My Ballet Life Update: Back to Class Soon!

So I've taken quite a break from ballet, which has been very discouraging for me. I've had a lot going on- most notably the continuing lack of energy I mentioned before. My doctor has me trying a new medication to help me stay awake; I'm still figuring out the best way to take the dosage I was given over the day (as a full dose once a day was too much for me, and anything else wears off quickly- but some combo of smaller doses throughout the day seems to be going well).

Unfortunately, I eventually gave up my exercising/ballet movements, simply because there wasn't enough time for me to do that with all the sleeping combined with a couple of other things I've been doing a bit obsessively in the little time I'm awake (reading YA dystopian fiction and sewing!). I believe I've also mentioned before that I have a tendency to be really motivated about an activity, only to lose motivation and interest for awhile (though my interest usually picks back up at some point- almost like I tend to cycle through my interests!). I decided to go ahead and do some other things, and maybe by the time the fall season was about to start, I'd be ready again.

I was right! I'm getting more and more into my ballet-obsession mode. I've been finding myself very discouraged about this... well, not that I'm getting into it again, but that I was doing so well and making a lot of progress (muscle tone and strength, balance, improving on my technique, flexibility), only to stop for so long, losing a lot of what I'd accomplished. (Did I mention how awesome my legs were looking, too?) But, I'm not going to let that bring me down anymore. I just came across a great positive affirmation for me at this small setback in my life:

DEAR SELF, 

THERE IS PLENTY OF TIME. 

LOVE, ME

Yes, I've lost the bit of flexibility that I'd gained from months of ballet and stretching. BUT that injury I incurred on myself awhile back has finally just about healed! (This was the first injury I've had in life that has shown me that I'm now at that age where my body simply doesn't heal as fast as it once did. Lesson learned: I'll be proceeding slower and with more caution now!) I just checked on it a week or so ago and still felt a bit of pain. Today's the first time I've been able to do even a minor stretch without it hurting, and that's awesome! I should be able to start a mild stretching routine on that leg; I'll give it a couple more weeks though to make sure.

Yes, I've lost much of the muscle tone I gained, especially in my legs. However, I still naturally have not-too-much fat on my body, and I DO still have some of the muscle tone and strength, so it shouldn't take quite as long to start seeing results again. That was the first time I've ever had my body so toned, and I love that I was actually able to do it, to get myself active enough to see results (when I've always had a tendency to some laziness and an aversion to most things considered "exercise"). I am going to get to this point again, yes, and I will also do it a bit differently this time. I really mostly focused on my lower body before. I've come to really understand how vital the core is to ballet, so the exercises I do at home will be more holistic this time around. 

So the big news in my life right now: I start ballet again next month- less than four weeks to go! I emailed my teacher to let her know I do want to start again this coming season and asked her what grade I should go to (i.e., did I graduate or not?). She told me I did indeed graduate and could come to the next grade's classes, a step up (where, hopefully, my little friends will be, too!). This time, however, I got approval to take both this new, more advanced grade AND the grade I was in. There are steps & movements I didn't get to learn from her the first time, and I found it difficult to pick up just by watching the others. I want to retake the grade so 1) I can learn from her some of what I didn't before, 2) I can keep working on my technique at a slower pace, 3) I'll build more muscle and flexibility with an extra class, and most importantly: 4) MORE BALLET. I'm so excited.

My classes start August 25. I plan to do much more blogging than these past few months once I'm back into it.

Some inspiration:

Still interested in ballet, still around!

So, I've had crazy stuff going on lately, and I've totally taken up sewing- which I am in love with, along with a bunch of other arts and crafts. Once I stopped going to ballet class, I kept up with working out (grande plies in both fifths work AMAZING for the upper legs!) for quite awhile- my legs are much more muscular than they've ever been.

Then depression started kicking in. Up until a few days ago, when I drastically lowered one of my medications, I was sleeping ALL the time. Go to work: sleep throughout the day. Go home: immediately crash and wake up the next morning to go back to work. The few days a week I was actually awake, I was working on my sewing- and still browsing Pinterest ballet pictures, wishing I had the energy to work on ballet some more.

I'm back on an upswing, it seems. Over the weekend, I added a couple of sets of plies and releves to my day. I've done a little bit more each day. Yesterday, I had something of a setback, that also has (hopefully) turned into something somewhat positive... Remember the injury I received from (idiotically) forcing my splits months ago? It was feeling a lot better, though not all the way. Last night I decided to try to stretch it some, and see how it went. I think I pushed just a bit too hard (and it wasn't all that much to begin with), so that it hurts this morning- not a good I've-stretched feeling but an "ow, this still isn't healed" feeling. It's been months! The fact that I'm getting older is starting to dawn on me more and more.

So what's positive about that? Well, I've been seeing some beautiful photos of ballerinas on pointe who DON'T have perfect splits or perfect turnout or this or that. And they're still beautiful. I wish I hadn't injured myself, but I did, and I have absolutely no choice but to let my body take as long as it needs to heal. So instead of being down on myself, I'm just going to go with the flow. The few movements I can't make with the injured leg aren't THAT big of a deal. (And frankly, it's not like I was going to get splits before the fall season!)

I can still work on splits with my other leg. And what's more, splits and that sort of stretching are pretty much the only thing I can't work on with that leg right now. On the positive side: I've been working on turnout quite a bit- sometimes even when I do absolutely nothing else. And my turnout seems to really be improving. I can FEEL the strength there deep inside my hips, and I can TELL that I'm rotating from there and not my knee. I'm getting more comfortable balancing in a larger turnout. And my injury isn't stopping me from working on that- which is probably much more important than splits anyway. (It's in a very close area, but the injury seems to be on the back side of that area, while working on my front side/rotator muscles doesn't touch it at all from what I can feel.)

So, I just wanted to check in, make a quick update. I've got lots to do the next few months. I'm still not sure what class I will get into next season. Either way is fine- I wouldn't mind being back in the same class so I can totally get down all of the things I was having trouble with because I never SAW it being taught. If I graduate and go into the next step up, that's great too- closer to pointe and I'll work extra hard to catch up on a few things, maybe take a couple of private lessons.

(Speaking of pointe- I've also totally still been working on my ankle, toe, and foot strength, and I'm seeing SUCH a difference, especially when I releve. The curve of my foot goes OVER my toes!)

Inspiration: Passe, Turnout, Back Flexibility, and More...

Inspiration: Those arches, tho...

Update: On Class Hiatus

So, I missed a Thursday class a few weeks ago- I was tired, or had plans, or something. The following week, my car nearly broke down and needed transmission work. Just breaking down a transmission itself is quite a time-consuming process... then they had to figure out what was wrong with it... order the parts... fix something else that my car had been recalled for that I'd forgotten about... fix the transmission... put it all back together. There was a big week-long event in town the first week, so car rental prices were absurd. By the second, I'd gotten used to just getting a ride to/from work and saved car rental money. But I had to miss two weeks of classes, on top of the Thursday I'd missed.

Had I gone back to class, they were just working on the demo I wouldn't get to be in, and I'd be quite behind on learning the moves. And after the demo, class is pretty much over. I've also found a new hobby I'm adoring, so I've decided to just go on hiatus until the next ballet season starts in the fall. That doesn't mean I'm not working at home; I'm just not going to class.

There's another reason as well. Remember the injury my silly self got by overdoing splits? I'm still injured. It doesn't hurt to move or anything, but the slightest stretching and I can totally feel it. I've decided I want that to heal totally before doing anything major with it. (I'm reading Dancing Through It by former NYCB principal dancer Jenifer Ringer, and one of her teachers told her, when she was injured, "The slower the recovery, the faster you recover", or something very similar. The book is fantastic, BTW. I just covered many pages while at the doctor's office today. I highly recommend it!)

And honestly, I haven't done a ton of ballet lately besides tendus, rond de jambes, other barre work- with a big exception: I've been going plie crazy! I noticed the slightest hint of extra muscle definition in my legs recently, and it has spurred me to do at least a little exercise every day. I like doing my plies in fifth, so I will usually do 15 on one leg here and then a little later do the other side, and keep doing that throughout the evening, or during the day if it's the weekend.

I also do a lot of leg lifts towards the back (ballet term not coming to me) to work on my butt, focusing on keeping my legs turned out. I do tendus and rond de jambes. I do a lot of ankle rolls and foot doming (many times throughout the day, every day) to work on my ankle strength. I do releves, including releves with either leg in passe (working on turnout!) I do this exercise every night on my problematic, non-turning-out, tibial torsioned leg. I do arabesques and other things. Occasionally, I do an online class. Non-ballet-style: all four on the floor, left leg up behind me then bring back down, also to work on my rear.

And I finally got nearly everything I need to make my rotation disks! I may have mentioned this before, but at my job, they install speakers. To install speakers in a box, they have to cut out circles. (The circles aren't perfect- it's difficult to cut a perfect circle with the tools they use... I mean it's perfectly circular but there's an extra cut in them that makes them kinda unsellable... maybe... hmmm....) They were going to throw away quite a few, so I grabbed them and came home and was able to nearly finish one. I can use it now, just the top is not attached. Getting the other screws and washers I need will be one of this weekend's projects!

One other thing: I realized last night that even though I don't really want to stretch my injured leg much at all, I can still stretch the rest of my body, even my other leg (duh!). So I am going to start stretching again, possibly yoga. (It's too bad I wasn't injured on my right leg. That one's naturally more flexible, and I could have worked on the left one catching up, but oh well!)

So that's where I'm at these days. Still loving ballet. Kinda regretting already not getting right back into class- I don't know where I will be placed when I go back (the girls should all be moving up a level), but either way is okay with me.

I might not be posting as often as I was, but I'm still "into" ballet and haven't lost my motivation as I'd feared I would. (Well, a touch, but not to where I am going to stop.) I'm still finding gorgeous photos online and will still be sharing those!

For those times I'm down on my non-ballerina body...

-via Pointe Til You Drop blog

Ballet, exercise, discipline, more inspirational photos...

I ended up not staying the whole ballet yesterday. Honestly, I was quite tired and could not keep my eyes open, so when my daughter asked me if I wanted to go, as she and her girlfriends wanted to leave, I said yes. We left during intermission, and I got to meet the owners of the ballet studio since my daughter knows them well. It was a contemporary piece, and I was hoping more for classical.

Anyway, I'm recognizing I'm once again looking at ballet as a chore. I need to find the FUN in it again. Even on my "down" swings, I try to keep up with some exercises- like if I go to the kitchen, I will do ten plies while I'm in there. Since yesterday, though, I've amped it up a notch and have been working on my grand plies in fifth, both sides. Those are my most difficult, both because they take balance and they work my legs the hardest. I'm noticing some extra muscle coming, so that's inspired me to do those, at least. I usually hold onto something when I do them, but focus on engaging my core as though I'm doing them without holding on. My legs really ache, so it's great!

Here are some new photos I've come across today. I wanted to go ahead and post them while I have the names handy:

These three are Olga Esina and Eno Peçi, The Second Detail, Vienna State Ballet.

From: Ballet 422 (Magnolia Pictures)

Rachelle Di Stasio and Aran Bell, American Ballet Theatre Studio