Ballet Class Today *gulp*

Depression has been kicking in hardcore lately, and I've barely left the house. I go through phases of interests in activities, and I've recently gotten back into hiking. When I "get into" something, I obsess over it. When I obsess over it, other objects of obsession drift to the background for awhile, until I come back to them. So I've been obsessing over hiking, while ballet has taken second place to it.

For months now, I have been looking SO forward to TODAY, my first ballet class in months, and the first one I can take consistently in a long time. I think partially it's my depression trying to talk me out of my love and enjoyment of ballet: "Hiking (which I'm mostly putting off the majority of until the weather gets a bit warmer, and thus is something I could use as a tool for procrastination) is so much more feasible for you than ballet," my mind is telling me. "You're never going to get far with it because you have so much trouble going consistently. It just isn't for you. You've shown in the past that you can't stick with it consistently, disciplined. That's okay- you should just find something that doesn't take up quite so much time and dedication (and something that's not 30 minutes away)."

My mind keeps running: "You were working so hard there for awhile, when you moved back here and started going to the gym. But then you stopped, all that hard work for nothing- all those hours at the barre and it's going to be like you're basically a beginner tonight. Class is only an hour, and only twice a week. How will you progress? Do you even want to? Was this just a pipe dream?"

All of this crap running through my head. I knew one of the reasons I'd decide to stay home is simple comfort. It's cold outside, and it's warm and cozy inside. I remedied this by going ahead and getting dressed for ballet. Discount Dance recently had a sale on a few things I've been wanting, one of which was a sports bra made for dance. My VS Sports bras are usually great, but they make my breasts look HUGE in class, and I'm already trying to counteract my tilted pelvis, so I've been wanting something that provides some compression AND support. Bonus points if I can wear it under leotard styles beyond the basic short sleeve or high-back tank. This one is made by Baltogs, and I LOVE it!

It gives lots of support when I jump (as long as I have a leotard over it as well, and it looks great under a couple of lace-back leotards I have. I'll try to get a photo of the rest of my outfit tonight later on.

I still don't know how to get in a decent warmup before class. The hall in my school is very narrow and crowded. My gym is too far away- I'd be cold again by the time I got to class.

Anyway, in conclusion, just by putting on my leotard, I feel a lot more into going to class than I did before. And I know I'll feel better afterwards- I pretty much always do. In anticipation of feeling some soreness tomorrow, I went ahead and booked a Pilates mat class for in the morning!

More: Tibial Torsion, Anterior Pelvic Tilt

DISCLAIMER: I am not a doctor. I have no medical training. I do NOT recommend anyone to attempt anything I am about to discuss in this post. To do so could provide serious injury! Furthermore, should I post at a later time positive results from attempting the things described in this post, this still does not mean I recommend anyone trying anything here. I have personally done a lot of research on what I will be attempting (I have exceptional research abilities including the ability to decipher professional jargon and understand it), but since I have never been trained, I could totally be screwing up. "Screwing up" can result in serious injuries and the possibility that if something were to go wrong, I may not be able to dance anymore. I accept these risks personally, but again- I do NOT recommend ANYONE to attempt this on your own and without the help of a trained professional.

I've been reading more on tibial torsion and anterior pelvic tilt. This video is short and simple and says that the rotation of my foot outwards (tibial torsion) can be caused by an IT band that is too tight. That makes sense.

I've also been reading about kinesio taping. I mentioned that I tried it before on my knee, and it did indeed turn my knee out some. But I've been reading more and decided to order real kinesio tape, along with leukotape, which is mentioned often. I got four boxes of KT on eBay, precut at 2" x 10", with 20 per box. It was $25 and seemed like the best deal; most of what I want to try (so far) involves strips about that long. The LT was $10, and I didn't get nearly as much, but I can always get more.

I totally don't recommend doing this, but I'm taking the DIY approach here. No, I have no training in what I'm going to do, but it honestly doesn't look that difficult. The hardest part seems to be how much to stretch the tape, so I'll take it easy and hardly stretch it at all. As for where it goes, I've found two sources that pretty much tell me what I need to know.

This (pdf) discusses a study that was done on taping to fix anterior pelvic tilt (with positive results). The actual instructions for taping are on page 8, and while I haven't had to use terms like "medially" and "obliquely" in quite some time, I think I can figure it out. There is also a handy photo showing what it looks like on page 20.

As for the tibial torsion, I will use the video I used before along with this (pdf). The tibial torsion taping is explained starting on page 52. (This video shows how to make a "tab".) There are also a lot of different techniques given for different issues, but I'm only focused on these two.

So I think I have enough info to work with, although I will continue researching. (Note that the links I have posted are not the sum total of all I've read by any means.) I'm excited for my tape to come in, and- of course- will post updates on all of this once I have everything and get going!

Classes, Taping My Knee

Not too much to write about right now. I've gotten into a bit of a rut, which scares me because usually when I get into a rut with something, I ditch it instead of moving through that, even though I know ruts don't last forever. I'm just kinda disheartened by the class. I feel like I may be doing things wrong, and I want some instruction. I think something like that would help encourage me. I also feel like I'm losing a little bit of the tone that I'd gained in my muscles due to not being as interested and thus not working as hard. I'm also discouraged because of my tibial torsion along with my swayback and the fact that I'm having trouble keeping those turnout muscles really engaged all the time I'm dancing. I feel like these are things someone can tell me how to fix, but I can't do on my own.

My mom happened to talk to a lady whose daughter goes to the ballet school where I tried a class. She said that the lady who normally teaches the adult class is on maternity leave, and there is a new (and pretty young) lady there taking her place for awhile. She said the new instructor probably just hasn't learned how to take control of the class yet. I can understand that. It'd be difficult to teach when everyone wanted to just hang out and chat, especially if you liked chatting as well. So, I may try another class and if that still doesn't go so well, I will try back in a month or so. Maybe by then the real instructor will have come back or maybe the new one will have gotten better at control. So that's a positive, at least: I just have to hold out awhile and the class that's right down the road from me will probably get a whole lot better.

My mom also asked me why I didn't just get some one-on-one lessons. I really can't afford a lot right now, but I think I am going to look into getting one or two one-hour private lessons, if they're not too expensive.

WOW! I was just looking up private lessons at the ballet schools around here and how did I miss this?? At the REALLY nice school that I'd prefer to go to anyway (it seems like the most prestigious in town) there's a fantastic-sounding paragraph I somehow missed. It says that adult students who can't take classes regularly can drop in on any of the elementary or advanced classes, for $15 or $20 respectively! I can get a class card, too, to pay in advance. (There's a $35 registration fee for any of that.) This sounds too good to be true- I thought I'd examined that website from top to bottom! This is great!! Maybe tomorrow's ballet will go better with this new knowledge!

The other real thing of note (besides that I scored a really cute leotard with matching shoulder gloves and a pair of black shorts with a little teal tutu I'm no so sure about- for $10 with shipping!) is: I'm about to try the taping method for my tibial torsion. I got several types of tape, and either tonight or tomorrow I am going to give it a shot. (Note: I did not get official kineseo tape, just some athletic tape.) Honestly, I feel like somehow my tibia got turned the wrong way and that the muscles now are just too weak to keep it in the right place. I can GET it into the right place, just using my muscles, but I can't KEEP it there. If this doesn't give me pain, especially the wrong kind of pain, I'll try keeping it on there for awhile. (I'll be taking photos of "before"... hopefully there's eventually enough improvement for "after" photos!)

Swayback/Lordosis

I have been using the terms "swayback" and "lumbar hyperlordosis" interchangeably. The terms may mean different things (IANAD- I am not a doctor!). But they are very similar and I don't know which one I have, but once I figure it out I will use the correct term.

And today's the day of my first ballet class! This evening will very possibly have a big impact on my life: if I love the class, ballet is possibly going to become even more important in my life. I will likely be spending even more time actually doing ballet- and more time and money getting to ballet class. (I'm already considering driving an hour or so to next Monday's ballet class in the other town that's nearby. It's an hour and a half long class- definitely more worth the two hour round-trip drive than just a one-hour class. It's also at that really awesome-sounding place that lets adults try out for the pre-professional level classes, the only one of the sort I have seen anywhere close by!)

Now, if I don't like it... I don't know. I don't know what will happen. Maybe I will see if I like the class out of town more, and just try to get there as much as I can. Maybe... if... what if I don't like ballet at all???

Ha, yeah, I worry too much. I'm sure it will go fine tonight. I hope so! (Maybe I will be able to move on to better posts as well... since I've already got nearly 50 posts on my ballet blog and yet I have never even taken a single ballet class! I may actually hate ballet! LOL)

I did all of Finis Jhung's DVD exercises at least once. (I like his rond de jambes too!) I watched the previews for a bunch of his videos and decided to just go ahead and exchange the beginner barrework for beginner center work. It seems to be "dancier". So that will be in soon. I should probably write a review here for the first one. I'll try to get to that.

Tibial torsion... taping?

I've been really focused on this tibial torsion, if you can't tell. What's interesting to me is that I can actually twist my knee around to the place it should be at. I was looking up more videos on it and came across this one. Judging by his uploads, he seems to be a massage therapist. No, I don't believe a random massage therapist on the internet is an expert on anatomy, but he is doing something that actually occurred to me to do: taping the knee and surrounding area to it's ideal position on someone with T.T. He says that T.T. occurs because the sartoris, gracilis, and semitendinosus (hamstring) muscles are weak, and not pulling the knee where it is supposed to be. (I've heard the hamstring mentioned regarding this a lot- no clue about the other muscles.)

Lately, when I've been stretching my left leg, I've been focusing on using my leg muscles to turn my tibia externally. I am able to do this; I don't need to use my hands, so this tells me it IS possible to get the knee back in place. It seems like, well, just what he's said and others have said- certain muscles are weak and certain muscles are too tight.

In the video, traylbodywork shows himself taping a patient's knee into the right position. I recently considered doing something like this myself, but wasn't sure if it was a good or at least decent idea, or a terrible one. But apparently, "Kineseo Taping" is a thing. I'm intrigued.

I was about to whip out some duct tape this evening, but I don't want to mess with my class tomorrow. This could be a very bad idea. It could mess up my knee even worse. But my intuition tells me there is something to it. After class tomorrow (or the next evening), I am going to be my own guinea pig. I'm going to try this taping business out. While continuing to focus on it the way I have been. I'm really convinced this is fixable. We're going to find out! (I am going to try to take some decent photos before I try this so I can have something for comparison in the future.)

The Clam & Pretty Gear!

I tried to do this recently, and had trouble with it. But I keep reading about it, so tonight I'm going to commit to... The Clam. It's supposed to be extremely good for those deep hip rotators, and making sure you're accessing them correctly.

AND I finally ordered this really cute leotard I've been eying on eBay for $15-16 with free shipping. (I forget who from, but they have more!) It looks like it might just be in already today!

I love the color AND the low-cut back! This will be my first one that isn't black and either the traditional tank or short sleeve. I do sweat a lot, so I'm wondering if that's going to look just awful, forcing me into only black. I also got some of these in case I start next week- I still haven't decided whether I can/should go braless or not...

And these were only $8. They're Leo's, which I don't know much about but a well-known ballet studio I saw recently requires Leo's, so they must be pretty decent. I will see! Oh, and legwarmers will be in soon, too. Only $1 plus a few dollars shipping, light blue.

Hyperlordosis/Swayback

Here is a great thread on lordosis/swayback. One user posts a link to this photo, which simply explains what's going on with a swayback:

I am convinced that the swayback is affecting the tibial torsion I'm experiencing, which is totally screwing up the turnout on my left leg. Basically, my ab muscles are weak (which allows my pelvis to drop down/back), my lower back muscles are tight (very true, one of my favorite places to have deep massage) which pulls my pelvis up in the rear.

My glutes are weak (I'm working on this one, but I definitely have something going on there- placed a tennis ball in the middle and sat with my other leg crossed over my upright knee- ow! but in a good way), and have been for awhile- any weight I've gained in the past ten years has usually gone towards that. I like to think I've had a cute butt, but it was more from the swayback than the muscle. (There wasn't hardly any muscle!)

And all of that affects my hip rotators, the other spot marked as "weak" up there. And of course that certainly affects turnout!

Here's another article suggesting that the way one sleeps can cause/increase swayback- specifically, by lying on one's stomach. And guess how I prefer to sleep? The article also points out that "From the side, we could simply say the body’s center of mass is being pushed forward. With that, it’s very common for the feet to be turned out and or the knees to be turned in. (This isn’t so much part of being a “swayback” as it is common postural / movement issues.)... A less obvious connection is at the feet. When sleeping on the stomach it’s very likely the feet are going to turn out."

All very true! I'm almost positive I prefer to sleep on my stomach, more specifically on my stomach with my left side jacked up some on a pillow being used body-pillow-style. Sleeping like that would be more likely to have my knee pointing downwards from gravity, with my ankle and foot pointed to the outside. And I'm pretty sure I also sleep on my stomach the regular way, which has me doing the above. I really liked that article- throughout it I was like "yes, that's me, yes, yes!"

I'm working on my posture today, and attempted to be careful how I slept last night. (I do remember waking up and saying to myself I'm too tired to get it right and went right back to sleep in my "comfy" position. Which is fine- I'm just now starting this.) I read another article (this one from the Gokhale Method website- I've come across this one a bit lately) saying basically to envision the ribcage like an egg (with swayback, the ribs/bottom of the egg points outward/front, and the top tilts back towards the back) put your fingers on your lower ribcage and focus on pulling the lower part towards the abs (instead of tilting the pelvis itself). That's what I'm trying. It hurts already.

I'm kinda concerned about this posture thing. For one, like I said, it hurts. Yes, it's supposed to but I really don't want to go through this pain only to not be doing it correctly and having to relearn it again. I'm considering a physical therapist or pilates or something...

My notes on Anteverted Hips

Here is a picture showing anteverted hips:

Swayback usually results in the gluteal muscles being underused (atrophy). Hip extension in the prone position activates the hamstring muscles before the gluteal muscles. Should actively contract the gluteus at heel impact when walking. Predisposed to hamstring muscle strain. (Link, the hamstring info may refer to upper swayback instead of lower? I may have lordotic? Wiki says lordosis is common among dancers?) Update 11/16: Yes, I have "lumbar hyperlordosis": Lordosis is too much of a curve. My lordosis is in the lumbar/lower back region. Commonly known as "swayback". (There's another type of lordosis, seen in the first photo below, where the upper back can curve outwards too much. One can have lordosis of both the lower and upper back. Mine is only at the lower.)

Having hyperlordosis at one point in training does not mean that this will always be a problem, and care must be taken not to overcorrect and excessively reduce the lumbar curve. Strengthening the abs can help:

"Posteriorly, the spine forms a bony connection between the rib cage and pelvis. However, in the front, this connection is effected purely by the abdominal musculature. Because of this structure, the strength, resting length, and activation of the abdominal musculature are very critical in determining the distance between the rib cage and pelvis. That distance, in turn, affects the curvature of the lower spine and hence ideal alignment [/posture]."

In other words, when you strengthen your abs, the abs will draw up/tighten the torso, pulling the formerly outwards/backwards-tilted rear end in towards the abs and front of the body. The abs will draw up, pulling the front of the pelvis up with it.

"In addition [to the abs], lumbar lordosis may also involve low back and hip flexor (especially the iliopsoas) tightness as seen in 3.24A. If so, stretching the hip flexors and low back will also be necessary to improve the condition, and little improvement will be seen with just strengthening the [abs]." (Link)

 

Here is the link to the book the quotes and photos (excepting the very top one) above were taken from. I found all of this on a Google book search (something I'd forgotten a person can do!).

Reading all of this is very encouraging! I was getting rather disheartened today, thinking about how inadequate my bone structure seems to be. From all I read, it seemed like my back shape pretty much made it impossible for me to ever be good at ballet, so I should just go ahead and give up now. (And hey, a very small part of me was relieved: no more exercise! I can consider this another of my activities I've learned just enough about to convince me that I don't really want to continue doing it! All my life, that routine has repeated itself over and over and over again, and I've really not wanted it to happen again. I can feel myself already getting lazy... I can put off ballet now, I won't be any good.) NOPE! This is my New Self, and she is going to get off the damn computer, stop trying to find excuses, stop trying to convince herself she should just read about the hows all night, go put on my leotard, tights, and shoes, and get to practicing! (I'll continue as I have been, with less turnout than I was trying to go for, and being more aware of all of the things I have read. I'm not correcting much yet until I know more about to do it right. I don't want to jump right into different types of wrongness in my posture.)