Surviving Parent's Night, Today's Success at Discipline

Parent's Night
Just a quick note: my ballet practice today went wonderfully. Actually, let me back up: parent's night was lovely as well. My mom did attend, which was fun, and there weren't really but a couple of other parents there (including one with a super nice camera... please don't post my splits online or anywhere!) I messed up on quite a few things, but that was okay. We also have another adult, which makes for three of us now!

We go over terminology over and over and over again in class. For some reason, these kids just can't pick up the one-word definitions of "frappe", "petite", "degage", etc. I still have a few I mix up (frappe is one, actually), but for the most part, I know all of the definitions. So much of class, we all just stand there while the instructor calls out on of the kids who she knows struggles with the definitions, and we wait while the little girl (or boy) stands there doe-eyed as she pries the definition out. This happens with nearly every single movement we do. Tendus: "what does tendu mean?... Anyone... ***....? .................." Petite battements: "what does tendu mean?... Anyone... ***....? .................." On and on and on. It really eats up class time, and is a bit frustrating at times. I want to make these kids flashcards or something. I would, if I thought they might use it.

Anyway, on parent's night this time (this didn't happen previously), we barely went over any terms! Maybe two or three total! And it was wonderful! I worked so hard because instead of stopping so much for so long, we just went from movement to movement to movement. I was far more sore the day after than I usually am! I can't wait for all our classes to be like that!

I had my mom record a few of the movements I still have problems with, like the body positions. I haven't checked those out yet, but I nearly have them down. We are supposed to do a demonstration at the end of the ballet year. Positions are one of my lesser concerns, because it's very easy to sneak peaks at what the other students do, without being too out of sync. Unlike with, say, pas de bourree, where if you mess up and go the wrong way, it's super obvious.

Today's Practice (at home)
So today, I wasn't at all sure what I was going to do, or if I was even going to do any practice. I was doing some plies at my barre and decided what the heck, I'd get dressed and work some. Practice went so well. I just made up my own routine, and listened to some of the classical music I have. I did quite a few plies and tendus- I went through those two or three times on both sides. Especially with the tendus: they are easy enough to do... but I wanted to work on actually leading with my heel and keeping my foot on the floor as long as possible before bringing it up so my toe was on the ground.

Rond de jambes: I worked on really getting that turnout. The movement seems so easy, but it's difficult for me to remember to turn out as soon as I possibly can and as much as I possibly can.

Frappes: Worked on these as well. With my frappe, I think I flex my foot too much when it's at my ankle. My instructor recently told me to strike the foot farther out, so I worked on that and smoothly brushing it on the floor before coming up. This one's a little hard to do on carpet!

Chasses: I've almost had down our chasses in class- we do them a certain way, in a certain order. But I've also been struggling with these. I've understood the direction we had to move, but it wasn't making sense to me what foot crossed in front when. And then our instructor said something last class that gave me an "aha!" moment: the first half, the left foot is chasing the right and the second half, the right chases the left. With just that short description, I now have the movement down pretty well.

[Description: Start in 5th, right foot in front, arms down in preparatory. Plie. Glide forward (in plie), leading with the right foot, bringing arms up to first (fingers at naval... I just looked this up and realized my arms have been too high!). Quickly bring left foot back to fifth (in the back). With right foot, glide into second plie, arms out. Close to fifth (prep arms), this time with right leg in back. Now reverse that, using the left foot to lead and going to the left instead of right. (See, I kept trying to put the wrong foot in back when gliding into second.)

There are two ways we do this, both actually have an extra step that what I said above: à terre and en l'air. In à terre, before closing the non-leading foot to fifth, we tendu the non-working leg. So if I'm going forward with right foot, I'll glide forward, tendu back with my left leg, and quickly close. Glide right, tendu with left leg, close left foot in front. Glide back with right foot, tendu left foot to the front, snap it back to fifth in front. En l'air is the same, except we dégagé instead of tendu.]

Adagio: Finally (after doing my chasses over and over and over again), I went on to our adagio. We do this one both at the barre and in center. It's a passe through retire then the working leg extends up (grande battement?) and then releve (rise up on our standing leg). It's done front, side, back, side. At the barre, instead of passe, we petite battement, sous-sus (feet jump up- releve- in a tight fifth position), spot, and turn. I practiced that one last week. I was having a lot of trouble getting down what happened after the back, and now I have that one nailed- and my spotting has improved as well! (When in center, instead of spotting and turning around, we [try to] stay in releve, do a few short port de bras, then close in the opposite fifth and do it all on the other leg. )

Our adagio has been really difficult for me! I mentioned we do it à terre AND en l'air (in the air)... and I've barely even been able to do just à terre! So today, I did it over and over again- almost totally in the air. I've still got a long way to go, but I'm more or less able to do the movements without having to put my foot down so much for balance.

In summary (I think I am a bit over-explanatory sometimes... I used to write A LOT but now this blog is pretty much the only writing I do nowadays. I hope to improve as I continue on), I'm super proud of myself because today, I showed a lot of discipline! Not just that, but I was totally in the zone doing it. Sometimes I can try things but have my mind elsewhere, wanting to be doing other things. Sometimes the music that came on wasn't fitting for whatever I was doing, so I either turned it off for a while or I just ignored it (instead of allowing myself to become distracted by trying to find the perfect music or something). Today, I was disciplined! Here's to more of that in the future, and more often!

Now to nail my pas de bourres! I was only just starting to get the hang of the two we've been doing, and now there are two more! Slowly, I can do them. But when we are in center, we do all four in a row, and my feet start getting tangled up! I can do this, though. My boyfriend is convincing me I should, indeed, do the demonstration/performance at the end of the ballet year in May... and I think I just might. I think it's just the encouragement I need to really work hard to improve!

Parent's Night, Remembering Class

So my last class proved to be quite different from normal classes. I somehow skipped the memo that it was parent's night. (I think it was actually on the paper that we were given something-something-parent's-something-parking-parent's, whatever, it didn't seem to pertain to me at the time.) I was settling in on the floor as the girls were positioning themselves, and I was starting in on my ankle rolls (god, those still hurt!) and the parent's were coming in and sitting in the chairs. "Is it parent's night?" I asked my little red-headed friend. She nodded her head. "Oh! I'm a little nervous now!" I told her, and she giggled at me.

So there we were, on the floor under the barre, doing our ankle rolls, myself towering above all the others (and I'm not in bad shape, but when surrounded by little nine-year-olds with pretty much no fat on their bodies, I look like a big, fat giant next to them!) One of the parents is staring at me, and I stare back at her, but it was an odd stare standoff because I knew she was staring and she knew I knew she was staring but she wasn't quite making eye contact with me, just staring at my face somewhere. While still staring at me, she asked the instructor something, who replied "oh, no, she's a student!" and then they kept talking, but too low for me to hear, and the lady kept staring at me! So that was a little awkward and I'd love to know what was said. At least one of the other parents looked impressed and said something about "exercise", but that was all I heard. All in all, I'm really glad there were no fathers there, because I would definitely have felt awkward.

I happened to have on my most modest leotard, thank goodness, and I'd also not forgotten to put on my silicone nipple covers (I just ordered more- those are sooooo handy! My first class got very weird when I noticed my nipples were shining through). I even had on a sports bra I usually don't wear, because the wide crossed straps in the back are obvious, but on this night I was glad for the extra modesty. (Don't get me wrong, I'm never ever dressed inappropriately- I won't even wear a camisole, remember? But a couple of leotards are a little lower in the front, which only proves a slight problem when we lay on the floor for our back exercises, and I have to be sure to pull the neck up a touch or the slightest cleavage will show.) I'd also happened to take a bit of extra anxiety medication, so it didn't go too bad.

I did get called out a little more than normal, but that was okay- I was doing things incorrectly. I kinda blew a few things in the center. When we do center, I usually have to follow the one girl who is very good, or another one of the girls if she isn't in front of me. The slower movements like our arabesques go fine enough, but with the faster-paced things (like pas de bourres), it can take me a few beats to figure out what we are doing. On this night, though, it took me more than  a few beats when I messed up, and I had more trouble than usual on center. But I didn't let it bring me down! I was glad when class was over, though, and made my way out quickly after curtseying to our wonderful instructor.

So today is Saturday and I am trying to go through in my head what we do in class and write it down so I can work on it. I know we do plie, tendu, degage... and then the order gets hazy for me. I do know we also do ronde de jamb and frappes... and then it gets very hazy. I'm thinking we do passé developpe but there is also something before that, two somethings I can't quite think of... Oh, awesome. I'd been looking at that linked video in a playlist and came across one of the movements: it's just a passé. So that comes before the passé developpe. Now for the other I can't remember. It's like the passé but our leg doesn't come up into retire. So I'm just missing one for barre (although I'm not sure the proper preparation for each of them), and our last one is, I believe, an echappe sous-sus? It's done facing the barre, 1) spring up from fifth to sous-sus 2) spring back down to fifth 3) echappe? (both feet go out away from each other) 4) spring back down to opposite fifth... spring up, don't change fifth, spring out, change fifth, etc.

Center, of course, gets more difficult, and it changes up. But I know we do: our arabesques, positions of the body on stage, the echappe sous-sus or whatever we do at the barre but in the center, and our port de bras, which I allllmost have down. I'm going to try those today because I like them and I really want to have them down without having to watch the other girl. (I'm sorry, friend! I know it must be awkward to constantly have a grown-up staring at you and trying to follow along, especially if you make a mistake that's highlighted because two of us are doing it!)

So yep, that's where I'm at today. Still not having time to practice every night, but I'm working on getting more and more stretching and/or exercises in during the week.

My First Classes!

I know you, my dear (eventual, at least) reader, have been on the edge of your seat waiting to hear how my first classes have gone, the ones with the second year nine year olds. And I'm here to let you know...

I LOVE IT!!!

All of my fears went out the window just about as soon as we started the first class. First of all, my teacher (whom I'd met before) was very nice and put me at ease. I was feeling a little shy, but she told me to go ahead and take off my shirt to get to just my leotard/tights/slippers, and told me to get behind one girl who is very good, and in front of another girl (who was good as well, though not to the first's level).

Everyone (about six or eight children total, all girls except one boy, and I'm the oldest one by decades) was already on the floor starting their warmups. (I did a half-hearted warm up prior to class, but there were moms around and it was my first day there and I felt too nervous to do much the first day.) Almost immediately, I saw one thing I need to work on: ankle rolls! I've always done maybe 5-10 in then out at a time. Nope, not here. We start each class with 64 counts in and 64 counts out. OUCH! (Luckily, this is something I can work on while sitting in my chair at work.)

Our barre exercises were so much fun! From what I've gathered, the girls have been working on the same basics every class. They say a little chant of what each foot is doing as it moves (touch back, touch front, etc), and we've gone from tendus to plies to frappes to petite battements sur le-cou-de-pied to rond de jambes and a few others I'm forgetting. The exercises are quite a bit different from what I've been doing. I don't quite have them down yet, but it's definitely doable.

Note: What I just mentioned is THE best thing about my class. I can do the exercises, but I don't have them down yet- the order, the making it look pretty. So it's just right: difficult, but not overly so.

With the barre, I am having trouble with my arms and head. I only touched on that with my online classes and DVDs and am not used to doing it more frequently. I'm already getting the hang of some of the movements, but when we get to more complicated foot patterns, I focus on that and try to keep my arms in second or first (though sometimes they are all over the place).

After barre, we moved to the center: two rows, me behind the proficient girl. The center was more difficult for me, as I suspected it would be, but again, not overly so. Mostly, it's a matter of learning the order of each exercise, and then with the center, balance is another issue I'll be working on. The hardest thing for me as far as balance goes has been maintaining it while doing grand plies, especially fifth. Luckily, that's something I can work on at home. I also have trouble with my arabesques, but I'm quickly picking up the arm positions- I almost have the general placement down and then it will be time to fine-tune that.

Finally, we did some movements across the room diagonally, both ways. The first thing we did was a little three-step skip thing. The next one was way harder for me- I was totally lost. I told the little girl behind me to go ahead in front of me, so I could watch a little longer. (She is ADORABLE! Cute little girl with long, curly red hair! She's one of the staff's daughters.) She looked up at me with big eyes and whispered, "We have to go together." And so we did.

The only time I really felt out of place some (and honestly, this would have happened even if I was their age) was when everyone did splits. Only myself and one little girl cannot do at least one split- we hover a foot above what everyone else can do. I knew that would happen, and I knew I would compare myself, but I'm already working on that. (Okay, well, I feel a little out of place when I'm looking in the mirror, and towering over everyone. I think I've gained a little weight- it fluctuates- and I think I've gained a little extra muscle mass in my legs, so not only am I taller than everyone, my weight really stands out, too. Yes, I know I'm an adult, but... ok, I'm self-conscious about the way I look!)

Tonight's class was a lot easier in terms of my anxiety. I left work a little earlier than planned and ran home and changed. I arrived at the studio early, and spent time doing some decent stretching. I was just on the hall floor, and then the little redhead comes over to me and opens the door to another studio room and tells me that's where we usually go and warm up. So we went in there and I was warming up and the little girls were making their way in and warming up, playing on the barre, talking.

Tonight went pretty much the same (though we didn't have to do awkward grand plies, yay!). I did better at keeping up, though I still have a ways to go. I got a few corrections tonight, which did not happen in my first class. (I'm also trying to take in any corrections she gives others and apply them to myself, as long as I'm not totally wrapped up in just trying to get a movement down.) My little red-headed friend seemed happy that we partnered again (her mother told me she'd been all excited that we were partners the first class!). At the very end of the class, my teacher went over that last diagonal movement we do. It involves a plie, a tendu, two steps, a half-turn while switching to a third step with the other foot, a very small arabesque, two backwards steps, and a half-turn switching feet to land in a plie with tendu. (Whew!) Luckily, my little friend brought me into the extra studio room after class and she pretended she was the teacher. First, she showed me side by side how to do it. (And didn't complain when I asked her to do it several more times with me.) Then, she sat in the teacher's chair and played teacher. She helped me with it some more next to me, and another girl came in to work on it with us. I lingered a bit in the hallway as everyone was leaving, practicing this step so I could work on it this weekend, with four days in between classes. And I pretty much have it down! I'm SO glad my friend showed me. It's one of those things I am definitely going to have to do over and over to pick it up (and that's before actually making it look somewhat pretty), but I have the steps in my head in the right order, and that's half the battle.

So yes, totally psyched about ballet! I'm definitely not ready for the next level, and am definitely fine staying in this one until I'm ready to progress. I'm going to try not to rush my progress and rush getting into the next class, for I know that the longer you work on your basics, the better a foundation you'll have (especially once en pointe- provided I make it that far, which I do hope!)

My self-teaching has definitely helped me. One thing I've been doing incorrectly, though, has been my rond de jambes en dedans- my toe is supposed to come more in front of the toe of my standing leg, so I'll be relearning that some. I've also been using third instead of fifth, but we work from fifth even though none of us have 180* turnout.

So yep, that's how my first two classes have gone. I love going, I'm already getting more comfortable, I already have something new to work on (oh, plus some port de bras in the different stage positions, if I can remember... along with terminology- she quizzes the little girls on that a lot, and they stumble over it), and I'm definitely more motivated now to stretch!

Today's ballet...

I found myself cutting things a little short last night. I expect perfection from myself, and the ability to do things days after learning, and that lack of patience is just not going to cut it. As an example, yesterday evening, I was working on doing some things on demi-pointe. Really basic stuff- tendus, plies, frappes. And it's HARD to balance on demi. I was at my barre, and I was getting frustrated at my lack of ability to let go without falling sideways.

I've also been working on Finis Jhung's first beginner DVD, and (too cool! I am sitting outside on my laptop, it's fall, and there's a huge flock of sparrows, the seem to be. They all got in two of the trees, and suddenly, they all TOOK OFF in two separate groups, one one way and the other the other, meeting up on another tree. The WHOOSH of their wings was absolutely incredible. My dog, an 8-month-old pit bull pup, is in awe!) he gets to doing some pretty complicated (for a beginner) moves. While doing the moves, he asks us to see if we can lift up just a bit on our heels- while already standing on one foot, and moving the other leg around. It's very difficult, though it LOOKS quite simple, and as I said, I expect way too much from myself and got frustrated when I wasn't able to do what he was asking.

I DID manage to do pretty well on the eight lesson on the DVD, which was the first time I really felt like I was "doing ballet". That one is complicated, too, and I only got it really well once, so I plan to go back soon and work on that until I really have it down.

I always start with Ballet Barre Workout by Lisa Maree on YouTube. As of right now, today's workout, I am on a quick break from Beginner Ballet Year One Lesson 3 (Center) with Tamra Chase. I like the center work because it is still difficult but not impossible for me to do. Even some of her barre work I still do not have the strength to do. But I'm really working on my form today and some of the lesson I skipped over before I am now working on really getting down (like the epaulments and port de bra en face and en croix).

This is supposed to be fun for me, and I need to get over the fact that it can be monotonous. This has always been my problem before: I learn some to be able to say I've done it, but when it comes to perfecting, refining the technique, I get bored and move onto something else. (This is a theme in my life.) But I still REALLY want to get more flexible and graceful, I really want to eventually get on pointe (yes, I know there are no promises and maybe I shouldn't make that a goal- especially considering I've never even had an actual live class, but it is), I really want to be able to hold beautiful poses, and I'd really love to perform even something small one day. I've always lacked self-discipline in my life, and through ballet, I hope to gain that.

Legs are heavy!

Yesterday evening went better than the previous evening. I made it all the way through "Year One Lesson Three (Barre)". I like the faster rond de jambes. I'm having a lot of trouble with two of the parts, though, and those will be my focus of the week. The first one are frappes. Holding the upper thigh in the air gets tough, especially to the side and rear. It makes sense, of course. When have I EVER had to make my legs move into that position? (Never.) So I spent the rest of my time after the class was over working on my side and rear frappes, including getting as close to a 90 degree angle as possible (I don't know what the position is called... but I've seen it used and it's a good exercise for building those muscles anyway.)

The second is a demi plie into tendu and up into releve. I've been working a lot on my calves, even at work, so I don't know why this is so hard for me- maybe it's the demi plie first then up into releve in fifth. By the last one my calves burn and I can barely get a good releve (aside from this, though, I've noticed my releves are definitely improving! It is almost a straight line down my leg through to my toes, whereas when I first started, there was a definite angle at my ankles!) I've been doing a ton of releves, but now I'm going to make my focus doing the demi plies to tendu right up into releve in fifth.

The latter is also troublesome for me because at the end of doing it on one leg, we are supposed to be in fifth and turn our bodies around so we can work on the other leg. I was really confused when I first saw this- but now I can execute the turn, I just have trouble making sure I'm in fifth on the other side when I turn. So I am going to work on that as well.

I've been doing one class a week. I think I will work on this one for longer since it really seems to be a lot harder for me than the first two classes. Also, my Finis Jhung DVD should be in soon. I hope it doesn't start off super hard. If not, I will follow up Chace's lesson with one from that DVD each night.

Quick post!

Thinking about ballet when I should be working! :D It was really inspirational to read the Remedial Ballerina's post about her third class and how she couldn't get up from a grande plie in second- I know the feeling! This is one of the reasons I want to go ahead and build up strength BEFORE I take classes. I'm learning EXACTLY what I need to work on as far as strength training, and I won't be spending class time behind because I can't keep up as far as strength goes.

Also, I spent a lot of time yesterday working on positions and moves with my leg behind my back and raised. I believe I was doing (or attempting) rear frappes and moving (low, shaky and wavering) attitudes from the front to the rear, but focusing on the rear. I was going with what seemed to work my rear the most, and to work the muscles required to lift my legs into those positions- I'm having a lot of trouble with them. Within an hour or two after I quit, my lower back was really hurting- it didn't seem to be a good ache, either. My mom brought over some sort of emu oil or something? and rubbed it in my back. My pain was pretty much gone in about twenty minute- it really helped. I will post what it was when I find out.

I need to take it a little easier on the exercises that compress my lower back- and, I think more importantly, to make sure I stretch it the opposite way, elongating it, when I do those exercises.

Weak! :D

I'm making my way right on through "Year One, Lesson Two". I'm excited... I'm totally getting the hang of everything! I can do this! Confident in myself, I proceed to "Year One, Lesson Three Barre". (This is the first lesson that has a Barre video and a Center video). It's going a little faster and I'm keeping up, even when she only speaks some of the moves instead of showing it all. I have to skip the double tendus- the video cuts off her feet and I can't see what I am supposed to be doing. My rond de jambes are getting more consistent: we've (me and my online instructor! Ha!) been doing them very slowly: front-two-three-four, side-two-three-four. I decided to check out another video the other day to see if I could get any more tips and I saw what a real rond de jambe looks like- wow! Not like what I've been doing. But today, they improved some!

So then we get to tendu with a plie and up to demi, going pretty speedy. I'm going the right speed... but my calves are getting tired already. They can't keep up! My calves have always been one of my strongest spots, thanks to years of speed skating when I was younger. But I see very quickly just how little strength I have- and that's in my strongest muscles! (I do give myself credit for figuring out the turning part- I practiced that one a few times without the video- I need to work on my technique, but I have the gist!)

The next exercises are even harder! My confidence is quickly hit. Actually, it was hit when my calves started going out so soon. Frappes! My legs are SO heavy! All the photos I've been looking at make it seem as though legs are weightless... that's so far from the truth! Hahahah! So yeah, time to do some strength stuff- including some frappes!

(Note: I took off the past two days- I've been so sleepy, and just could not get my butt up to work! But I woke up this morning determined to not only put in at least a couple of hours, but to do so AFTER installing my mirror. Yes, I now have a nearly perfect-length mirror on the wall that my barre is on- it fits right in between my barre with like an inch to spare on either side! I can see my feet very well in it, and my arms up to my wrists. It's perfect! Now all I need is a hard platform and I'll be set- working on carpet seems to be more difficult than when I try in my kitchen.)