Pointe the Way! My New Obsession with Ballet Begins with Pointed Feet!
Sometime in early September of this year, I started admiring the beauty of ballerinas- their grace and flexibility, especially on pointe, mostly in pictures (not video). Honestly, I was never much of a fan of going to see ballet in person- I've seen several and it wasn't as pleasurable for me as say, theatre. But once I got to looking (especially on Tumblr and Pinterest), I quickly started becoming obsessed. At the time, I really didn't even think about learning ballet- I just wanted to get a pair of pointe shoes and teach myself how to do some of the pretty poses I was seeing- arabesques, promenades, and heck, even just being able to stand there with those perfectly pointed feet!
My first step was totally backwards, and I knew it but didn't care: I wanted the pointe shoes first. I wasn't going to be doing leaps or jumps or anything overly dangerous. Basically, I wanted to pretend for a few minutes here and there- maybe hold onto something and be able to lean forward on one pointed toe.
I didn't plan to take ballet classes, so there would be no one to tell me how bad it was for me to be en pointe when I knew I wasn't really ready. And besides, it was probably going to be like that other time I purchased a pair of pointe shoes, back when I was like fifteen and wanted to know what it was like to stand in them- I ended up trying them on a time or two and then, well, I don't know whatever happened to those shoes.
So I painfully began my venture to find a pair of pointe shoes I liked. Honestly, I didn't know about foot compression or how tapered toes should affect the decision of which box I needed, or whether or not I needed a hard shank or soft shank. I just wanted a shoe that fit me. So I did something I really don't recommend: trial and error by buying gently used (or even dead) pointe shoes off of eBay, without anything close to a proper fitting.
The first pair I purchased were a pair of dead, unmatched Chacottes from the same dancer. (I wasn't going to be up on them much, so I could see how they'd been broken in and... well, I don't really know my line of reasoning there. Something like I didn't know what broken in felt like, so I could have some that were fully broken in... or whatever. They were a known name brand (I was getting to know those) and they seemed to be in my size- so I bought them. This was September 8.
My Chacottes came in, and actually seemed to fit me somewhat decently (I thought at the time). The length was right, and the toes hurt like hell, but I figured all pointe shoes hurt like hell, and I put in extra padding (makeup pads!) to help reduce some of the pain and to make the length fit a little better. I was very excited the first time I put them on, and would play around with them the next day. I'd scored something decent for my foot the very first try- go me! The following day the foam toe pads had come in, which helped a little... and the gel toe covers came in with the pads- and these helped a lot! I could see where it might help to have another toe cover on my fourth toe (which was being pushed or something), so I ordered another set. Finally, I had something I could work with!
A few days later, I wake up to find that my pitbull puppy had decided to use my new shoes as toys. They were already dead... but now they were destroyed. I knew I'd lucked out on the Chacottes, and wasn't seeing anymore used (read: cheap) ones for sale on eBay.
On September 14, I found a pair that I thought might fit me (meaning to me, at this time, they fit me about like a sneaker: long enough but not too long and wide enough but not too wide): Freed Crowns, size 5. These, too, were dead, but that was okay. I ordered these on the 14th.
On the same day I bought the Freed Crowns, I purchased a pair of black leather no-brand ballet slippers- for stretching. I'd started doing this twelve-minute splits stretch (to help achieve splits). What prettier way to pose than by incorporating a split? I remember being younger and so jealous of all of my friends who could do splits... even my mother could do a split! but I was not blessed with such natural flexibility. I began doing this video pretty much nightly.
The black shoes came in... and I didn't like them. They LOOKED cute in the photos and they LOOKED cute in person, but they didn't fit my feet right- the size was as right as I could get with this kind of slipper but it bunched up in odd places and didn't look smooth. Luckily- unlike most of my other purchases- these were returnable. I ordered Bloch Dansoft Ballet Pink Leather shoes, size 5B on the 18th.
The Freed Crowns were taking FOREVER to ship. I had no clue when, or if, the seller was ever going to get them out to me. My impatient self purchased a pair of barely used Freed Operas, size 5D, on September 22. They came in on the 25th... and were much too tight.
The Freed Crowns finally came in on the 27th. I believe these were too tight as well. Back to eBay where I'd take another shot in the dark and purchased a pair of Bloch "Synergy Quarter" size YYY that same day.
Now, during all of this time I was hunting for a pair of pointe shoes that would fit, I was also researching more and more about ballet. I was still able to put on one of the shoes that my dog had chewed up- the shank was still in one piece, unlike the other one- and I was realizing just how much strength it would take to be able to really hold ANY position on pointe. I mean, I knew it was a lot and I knew I'd have to gain some strength, but it didn't really hit me just how MUCH strength those pretty poses actually took.
As I mentioned, I've been to several ballet performances, and while there is no way NOT to admire their beautiful, ethereal movements and grace, it wasn't ever my favorite thing to go see. And never mind that, that was something one had to start in childhood- adults don't do ballet... right?
I started looking up classes in my area, and sure enough- they were all tailored towards children. Except one- I found one adult ballet class. I got online and started searching for other adult ballerinas- people who had started past the conventional younger years. And I found out... that it was a thing! The Adult Ballerina Project had some stories of people even older than my 34 years starting ballet. My favorite blog, though, has been The Remedial Ballerina. Though she is younger than me, she is still much older than is conventional, AND she opened my eyes to ballerinas with different body shapes than one usually sees on stage. I was onto something here...
Back to the shoes: I just knew the Synergy Quarters weren't going to fit. I think the term I used earlier, "shooting in the dark" perfectly sums up what I was trying to accomplish. I decided to... go get properly fitted for a pair of pointe shoes. This might take a little work- I was afraid to go into a dance shop and just tell them I wanted a pair of pointe shoes to play around in. I know I could break an ankle, but I also knew they might be worried about liability or something. And there was no way I could pull off actually TAKING pointe. I'd been learning more about ballet positions and such but didn't know how to hold my body or anything- they'd know right away I was a fraud.
The first place I went to did not have a fitter in- and I'm impatient- I wanted shoes NOW. So I sped to the other shop across town that was about to close in 10 minutes. The lady was super nice and I hated lying to her, but I told her my boyfriend does photography (we're more like friends now, and he DOES do photography) and he wanted to do a photo shoot about ballet, and wanted it to look as genuine as possible, so he wanted me to get fitted for a pair of shoes instead of just buying them. (If I actually pitched this idea to him, he would probably actually be down for it- but I'm not flexible enough and no one really knows about my balletobsession interest right now, and I want to keep it that way.)
So I tried on pair after pair. They were wrong in some way. I tried on another pair that seemed to fit my foot well- like the Chacottes. I held onto a clothes rack and got onto pointe. My big toe hurt like crazy, but I thought that was normal. She asked me if all of my toes were supported equally. I looked at her quizzically- no. Onto another couple of pairs.
And then... a pair that seemed to fit my foot. It seemed right, so she had me do a second position plie. Seemed okay to me. She had me hold onto the clothes rack and go on pointe. And.... IT DIDN'T HURT!! For all my research, I never knew that 1) the weight could be distributed across all of the toes to some extent and 2) while ballerinas are- in many aspects- pretty close to superhuman, the big toes' pain on pointe is NOT supposed to be like needles being jammed into your toe every time it touches the floor! I was in AWE. Honestly, I really did not know that pointe shoes could be THIS comfortable, even on pointe!!!! YES, those were the pair. I walked out with the Bunheads toe cushions she'd had me use along with my beautiful new Capezio Contemporas. (Interestingly enough, these are one of the pairs that the Remedial Ballerina has found to be comfortable for her. Now that I understand WAY more about pointe shoes- both from knowing first-hand what a good pair feels like and from a much better understanding of foot types and pointe shoe variations that I've learned since that day- it seems like she and I may have a similar foot (not counting the arch strength she has), so I am going to keep up with her journey towards the perfect pointe shoe and give some of her favorites a try... but that's a long way off, for now.)
Part II to follow...
Sometime in early September of this year, I started admiring the beauty of ballerinas- their grace and flexibility, especially on pointe, mostly in pictures (not video). Honestly, I was never much of a fan of going to see ballet in person- I've seen several and it wasn't as pleasurable for me as say, theatre. But once I got to looking (especially on Tumblr and Pinterest), I quickly started becoming obsessed. At the time, I really didn't even think about learning ballet- I just wanted to get a pair of pointe shoes and teach myself how to do some of the pretty poses I was seeing- arabesques, promenades, and heck, even just being able to stand there with those perfectly pointed feet!
My first step was totally backwards, and I knew it but didn't care: I wanted the pointe shoes first. I wasn't going to be doing leaps or jumps or anything overly dangerous. Basically, I wanted to pretend for a few minutes here and there- maybe hold onto something and be able to lean forward on one pointed toe.
 | ||||
| That perfectly pointed foot! (Svetlana Zhakharova) |
I didn't plan to take ballet classes, so there would be no one to tell me how bad it was for me to be en pointe when I knew I wasn't really ready. And besides, it was probably going to be like that other time I purchased a pair of pointe shoes, back when I was like fifteen and wanted to know what it was like to stand in them- I ended up trying them on a time or two and then, well, I don't know whatever happened to those shoes.
So I painfully began my venture to find a pair of pointe shoes I liked. Honestly, I didn't know about foot compression or how tapered toes should affect the decision of which box I needed, or whether or not I needed a hard shank or soft shank. I just wanted a shoe that fit me. So I did something I really don't recommend: trial and error by buying gently used (or even dead) pointe shoes off of eBay, without anything close to a proper fitting.
The first pair I purchased were a pair of dead, unmatched Chacottes from the same dancer. (I wasn't going to be up on them much, so I could see how they'd been broken in and... well, I don't really know my line of reasoning there. Something like I didn't know what broken in felt like, so I could have some that were fully broken in... or whatever. They were a known name brand (I was getting to know those) and they seemed to be in my size- so I bought them. This was September 8.
My Chacottes came in, and actually seemed to fit me somewhat decently (I thought at the time). The length was right, and the toes hurt like hell, but I figured all pointe shoes hurt like hell, and I put in extra padding (makeup pads!) to help reduce some of the pain and to make the length fit a little better. I was very excited the first time I put them on, and would play around with them the next day. I'd scored something decent for my foot the very first try- go me! The following day the foam toe pads had come in, which helped a little... and the gel toe covers came in with the pads- and these helped a lot! I could see where it might help to have another toe cover on my fourth toe (which was being pushed or something), so I ordered another set. Finally, I had something I could work with!
A few days later, I wake up to find that my pitbull puppy had decided to use my new shoes as toys. They were already dead... but now they were destroyed. I knew I'd lucked out on the Chacottes, and wasn't seeing anymore used (read: cheap) ones for sale on eBay.
On September 14, I found a pair that I thought might fit me (meaning to me, at this time, they fit me about like a sneaker: long enough but not too long and wide enough but not too wide): Freed Crowns, size 5. These, too, were dead, but that was okay. I ordered these on the 14th.
On the same day I bought the Freed Crowns, I purchased a pair of black leather no-brand ballet slippers- for stretching. I'd started doing this twelve-minute splits stretch (to help achieve splits). What prettier way to pose than by incorporating a split? I remember being younger and so jealous of all of my friends who could do splits... even my mother could do a split! but I was not blessed with such natural flexibility. I began doing this video pretty much nightly.
The black shoes came in... and I didn't like them. They LOOKED cute in the photos and they LOOKED cute in person, but they didn't fit my feet right- the size was as right as I could get with this kind of slipper but it bunched up in odd places and didn't look smooth. Luckily- unlike most of my other purchases- these were returnable. I ordered Bloch Dansoft Ballet Pink Leather shoes, size 5B on the 18th.
The Freed Crowns were taking FOREVER to ship. I had no clue when, or if, the seller was ever going to get them out to me. My impatient self purchased a pair of barely used Freed Operas, size 5D, on September 22. They came in on the 25th... and were much too tight.
The Freed Crowns finally came in on the 27th. I believe these were too tight as well. Back to eBay where I'd take another shot in the dark and purchased a pair of Bloch "Synergy Quarter" size YYY that same day.
Now, during all of this time I was hunting for a pair of pointe shoes that would fit, I was also researching more and more about ballet. I was still able to put on one of the shoes that my dog had chewed up- the shank was still in one piece, unlike the other one- and I was realizing just how much strength it would take to be able to really hold ANY position on pointe. I mean, I knew it was a lot and I knew I'd have to gain some strength, but it didn't really hit me just how MUCH strength those pretty poses actually took.
As I mentioned, I've been to several ballet performances, and while there is no way NOT to admire their beautiful, ethereal movements and grace, it wasn't ever my favorite thing to go see. And never mind that, that was something one had to start in childhood- adults don't do ballet... right?
I started looking up classes in my area, and sure enough- they were all tailored towards children. Except one- I found one adult ballet class. I got online and started searching for other adult ballerinas- people who had started past the conventional younger years. And I found out... that it was a thing! The Adult Ballerina Project had some stories of people even older than my 34 years starting ballet. My favorite blog, though, has been The Remedial Ballerina. Though she is younger than me, she is still much older than is conventional, AND she opened my eyes to ballerinas with different body shapes than one usually sees on stage. I was onto something here...
Back to the shoes: I just knew the Synergy Quarters weren't going to fit. I think the term I used earlier, "shooting in the dark" perfectly sums up what I was trying to accomplish. I decided to... go get properly fitted for a pair of pointe shoes. This might take a little work- I was afraid to go into a dance shop and just tell them I wanted a pair of pointe shoes to play around in. I know I could break an ankle, but I also knew they might be worried about liability or something. And there was no way I could pull off actually TAKING pointe. I'd been learning more about ballet positions and such but didn't know how to hold my body or anything- they'd know right away I was a fraud.
The first place I went to did not have a fitter in- and I'm impatient- I wanted shoes NOW. So I sped to the other shop across town that was about to close in 10 minutes. The lady was super nice and I hated lying to her, but I told her my boyfriend does photography (we're more like friends now, and he DOES do photography) and he wanted to do a photo shoot about ballet, and wanted it to look as genuine as possible, so he wanted me to get fitted for a pair of shoes instead of just buying them. (If I actually pitched this idea to him, he would probably actually be down for it- but I'm not flexible enough and no one really knows about my ballet
So I tried on pair after pair. They were wrong in some way. I tried on another pair that seemed to fit my foot well- like the Chacottes. I held onto a clothes rack and got onto pointe. My big toe hurt like crazy, but I thought that was normal. She asked me if all of my toes were supported equally. I looked at her quizzically- no. Onto another couple of pairs.
And then... a pair that seemed to fit my foot. It seemed right, so she had me do a second position plie. Seemed okay to me. She had me hold onto the clothes rack and go on pointe. And.... IT DIDN'T HURT!! For all my research, I never knew that 1) the weight could be distributed across all of the toes to some extent and 2) while ballerinas are- in many aspects- pretty close to superhuman, the big toes' pain on pointe is NOT supposed to be like needles being jammed into your toe every time it touches the floor! I was in AWE. Honestly, I really did not know that pointe shoes could be THIS comfortable, even on pointe!!!! YES, those were the pair. I walked out with the Bunheads toe cushions she'd had me use along with my beautiful new Capezio Contemporas. (Interestingly enough, these are one of the pairs that the Remedial Ballerina has found to be comfortable for her. Now that I understand WAY more about pointe shoes- both from knowing first-hand what a good pair feels like and from a much better understanding of foot types and pointe shoe variations that I've learned since that day- it seems like she and I may have a similar foot (not counting the arch strength she has), so I am going to keep up with her journey towards the perfect pointe shoe and give some of her favorites a try... but that's a long way off, for now.)
Part II to follow...
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