hip area and scared the crap out of me. Also, I'm sore today. Quite sore. (And this is the second day after- today's Monday and this happened Saturday.)

Yet, I don't feel like I've done any damage. I'm definitely not doing anything much with it today besides walking, and didn't yesterday either. But honestly, this is about the sort of splits some of the young girls in my class can do- with the back leg bent some- and now I will (possibly) be able to do it too!

And my straddle split improved as well:

Not only have I never been able to get that far apart, I was even able to ease my elbows all the way to the ground (though it was difficult to totally rest that way).

I'm so excited. Thank you, Mr. Tsatsulin! Here is a (pdf) link to Relax into Stretch again.

(P.S. That's one of my new leotards from Discount Dance that I scored for under $15!)

The Seven Deadly Sins of Ballet...

Here's a good reminder article for technique and foundation: "The Seven Deadly Sins".

I'm currently most guilty of rolling in, misaligning the spine, and using unnecessary tension. The article brings up a good point about the rolling in:

To get a 180-degree first position, dancers will sometimes let their arches roll forward. But turnout is not about forcing your feet open; it’s about opening up in the hips. “Turning out is an activity, not a position,” says Irene Dowd, who teaches anatomy at the Juilliard School. “If we stop sustaining that movement, our feet will passively roll in.”

This is a good point for me, because I do catch myself rolling in, and when I do, I always think it's because I'm trying to push past my limits of how far my turnout actually is. But this suggests that I'm not necessarily doing that; instead, I am failing to maintain the turnout that I am capable of through my hips (which can be caused by overdoing turnout- i.e., not being able to hold it suggesting I'm not yet strong enough for that much turnout, but not necessarily).

I'd like to state that it's definitely easier to recognize when I'm rolling in with my new MDM shoes, which I am still loving (and yes, are still pretty "new" because I only wear them at class. I can tell when I pull them out which goes on left or right foot since they have molded so well. I will get another pair after these, I believe, and use these at home once they have worn out some, but it looks like it may be awhile). (And maybe it's really because I'm just nervous in class or we are moving a bit too fast, but it seems like I have more trouble balancing in class than at home, and I'm kinda wondering if it's the split soles, as I do feel a small difference there when I try both at home.)

Anyway, so I'm continuing to love ballet, especially the freedom it gives me from anything else going on in my life. I'm really starting to pick up what is going on in class, and have started safely practicing a few movements at home without worrying I'm messing them up (except the preparation- there are two main ones we do, or none at all, and I tend to forget which goes with which). I'm beginning to stretch and workout more on my off days. Everything is going great!

Something is going on in my life- totally nowhere near a done deal yet- but I may find myself in a situation where I can basically take as much ballet as I want, and have plenty of downtime to practice as much as I want. I would have to move two hours away, but I've already checked, and there is a ballet studio that offers adult classes ranging from beginner to advanced/pointe. I really love my teacher, and I have grown comfortable working with the kids who kinda look up to me, so the thought of totally changing that is a bit scary (especially working with mostly adults now that I've gotten used to this). But the benefits to my ballet will be many, and I can also most likely take private lessons as well! I'd probably start with one thirty-minute class a week. So that's on my mind lately- but again, very tentative right now, and not likely to happen for at least a few months, if ever.

To get a 180-degree first position, dancers will sometimes let their arches roll forward. But turnout is not about forcing your feet open; it’s about opening up in the hips. “Turning out is an activity, not a position,” says Irene Dowd, who teaches anatomy at the Juilliard School. “If we stop sustaining that movement, our feet will passively roll in.” - See more at: http://www.dancemagazine.com/issues/January-2008/The-Seven-Deadly-Sins#sthash.lXIM2BQM.dpuf

To get a 180-degree first position, dancers will sometimes let their arches roll forward. But turnout is not about forcing your feet open; it’s about opening up in the hips. “Turning out is an activity, not a position,” says Irene Dowd, who teaches anatomy at the Juilliard School. “If we stop sustaining that movement, our feet will passively roll in.” - See more at: http://www.dancemagazine.com/issues/January-2008/The-Seven-Deadly-Sins#sthash.lXIM2BQM.dpuf

To get a 180-degree first position, dancers will sometimes let their arches roll forward. But turnout is not about forcing your feet open; it’s about opening up in the hips. “Turning out is an activity, not a position,” says Irene Dowd, who teaches anatomy at the Juilliard School. “If we stop sustaining that movement, our feet will passively roll in.” - See more at: http://www.dancemagazine.com/issues/January-2008/The-Seven-Deadly-Sins#sthash.lXIM2BQM.dpuf

Ballet Attire

I'm a little sad. I mentioned that I managed to get the last Bal Togs Two-Tone Strappy-Back Camisole leotard in my size from DiscountDance. Alas, I received my shipment this afternoon, and that one was not in my package :( I did get a good deal on plain black short-sleeve leotards, at least, but I was really looking forward to the Bal Togs one. Oh well.

I've been obsessing about finding a way to feel comfortable in a camisole leotard. When I purchased my first leotard, I tried on quite a few to see what size and what styles looked best on me. Camisoles were a definite "no" at the time.

At one point, I received a beautiful black leotard from eBay. It is not a camisole, but it has a low back with odd straps; the front is pleated at the chest. (I don't think I've posted photos yet- I have a few new leotards to take pics of and upload here.) It's not something I can wear a normal bra with, not with the straps the way they are. Furthermore, the side of the chest area stops abruptly (instead of continuing around to the back). Between all of that, I didn't think there was any way I'd ever feel like I looked nice in it.

Then I got to thinking... I tried it on with a bra. I think if I sew the cups of a bra into it, I will be able to wear it comfortably. I almost put it up for sale, but I definitely want to get around to trying this. I don't want to be so stuck in what kinds of leotards I can wear... even if I'm only going to be wearing them at home! (Yes, my leotard buying obsession continues...)

While I'm on the subject, I've already decided I am going to be dressing very plainly for class. Even if I rig my cool leotard right and feel comfortable in it, it shows too much skin for me to feel comfortable in the class I am in, with the little kids (who probably wouldn't notice or give a damn) and their parents (who I don't want to find the slightest fault with me because I'm so grateful to just be able to take classes there). I've been wearing a new VS sports bra, it's like an underwire bra within a sports bra. It's great. It's been very... cold... though. So I happened to find in a drawer a pair of these. They were just what I needed. (I also recently picked up six bras of several types that use adhesive to stay on. I will be trying some of these in my quest as well.)

First class today!

I'm so excited, and nervous, and excited and nervous! All of these what-ifs going through my head. Anxiety because I don't know yet how I will get into my ballet outfit... I think I am going to have to stop by home on the way to the doctor appointment (I do have one today) and put on my leotard and tights, with my cute VS sweats over it all. My appointment is over around 3:45, but class doesn't start until 5. But I do need to be there a bit early, to register and what-not. Should I just head to my therapist early (I usually get out earlier if I do) and THEN head home to change and get ready? If not, what do I spend that extra time on after I leave the doctor? I don't know if I will have time to run back home, and I don't want to get there TOO early, although they do let observers watch, and I could see the grade before me. I'd really like to stretch- if I get there early enough can I actually stretch inside the building, or am I supposed to be already warmed up when I get in there? I very much dislike having so many questions- I get myself all wound up and anxious! And oddly, it's always these little silly before-event intricacies and etiquette that get me worried. If anything, I should be a little worried about my actual class and whether or not I will be able to keep up, but I'm so wound up with the other things, I'm not so worried about class! I figure: my teacher did NOT seem like my doing YouTube videos was anything close to doing real ballet (she doesn't know I was studying a ton as well), and so she is assuming I know nothing about ballet. And while I do agree that I pretty much know nothing about ballet, I do at least know positions, movements, what it's like to be at the barre, and how much I don't like center :) So I think I will be a little bit ahead of what she expects, and thus I should be able to keep up with the class. Also, what about my MDM ballet shoes? Is she going to notice I have split soles and say something about how I should have full soles? Should I show her before class or just wait until she mentions it? Or show her after, if she does say something?

What I'm really, really hoping for is that this class will be quite a bit too easy. The next grade (10-year-olds, 3rd year) fits my schedule so much better, but I could still take some of these classes as well. I won't be able to take the grade before this one; it's just too early. But wow, three years of ballet sounds like soooo much. Already, as I've mentioned, these girls I'll be with have had 1.5 years of ballet.

STOP, MIND!

Dear Me,
Whatever happens is exactly how it is supposed to happen! You'll figure out the clothes situation. You'll get there on time. Even if you go in totally cold and there is no warm-up, take it easy and you'll know next time, and you'll also know if you can warm up in the building (which would be ideal). You will be fine with the nine year olds. You will be able to keep up. Even in the center. And even if you don't keep up so well in the center, just give it your best shot and spend your focus just trying to remember the general idea of the steps, especially names.

It doesn't matter if the class is too easy. Worry about this class only for right now. Other classes can and will come when you're ready. Either way, you can definitely watch the older girls, the next grade, who will be starting as we end.

Don't forget your notepad and pen for notes during/after class! And yes, your leotard plus underwire sports bra is modest enough. It's packed, as are both shoes (MDM and full-sole) and deodorant and if there's anything else you need, you'll know next time.

YOU GOT THIS!
Love,
Me

Inspiration

My New Two-Tone Strappy Back Camisole Leotard

I've started to realize that, excepting some of the by-bid listings, it costs just as much to purchase new leotards on eBay as it is on DiscountDance (not an affiliate link, though I wish they offered affiliates!). Maybe the brands vary some, but it's most often a lower end brand(?) like Capezio or So Danca. (I don't have enough leotards to compare the differences, but am assuming a less-expensive leotard is going to be made a little less well than a more expensive one.)

Well, earlier today, I decided to check out the site in honor of my upcoming new classes (in only a few days!!) and yes, I scored 2 So Danca plain black short-sleeve leotards for $11.57 (cheaper than on eBay, even WITH shipping), but I ALSO grabbed this amazing deal by Bal Togs (which I'm assuming is a more mid-range brand based on price)... a two-tone strappy back camisole leotard! I can't wear it to class (hey, I like looking pretty when I practice at home, don't hate), but it was... $13.70, when I think they usually run around $30. This was the very last one, and it happened to be in medium. And while it's a camisole, it's not the normal kind, so if it fits right, I will feel comfy in it because the front is so high.

I'm really stocking up on leotards. I have a bit of an obsession with them. I sure as hell hope I love ballet, real actual ballet classes, as much as I'm hoping and expecting to.

Off to stretching, while my muscles are still a little warmed up from taking my dog to the park and for a walk. Cheerio!

MDM Ballet Shoes!

OMG, I just ran to the mailbox to check the mail because I'd seen that my shoes were being delivered today. And yes! There they were. I rushed back home and, of course, put them on right away. (After skimming the bright red STOP instructions telling me to not make so much as an indentation in the shoes in case I needed to return them.) They fit!

MDM Elemental Leather Split Sole Ballet Shoes. Mine have the logo and sole writing in pink. 

The insole to the MDM shoes. They provide resistance to help build strength, shock absorption for jumps, and can help the wearer sense pronation.

I went with the MDM Elemental Leather Split Soles. The "Intrinsic" line is canvas, and they have a "Reflex" version of each. The Reflex shoes are designed more for a lot of demi-pointe work, because they have a little piece in them that expands and contracts when the foot goes back and forth to demi. Since I'm nowhere near a lot of demi, I went for the leather. Here was my initial impressions of the MDM Elemental Split Sole Leather Ballet Shoes:

1. Look! There's the hot pink insole!
2. This shoe feels like it should go on the other foot. (I don't think they are made like that, but switching felt better for some reason- I've been like this with all of my shoes, so I think it's a mental thing!) I switched and it was fine.
3. Cool! My first pair of split soles!
4. The leather is SO SOFT!
5. The toes fit... almost perfectly (at first). I have a much longer second toe than "big" toe, and my third one is long, too, so shoes that come right against my toes tend to make a bump or two where those long toes are having to bend at the top until the shoes get stretched out. 
6. The leather is SO SOFT that #3 isn't going to be an issue; I can tell this right away. The other instruction sheet that came with them also says that they mold very easily, and I've read another review stating that their shoes were molding in the first class.
7. There is no extra baggage anywhere around the shoes. When I point my foot, it's a very nice, clean line, so unlike the full soles I've been wearing.
8. The heel doesn't dig into my foot like my other shoes. (I can feel the edges of the suede.)
9. My pointed foot looks great! 
10. Cool, they even come with a little satin bag to carry them in!

Then I tried on one of the new ones and one of my first pair of leather ballet shoes. Immediately, I noticed that my old ones, full-soles, provided pretty much no resistance to the pointing/arching of my feet, while the MDM shoes definitely provide resistance. It was like being barefoot with my old shoe. And, yes, when I pointed the foot with the old shoe, the arch was not a clean line at all. It bunched up in the front, wrinkling some here and there. With the MDM, it showed my arch beautifully.

Note: Before ordering, I took the fit quiz to show which sizes would be best for my feet. It worked well. The ones I ordered are my shoe size (7.5) with a medium width, but the Intrinsic (canvas) line would have been half a size down and narrow (7N) while the Elemental Reflex would have been a whole size down and wide. (6.5W) So yeah, take the quiz!

I'm definitely keeping these. I'm wondering if my teacher will say anything about wearing split soles as a beginner, because if so, I'll be like "No! Check it!" and show her the awesomeness of advancements in ballet shoes.

I'm so excited. I am going to save these for class, or at least try to! I do my ballet work at home on carpet, which wears down the suede soles of my shoes. My first leather ones are very worn and the suede is pretty much slippery- but that's helpful to me on carpet because I can slide my feet without them catching so much on the carpet. (I haven't gotten into turns much, so that doesn't really matter.) I'd love to have a spare pair for home, though! When those wear out, I'll definitely use them at home, too!

I will have photos soon! I've also gotten several new leotards and such that I want to show you. (Including a chiffon ballet skirt I picked up for $7... at Walmart! It's the 14/16 kids size, and it fits me. [I wear a 1 or 3 in jeans]).

A week and a half til real pre-professional ballet classes! Woot!!

Progress Update

Merry Christmas!

I FINALLY got to do a bit of ballet today. I've been so busy with the holidays and running around like crazy that I just haven't had the time to get any in lately- and I've hated it! I'm slowly but surely making progress. My turnout is definitely improving- I'm starting to feel it more regularly in my hips instead of legs, and I'm getting a little better maintaining turnout. Here are a few progress photos.

Improvements in turnout. But wow are my arms and shoulders tense! (Really waiting on feedback from a real teacher before I work much on my arms. Also, new leotard that's not a plain tank or short sleeve that actually fits nicely! It's got criss-crosses in the back. I'm thinking if I can find a high-neck camisole, I may actually feel comfortable in that.)

Right foot close to 90 degrees.

Left foot getting there. I can't really maintain such a decent turnout yet, but I'm still happy to be improving.

Real Ballet!

I've been putting something off partially because I'm a bit scared. Today, I finally went through with it. I went to the nicest ballet school we have in town and spoke to the director herself about taking classes. And guess what... starting the week of January 5th, I can start taking Level II classes twice a week!!

There was a real sense of finality to going in today. I've been avoiding it for quite awhile. I knew the adult class I took before would be more laid-back than regular ballet classes, so it wasn't that intimidating (other than getting over my fear of new social happenings). But this school, this is the real deal.

The director told me I could probably keep up with the Grade II girls. (The info sheet says they are around 9 years old.) She said that although they have had ballet for a year and a half now, as an adult, I should be able to keep up. (Note: This is a class I was debating on whether or not I would be put into it. The classes start at 5 on Tuesdays and Thursdays, which is the time I normally get off of work. So I am going to have to work on my schedule, and get off earlier than I am supposed to. Considering I have doctor appointments very often, my bosses have gotten used to my leaving early, so I hope to just slide this on in there. Plus, I will work lunch on those days... and I'm going to try to start going in earlier after the new year anyway.)

The director was very nice (though she and the other lady in the office kinda scoffed when I mentioned I'd been watching YouTube videos. I knew that would happen, but I do think there is a difference in watching some YouTube videos and actually studying the moves the videos are doing, getting other input to make sure they're being done correctly. I guess I'll see how much they've actually taught me soon). Short lady, short hair, small frame, quite ballet-like. She's got some experience at the Joffrey School and another one or two I recognize. I told her about the adult ballet class I took, and how it was more of a social event. She said that this wasn't like that: the girls behaved well, and she teaches everyone as though they are working towards being professional, even though most won't actually go that way. So everyone likely dances with more of a professional attitude, and I'm sure she works them pretty hard. This is exactly what I was wanting/hoping for/scared of! :)

The classes are going to be kinda expensive for me, especially since it's not a drop in thing but a monthly deal... and I will be taking two classes a week instead of one. But it's not too bad, considering. Only $90 for two hours a week. The Tuesday class also ends early enough for me to head on over to the class I've already tried (once the real instructor gets off maternity leave so the class is under control!), should I decide twice a week just isn't enough. (I also have a few classes in the other town about an hour away I can take, even one on Saturday, which is a good day for me to get out of town. I'll start with these two a week, and if I love it, I am going to add more. The more I can do, the closer I am to [hopefullymaybeoneday] going en pointe!)

So, she was very welcoming, and even sounded a little excited about me coming to class (unlike some of my other experiences *looking down their nose* "We only allow 14 and under", as if that's a real school!). She told me she would put me in between two of the girls who have been there longer and are more experienced so that I can follow them on both sides when we do barre.

I've been working on center exercises with Finis Jhung. These are almost certainly going to be more difficult for me than barre. I mostly get the hang of barre now (as best as I can not really having had any actual classes). The only center exposure I have right now is about three minutes in the class I took (where I did terribly), a few steps at a time with Finis, and very basic center with Tamra Chace.

But this is it! This is what I've been wanting! I can come up with the money (by buying fewer ballet outfits, haha). I can work it out with my work schedule. I can get the nerve to actually go. And, provided I really do love it as much as I am truly hoping, I'm on my way to being... a late ballerina! (Okay, well "ballerina" in my head, anyway.)

Oh, one more thing. The director is the founder of the primary ballet company in town. If I do well, one day, I just might be able to join! She seems like she wouldn't discriminate based on my age (the other schools I've called wouldn't let me take classes with younger people, but she didn't think twice). That's way down the road, if ever, but so are pointe shoes (worn with permission!) and I'm aiming for those! Shoot for the moon!

WOOOHOOOOOO!

(And now, time for ballet. This week I have not done nearly as much as I've wanted to! My mountain trip went marvelously, by the way. I did get some hiking in, but other than that and about an hour or so of ballet, I was just too damn relaxed to do much of anything else... and it was great!)

Inspiration

This is one of my favorite videos right now for inspiration:

And look, just LOOK at this amazing set:

Bolshoi Theater's set and costumes for Pyotr Tchaikovsky's "Sleeping Beauty"

I adore the movie Marie Antoinette because not only does it star one of my favorite actresses, Kirsten Dunst, but the costumes and the set and everything is just so colorful and opulent and breathtaking. The above photo nails it. Love it, and I so wish I could see this in person.

Classes, Taping My Knee

Not too much to write about right now. I've gotten into a bit of a rut, which scares me because usually when I get into a rut with something, I ditch it instead of moving through that, even though I know ruts don't last forever. I'm just kinda disheartened by the class. I feel like I may be doing things wrong, and I want some instruction. I think something like that would help encourage me. I also feel like I'm losing a little bit of the tone that I'd gained in my muscles due to not being as interested and thus not working as hard. I'm also discouraged because of my tibial torsion along with my swayback and the fact that I'm having trouble keeping those turnout muscles really engaged all the time I'm dancing. I feel like these are things someone can tell me how to fix, but I can't do on my own.

My mom happened to talk to a lady whose daughter goes to the ballet school where I tried a class. She said that the lady who normally teaches the adult class is on maternity leave, and there is a new (and pretty young) lady there taking her place for awhile. She said the new instructor probably just hasn't learned how to take control of the class yet. I can understand that. It'd be difficult to teach when everyone wanted to just hang out and chat, especially if you liked chatting as well. So, I may try another class and if that still doesn't go so well, I will try back in a month or so. Maybe by then the real instructor will have come back or maybe the new one will have gotten better at control. So that's a positive, at least: I just have to hold out awhile and the class that's right down the road from me will probably get a whole lot better.

My mom also asked me why I didn't just get some one-on-one lessons. I really can't afford a lot right now, but I think I am going to look into getting one or two one-hour private lessons, if they're not too expensive.

WOW! I was just looking up private lessons at the ballet schools around here and how did I miss this?? At the REALLY nice school that I'd prefer to go to anyway (it seems like the most prestigious in town) there's a fantastic-sounding paragraph I somehow missed. It says that adult students who can't take classes regularly can drop in on any of the elementary or advanced classes, for $15 or $20 respectively! I can get a class card, too, to pay in advance. (There's a $35 registration fee for any of that.) This sounds too good to be true- I thought I'd examined that website from top to bottom! This is great!! Maybe tomorrow's ballet will go better with this new knowledge!

The other real thing of note (besides that I scored a really cute leotard with matching shoulder gloves and a pair of black shorts with a little teal tutu I'm no so sure about- for $10 with shipping!) is: I'm about to try the taping method for my tibial torsion. I got several types of tape, and either tonight or tomorrow I am going to give it a shot. (Note: I did not get official kineseo tape, just some athletic tape.) Honestly, I feel like somehow my tibia got turned the wrong way and that the muscles now are just too weak to keep it in the right place. I can GET it into the right place, just using my muscles, but I can't KEEP it there. If this doesn't give me pain, especially the wrong kind of pain, I'll try keeping it on there for awhile. (I'll be taking photos of "before"... hopefully there's eventually enough improvement for "after" photos!)

Class tomorrow *gulp*

Since I couldn't get in touch with anyone about the adult ballet class any other way, I stopped by on my way home from work. That in itself is kinda major for me- I tend to get anxiety when it comes to doing new things around other people, or even going into new places. But I went in (it was PACKED with kids and their mothers all over the place- in, out, in the building, in class!!) and the young lady at the counter was one of those very easy to talk to people, and immediately made me feel better about stopping by, and about the place in general. She told me I can drop in, it's Tuesdays from 7:30-8:30, $10 a class, meet right where I was talking to her, it's kind of all levels, and I can wear whatever is comfortable though ballet slippers are encouraged. Sweet!

Then I came home and checked the mail. It's a sign: I'm meant for ballet! My new Leo's ballet slippers came in as did my brand new Euro pink convertible tights AND my pretty baby-blue leg warmers! (All for under $20 with shipping! The Leo's are usually $25, but I got them on eBay for $8. I have pretty much gotten everything ballet-related on eBay, except my first two leotards so I could see how they fit, my first pair of convertible tights, and the pointe shoes that actually fit. [I tried to eBay that and it didn't go so great, as you can imagine.][Or at least they fit my novice feet that have no clue what they're doing and could very well be not-so-great if I ever do get on pointe, but that's a long way off... and it all starts with my class tomorrow!])

Honestly, I didn't NEED new ballet slippers. But they were such a bargain, and I wanted to try a different brand!

These are going to look so cute just how the girl in the photo is wearing them, with my black leotard and black shorts on!

I'm really not too shy to wear a leotard, even though I have no clue if anyone else does. I am going to wear a short pair of dance shorts over everything, though. At least I will feel a little covered if no one else is dressed like me.

I'm nervous, but mostly... I'M EXCITED! Tomorrow is going to be very telling for me: will I be pursuing ballet, and in a classroom setting? Or will I hate it? Keep your fingers crossed that I'll love it!

Capezio Leotard

My new leotard came in. I LOVE IT. I'm a 34D but the rest of me is small. I can't wear camisole top styled leotards. This is the first I've ventured out past short sleeve/thick tank sleeves, and it's great! It flattens me some, without smooshing, there's a V shape in the front, which I usually don't like but it doesn't go down too far at all, and I love the low cut in the back! Score! (The downside, I suspect though, is going to be a big one: I sweat A LOT, and I'm betting it's going to show A LOT. I guess I should figure it out at home before trying it in class.)

The Clam & Pretty Gear!

I tried to do this recently, and had trouble with it. But I keep reading about it, so tonight I'm going to commit to... The Clam. It's supposed to be extremely good for those deep hip rotators, and making sure you're accessing them correctly.

AND I finally ordered this really cute leotard I've been eying on eBay for $15-16 with free shipping. (I forget who from, but they have more!) It looks like it might just be in already today!

I love the color AND the low-cut back! This will be my first one that isn't black and either the traditional tank or short sleeve. I do sweat a lot, so I'm wondering if that's going to look just awful, forcing me into only black. I also got some of these in case I start next week- I still haven't decided whether I can/should go braless or not...

And these were only $8. They're Leo's, which I don't know much about but a well-known ballet studio I saw recently requires Leo's, so they must be pretty decent. I will see! Oh, and legwarmers will be in soon, too. Only $1 plus a few dollars shipping, light blue.

Posture lingerie

I just had to post this. I looked up "posture lingerie", and sure enough, it's a thing! I REALLY love the full bodysuits (both the ones with and without legs), but those are over $100. :( However, for basically the price of a bra, they have a camisole that works all the way from your shoulders to lower back. (I don't get any money or benefits from posting this- they've never heard of me, but just wanted to share.) I wonder how well it works??

Here's a good, short link on forcing turnout.