Maya Plisetskaya: Bolero

I really do not know ballerinas. My interest/obsession with ballet has come extremely fast. I believe I mentioned I never really got into ballet, preferring to go to theater or such instead. I think my tastes must be refining now, and/or I am gaining a new-found appreciation for ballet, because I am liking watching it much more (if only on YouTube for now). I have never seen this, and at first was totally unimpressed, but the longer I watched it, the more enchanted I became:

Back in the day, when I was 16 or so, I could dance. Really well. And it lasted from around the age of 16-20. I danced a lot. I wasn't allowed out much when I was younger, so I taught myself how to dance in my room when I was younger, stereo cranked up as loud as my parents allowed, watching myself in the mirror. I was young. I was active. I was in touch with my body. I could move. I wasn't as graceful and beautiful as Plisetskaya, and I certainly wasn't anything close to flexible, but had I had interest and seen this, I think I could have done my arms in a vague semblance of what she was doing. It wouldn't have been her, but my own take. It's kind of how I used to move, in touch with my body, in tune with the music.

Now, however, I am so out of touch with my body! I've always been a "thinker" rather than a "feeler", which ha always kept me in my head more than in the world around me. But at some point I got disconnected from my body. I've forgotten how to move it. I'm twisted up, cranked up tight like a coil, in some areas- muscles here taut from holding them in stress and anxiety, muscles there limp, lax, from underusing them. I don't know this body I'm in anymore, and it's kinda sad, but time to change it!!