Conditioning for Dance

Yay! Today's mail brought "Basic Ballet Movement Skills" with Finis Jhung and "Conditioning for Dance: Training for Peak Performance in All Dance Forms" by Eric Franklin.

I'm actually going out tonight and I need to get some ballet in, otherwise I would spend the whole evening reading through that book. It looks awesome. I think it's precisely what I need. The drawings in it are just fantastic, and even a single exercise I did that took about three seconds shows that he's got some great (and new to me) material in there.

I don't think it would be a spoiler to tell you the exercise, in my own words: 1) Stand on both feet and jump in the air. Yes, just jump. 2) Stand on both feet, clench your teeth together and jump. That's it, but can you see the difference it makes on your jump when you clench your teeth? If your jaw can affect a movement that seemingly comes from the waist and below, what other tension is in the body that can be affecting movements in ways you'd never dreamed of?

I can't wait to start working on it! It looks like I am going to need to get some longer Therabands, though. Most of the exercises seem to use the really long ones, like more than twice the body's height. Definitely on my list now.

I'll check out the new Jhung DVD tomorrow- time for barre!

"Floor Barre", Leg Extensions & Hips

I read a great article awhile back (I may have linked to it before, pdf), entitled "Functional Anatomy in Dance Training: An Efficient Warm Up Emphasizing the Role of the Psoas". In it is this picture, which has stuck in my mind since reading it:

Développé à la seconde. Incorrect placement of hip in left photo. Hip is raised. Corrected in the middle photo. Incorrect use of glutes in the third.

I've been working on this while doing ballet lately. I was pretty much convinced that a) my hips and legs just don't work like that or b) the only way I would ever be able to understand how to get my hips and legs like that would be one-on-one instruction from a professional.

Then I read a post (on one of the ballet forums) about floor barre. Apparently, the term "Floor Barre" is a registered trademarked technique that you may be able to find classes for, though they don't seem to be common in smaller cities. But- you should know me by now!- I'm not going to worry about flying or driving to some other city to learn Floor Barre. I'm going to teach myself! (So we'll say I'm just borrowing the term, uncapitalized,  to describe what I am doing, and it should not be taken to mean that I have ever had any class on the trademarked technique of "Floor Barre".)

A couple of nights ago, I decided to give my own version of floor barre a shot. I wanted to work on those things in the photo above. And what do you know? When I lie on my back I am able to bring my leg forwards and sideways without moving my hips! (It's so much easier to work on when all that pesky gravity isn't making extensions so difficult to do!) So now I know that my hips will allow my legs to raise properly; it can be done. My goal is to work on this while on the floor and hopefully gain muscle memory so I can perform the actions correctly while standing. I'm not quite sure what I'm doing differently, but with practice, I hope to understand (and be able to DO!).

My DIY Rotation Disks

So I ordered some items from eBay to make rotation disks for hip rotation. Unfortunately, the wooden circles I got are less sturdy than some cardboard I have, so I am going to have to rig them differently than I'd planned (and it's going to look way less pretty, but will still accomplish the same thing). I haven't screwed anything in place since I haven't quite decided how I want to do it, but I put it all together anyway and was able to work on hip rotation (doing it very carefully since nothing was properly mounted). And: wow! It was extremely helpful!

First of all, the good news: my right hip can rotate past 90 degrees! If I can get my left leg up to par, I will have amazing turnout. It takes quite the effort to turnout my right leg that far, but it will definitely go.

The bad news (which isn't so bad since it's far better to at least know this now): my poor left leg has been turning out FAR too much with my left knee. I kept trying, and the harder I pressed out, the worse my knee felt. It took quite a few tries, but eventually I was able to access those deep rotator muscles. I had to switch to my right leg a few times to sort of show my left leg how to get to those muscles. (I've been using them a little, but not enough at all.) Once I started getting them, it was really neat. I was able to feel all of these little muscles deep inside my leg that I've never really felt before. There was one small muscle in there that I was pretty much able to access just by itself. When I found it, the use of it was so small my leg was hardly moving at all, but that muscle was certainly getting a workout!

I also noticed how much I've been using my glutes. Well, it's not a ton but it's more than I should be using. On my right leg, I noticed there was some work from my calf muscle involved with my hip rotation. The calf muscle wasn't actually working, but it felt more like it moved a bit when I rotated externally. (Too bad ballet doesn't work with internal rotation or I'd be a master!)

One other thing that was interesting was that when I was rotating from my hip on my left leg, what could only be my iliacus (or maybe my psoas) was feeling a tug... on my right side. I understand the connection between the two slightly, but otherwise find it kinda odd, something going on that I don't quite grasp.

Anyway, I woke up this morning with definite achiness (the good kind) in both hip rotator areas (especially on my left side). Unfortunately, my poor left knee hurts from straining so much trying to get it right. I'm going to be extra careful with it, but it's so great to know now what I've been doing wrong, and how I can fix it!

I'll post some photos once I get my rotation disks put together. I may just sell them for really cheap- they're so expensive to get prebuilt! Mine may not look so great (and I won't be able to use on non-hard surfaces like carpet), but they're certainly going to get the job done. It would be nice to be able to help other ballet students who don't want to shell out $100 on a set... but I just don't know what they are actually going to look like right now (would it be embarrassing to sell such an ugly product, even if it works??) :)

Today's Ballet

Today's ballet went well (when I wasn't sneaking peaks at my eBay watch list to make sure Christmas gifts weren't being sold from under me!). Warmup, of course, then I picked up where I left off with Lesson 4 Barre. After that, I brought out Finis Jhung's easiest level center class. Popped it in the drive, check out the menu (that only says "Exercise 1" and so forth), go to the first exercise, and am immediately intimidated by what comes up:

Tendu, dégagé en en l'air, tombé en avant, arabesque balance

Say what? But of course Jhung breaks it down very easily, even reminding the viewer to take the first half beat to shift balance to the standing leg. I practiced that quite a few times- other than my boring one actual ballet class, and a little bit of pas de bourre with Tamra, I really haven't done a lot of movement across the floor. Most of what I've done has either been barre, or basically changing positions more or less in one spot. I'm glad that was my basis to work from, though, because I was definitely more stable on one leg, better able to balance on my working leg than I could have a few weeks ago.

The second one was more difficult for me to grasp- the arm movements were quite different than anything I've ever done with my arms, and I had trouble remembering which foot to start with if I wanted to go a particular direction (the movements were de côté, or "to the side"). I did that one quite a few times as well, but I think I ended up working my right side more than my left one. 

I can feel myself starting to just watch the movements being done by others and following along instead of actually learning it. For some reason I've always struggled a little with this. I think it's possible I need a little extra time than a lot of people learning motions with my body, because I remember being like this as a child, too. It always took me a little longer to pick something up, like a dance routine. I'm much more of a potential thinker than a kinetic doer, lol- basically, I over-think things, trying to form some sort of sense of something rather than just doing it and picking up the nuances over time and with repetition. Since others move faster than me, I guess I've made it a habit to just follow along with what they are doing instead of being able to really grasp what I'm doing. It's really a very different way of learning than what I'm used to, so of course I'm struggling some. (Not sure if all of that made sense...)

But anyway, even though the center work is challenging for me, I'm really enjoying it so far. (I enjoy challenging myself, especially my way of thinking!) It's now been about seven and a half weeks(!!) since I started teaching myself ballet, and I'm now starting to be able to see the foundation that I've been laying down the past almost-two months. There are still soooooo many details to learn, but I'm beginning to see a more holistic picture of ballet than just seeing steps I have to learn. The pieces are fitting together more now. It's really cool, and I'm really proud of myself, especially for sticking with it even through the lack of motivation I had just recently! (I normally would have stopped learning something at that point.)

My flexibility is improving, too, I'd like to add. I'm getting way more in touch with my body. I do a lot of normal stretching movements, but I also mix in different things, just going with the flow. If I'm leaning my chest down towards my knee, for instance, and I feel a tug in my back, I'll listen closely to my body and move in a way that gently stretches out that tug. Today, for instance, I was stretching my hamstrings and I felt a tight spot, so I got out one of my little hard bouncy balls, placed it under my leg, and moved it around until I found just the right spot. I gently pressed down into it... feeling it give a little... a little more... and then a release, a definite letting go that totally clears my mind for a few seconds and "wows!" me. Those moments are difficult to find, but when I do, it's just such a great feeling... tension that's built up in my body for years and years suddenly let go, vanished, vamoose!

Today I'm Grateful for Ballet

Hopefully, my Thanksgiving goes a little better later on. I'm currently spending it alone with no plans besides eating pumpkin (not apple :P) pie. My mom is at work. My daughter is at work. My friend I'd kinda assumed I'd be spending it with is out-of-town with another friend... so it's just me, and ballet, for right now.

I'm getting a better understanding and control over my petite battements sur le coup-de-pied (or vice versa, whatever). I think a big part of this has to do with the fact that my arches are definitely getting stronger, and it shows with my wrapped foot. When they were weaker, there wasn't as much definition in the arch, so it looked more like just bringing my foot back and forth. With more definition, there's more of a specificity of placement of my foot, if that makes sense. I'm also learning the placement of my foot on the outer side- more control over that so they are getting more precise. (I'm still doing them slowly at the moment. Once I have even better control, I will learn to do them faster!)

I'm certainly enjoying these more- I really didn't like them at the start. I credit my stronger arches to all the doming I do at work- in sneakers. The top of my sneakers gives me something to push against, making me gain strength faster than just doming barefoot. 

Another thing I've noticed recently- I think I touched on this some- is that I'm more aware of my body as I'm moving. Since I'm getting the movements down, I am more able to focus on what the rest of my body is doing. I'm learning to pull up on the standing leg's hip more instead of sinking down into it. It's not a constant awareness yet, but I'm getting there.

I'm more aware of using those turnout muscles instead of forcing it so much. I'm still working in third instead of fifth, and I'm less concerned with being so turned out, working within my body's current limits instead. Trying to force turnout- unsuccessfully- was one of the ways I was bringing myself down, demotivating myself. Doing Lisa Howell's turnout exercise is really helping me learn how to maintain turnout. (I know how to turnout properly- it's the constant doing of this that's so troublesome!)

I'm learning to be aware of the changing of my line of balance (looking for a term...) when moving into fourth, third, first, from another position, when switching from one type of arabesque to another.  I'm more aware of my alignment in general on my standing leg when my other leg is working... and because of this... I am able to BALANCE a whole lot better!

Tonight II

This evening's ballet went so much better than it has for a few days (which seems like weeks)! I was just totally into it. I could tell I'm making definite improvements: in posture, flexibility, and technique. When you're going every day it's a bit harder to tell the differences, but I feel like I kinda bummed out the last 3, maybe 4, days and just hadn't been into it.

I started with the usual Lisa Maree warm up. As I mentioned, I learned the basics of doing glissades. (I did a few more after that post, and those went well.) Then I did Tamra Chace's Lesson 4 Barre and half of the center. (I did quite a few exercises multiple times.) With both of them, especially the latter, I was doing so much better with balancing while shifting my weight. That's really tough, and I've definitely been struggling with it. But tonight I was even able to do rond de jambes almost without losing my balance.

I just felt the placement of my body better. When I was on one leg, I was able to center myself better. I was frequently able to remind myself of the little details besides just doing the exercises, especially regarding my posture. And yet, I was also able to let go of the posture issue a little. I think that's one of the things that's been bumming me out- all the things I see wrong with my body. But tonight it was more of "yes, pull up in the spine, working on pulling the bottom of the ribs back, but just notice it, shift if needed, and let go." When I'm not so focused on everything that's wrong with me, I can actually notice the things that are right! I even felt "ballerina-like", especially doing derriere developpes en releve! I think that was the highlight.

This video caught my attention while I was browsing through videos: How to Do Développé à la Seconde. I briefly looked at their website and they seem to have quite a few videos like this that are ballet-oriented. The preview looks pretty good. I like seeing the muscles that are working, where they are and what they are doing. When I am able to visualize something in my head, I'm better able to do it when it makes sense what I'm doing.

Anyway, I worked a lot longer than I expected and it's almost my bedtime! So I'm going to cut this short. But I do want to say I am SO glad I had a good session tonight! It's very inspiring; I was getting worried I was just going to give up. But the obsession remains strong!

Tonight

My turnout seems to be better with the tape on my knee. I don't think I'm imagining it- when I turnout, my left knee is more over the toes than in front of it, and that wasn't the case before. My turnout in retiré is maybe a little better on the left- I still have a ways to go. But I'm definitely able to feel the rotation of my knee just from the tape, and I'm also able to use my muscles in that leg to rotate my knee further into a "straight" position. (It's not taped to the max it could be.)

The tape did get a little bothersome today- I had to pull it up a bit in some spots where the skin was just pulling too much. I took an NSAID to reduce any possible swelling. I was a little more careful on that leg today, especially up and down steps. I didn't want to use it fully in this new position. I am going to take a break either tonight or tomorrow night, and possibly put ice on it because I am worried about swelling. (I can't really tell if it's actually swelling or if I'm just imagining it because I know something's different.) There's a little aching on the knee, but it's not pain. I'm paying really close attention to it.

I was teaching myself glissades and getting the hang of it. A bit too much jumping for my knee tonight, though. Another time. I just wanted to try something new.

Tibial torsion's effect on ballet

So I finally got around to taking some decent photos last night. AND I taped my knees. First, here is a side-by-side photo. (My left leg is on the right.) On the left is how my legs, especially knees, look when my feet are parallel and touching. (My right knee has some tibial torsion as well, but it's not as bad as my left and it doesn't affect my ballet attempts too much.) On the right photo you can see that I can laterally move my knees out using only the muscles of my legs, which rotates the kneecap and tibia.

Tibial torsion is exaggerated on my left knee (left leg is on the right side). Leg muscles can pull the kneecap and tibia into a more straightened position. Note the location of the "V" shaped shadow on my left knee in each photo.

Here are my legs when I have them lying flat on the ground. On the left my feet are kept touching in parallel. On the right, my kneecaps are pointed  straight up. Both feet lean outwards, but my left foot's rotation is far more pronounced.

On the right photo, my ankles are held parallel. Kneecap on my left leg is exaggeratedly pointed inwards. On the left photo my kneecaps are held straight up. Both ankles point outwards, but it's definitely more noticeable on the left.

I want to show you now exactly why this sucks so bad for me in regards to ballet, and why I've been obsessing over it so much. Here is what my legs look like in retiré. On the left photo my left leg is the standing leg and my right leg is in retiré. On the right, I've horizontally flipped the photo so you can compare them side by side. (In the right photo, it's my left leg in retiré.)

Legs held in retiré. (Left photo is right leg in retiré. Right photo is left leg held in retiré.) Notice the difference in line and aplomb.

See how much forward my left knee is? That is not pretty in terms of ballet. This is also how my legs look when I plié: my right knee is aligned quite well over my right foot, but my left knee is very forward of my left foot (in spite of the fact that both legs have similar turnout). (Actually, my left leg LOOKS like it has even better turnout than my right because of the extra rotation in the ankle- but the location of the knee, especially in plié, tells a different story.)

Now that I look at these photos for the first time, it also looks like I am holding my body quite differently in each photo. I had something I was holding onto for balance, and it was definitely harder to lift my left leg up, but it seems my standing right leg is pushed more forward and I am leaning more forward. This may just be because I had a ten second timer to get myself into position, and it was more difficult to do with the left leg going up, but definitely something I'm going to pay more attention to now. (My knee is also blocking my backside more in the left photo, so it could just be that.)

Anyway, I got to taping last night and took photos of that as well, but I'll get to that post later. (I will say that right now, my left knee looks more like my right knee, for what that's worth!)

Keeping up with the 9-year olds...

It's difficult to determine which children's class would be best for an adult beginner to take. At the school I mentioned I may be able to take lessons from, they have a "Grade 2" that's supposed to be for 9-year olds. (It's not RAD. There's the preschool levels, then grades 1-5 with an "advanced" third along with non-advanced third, and the most advanced divisions are 4 & 5 with the last being company/advanced.) I looked up 9-year old ballet on YouTube and came up with this:

Damn! If that's what's expected of the 9-year olds, I'm going to need to be in class with the 3-year olds! Haha! (From all I've read, 9 is usually the youngest age I've seen recommended for pointe except in cases where the child's bones have matured quickly. The 10-year old class would fit so much better in my schedule. Any lower and I'll have to leave work early... a possibility, especially if I work lunch. But I don't really have any clue where I need to be in regards to the grades.)

Loosen Tight Hamstrings

Believe it or not, this really works! Basically all you do is step on a tennis ball! Try with your tighter leg first then compare that leg to the one you haven't tried this on.

I'd love to know your results! Leave a comment!

Classes, Taping My Knee

Not too much to write about right now. I've gotten into a bit of a rut, which scares me because usually when I get into a rut with something, I ditch it instead of moving through that, even though I know ruts don't last forever. I'm just kinda disheartened by the class. I feel like I may be doing things wrong, and I want some instruction. I think something like that would help encourage me. I also feel like I'm losing a little bit of the tone that I'd gained in my muscles due to not being as interested and thus not working as hard. I'm also discouraged because of my tibial torsion along with my swayback and the fact that I'm having trouble keeping those turnout muscles really engaged all the time I'm dancing. I feel like these are things someone can tell me how to fix, but I can't do on my own.

My mom happened to talk to a lady whose daughter goes to the ballet school where I tried a class. She said that the lady who normally teaches the adult class is on maternity leave, and there is a new (and pretty young) lady there taking her place for awhile. She said the new instructor probably just hasn't learned how to take control of the class yet. I can understand that. It'd be difficult to teach when everyone wanted to just hang out and chat, especially if you liked chatting as well. So, I may try another class and if that still doesn't go so well, I will try back in a month or so. Maybe by then the real instructor will have come back or maybe the new one will have gotten better at control. So that's a positive, at least: I just have to hold out awhile and the class that's right down the road from me will probably get a whole lot better.

My mom also asked me why I didn't just get some one-on-one lessons. I really can't afford a lot right now, but I think I am going to look into getting one or two one-hour private lessons, if they're not too expensive.

WOW! I was just looking up private lessons at the ballet schools around here and how did I miss this?? At the REALLY nice school that I'd prefer to go to anyway (it seems like the most prestigious in town) there's a fantastic-sounding paragraph I somehow missed. It says that adult students who can't take classes regularly can drop in on any of the elementary or advanced classes, for $15 or $20 respectively! I can get a class card, too, to pay in advance. (There's a $35 registration fee for any of that.) This sounds too good to be true- I thought I'd examined that website from top to bottom! This is great!! Maybe tomorrow's ballet will go better with this new knowledge!

The other real thing of note (besides that I scored a really cute leotard with matching shoulder gloves and a pair of black shorts with a little teal tutu I'm no so sure about- for $10 with shipping!) is: I'm about to try the taping method for my tibial torsion. I got several types of tape, and either tonight or tomorrow I am going to give it a shot. (Note: I did not get official kineseo tape, just some athletic tape.) Honestly, I feel like somehow my tibia got turned the wrong way and that the muscles now are just too weak to keep it in the right place. I can GET it into the right place, just using my muscles, but I can't KEEP it there. If this doesn't give me pain, especially the wrong kind of pain, I'll try keeping it on there for awhile. (I'll be taking photos of "before"... hopefully there's eventually enough improvement for "after" photos!)

My First Official Ballet Class

Well, I'm home from my first class. And I'm very sorry to say that it was quite a disappointment. No, it wasn't horrible or anything. But at least half, probably more, of the class was spent with everyone socializing and/or the instructor trying to find music (chatting the entire time). I didn't pay $10 to chat and make friends. I can do that for free. I can't say anything- that's what the majority of the people seemed to want to do, which is great for them. But I want, I need more out of a ballet class if I am going to attend it regularly.

I did have a lot of fun with the exercises we did do. The barre exercises were definitely a change from Tamra Chace's videos, and change is good. Because they were different, I was struggling a little bit, which means I was being challenged, and that's good. The center exercises were definitely different than what I've been doing, even incorporating quarter/half/full pirouettes, which I've only worked on briefly. I had trouble with that and with the waltz-with-turns we did. All of this involved motion in the center, movement around the room, while I'm used to center exercises being mostly done in one spot. So that part was fun and challenging.

But there just wasn't ENOUGH fun and challenging things for me to do! I brought a towel because I sweat very easily. I brought a water bottle. There was so much time spent talking in between the things we did that I really didn't sweat at all. I had no need for water.

I brought up that I'd been doing some YouTube videos but had never had a class. After class, one of the girls told me she'd never have guessed I learned from YouTube, that if I hadn't said anything she would have just thought I hadn't been in awhile.

 So: class could have been so much better if there had been more teaching and less talking. As of right now, I'm finding it pretty hard to justify spending $10 + gas and basically a whole evening I could spend teaching myself a lot more than what we did in class. And that was BEFORE the lady walking out ahead of me told me that we did more dancing than usual- usually it's almost all talk!! Oh, and I didn't mention that no one at all got any corrections. That's a big reason for my taking a class at all. I can teach myself and have the exact same risk of hurting myself by doing stuff wrong as if I keep going there!

I may try again. I do plan to go to the one that's an hour away. I may ask this place if I can take class with younger, more serious people. Right now, though, it looks like I'm going to have to keep teaching myself. I'm glad I have Jhung's center exercise DVD on it's way. I'm not quite sure what else I can do to keep challenging myself without getting bored. (I can only do Tamra's videos so much, regardless of the fact that I like them and repetition can help hone and perfect movements... it's still the same thing over and over...) I'll be working on a plan, though.

Swayback/Lordosis

I have been using the terms "swayback" and "lumbar hyperlordosis" interchangeably. The terms may mean different things (IANAD- I am not a doctor!). But they are very similar and I don't know which one I have, but once I figure it out I will use the correct term.

And today's the day of my first ballet class! This evening will very possibly have a big impact on my life: if I love the class, ballet is possibly going to become even more important in my life. I will likely be spending even more time actually doing ballet- and more time and money getting to ballet class. (I'm already considering driving an hour or so to next Monday's ballet class in the other town that's nearby. It's an hour and a half long class- definitely more worth the two hour round-trip drive than just a one-hour class. It's also at that really awesome-sounding place that lets adults try out for the pre-professional level classes, the only one of the sort I have seen anywhere close by!)

Now, if I don't like it... I don't know. I don't know what will happen. Maybe I will see if I like the class out of town more, and just try to get there as much as I can. Maybe... if... what if I don't like ballet at all???

Ha, yeah, I worry too much. I'm sure it will go fine tonight. I hope so! (Maybe I will be able to move on to better posts as well... since I've already got nearly 50 posts on my ballet blog and yet I have never even taken a single ballet class! I may actually hate ballet! LOL)

I did all of Finis Jhung's DVD exercises at least once. (I like his rond de jambes too!) I watched the previews for a bunch of his videos and decided to just go ahead and exchange the beginner barrework for beginner center work. It seems to be "dancier". So that will be in soon. I should probably write a review here for the first one. I'll try to get to that.

Tibial torsion... taping?

I've been really focused on this tibial torsion, if you can't tell. What's interesting to me is that I can actually twist my knee around to the place it should be at. I was looking up more videos on it and came across this one. Judging by his uploads, he seems to be a massage therapist. No, I don't believe a random massage therapist on the internet is an expert on anatomy, but he is doing something that actually occurred to me to do: taping the knee and surrounding area to it's ideal position on someone with T.T. He says that T.T. occurs because the sartoris, gracilis, and semitendinosus (hamstring) muscles are weak, and not pulling the knee where it is supposed to be. (I've heard the hamstring mentioned regarding this a lot- no clue about the other muscles.)

Lately, when I've been stretching my left leg, I've been focusing on using my leg muscles to turn my tibia externally. I am able to do this; I don't need to use my hands, so this tells me it IS possible to get the knee back in place. It seems like, well, just what he's said and others have said- certain muscles are weak and certain muscles are too tight.

In the video, traylbodywork shows himself taping a patient's knee into the right position. I recently considered doing something like this myself, but wasn't sure if it was a good or at least decent idea, or a terrible one. But apparently, "Kineseo Taping" is a thing. I'm intrigued.

I was about to whip out some duct tape this evening, but I don't want to mess with my class tomorrow. This could be a very bad idea. It could mess up my knee even worse. But my intuition tells me there is something to it. After class tomorrow (or the next evening), I am going to be my own guinea pig. I'm going to try this taping business out. While continuing to focus on it the way I have been. I'm really convinced this is fixable. We're going to find out! (I am going to try to take some decent photos before I try this so I can have something for comparison in the future.)

Class tomorrow *gulp*

Since I couldn't get in touch with anyone about the adult ballet class any other way, I stopped by on my way home from work. That in itself is kinda major for me- I tend to get anxiety when it comes to doing new things around other people, or even going into new places. But I went in (it was PACKED with kids and their mothers all over the place- in, out, in the building, in class!!) and the young lady at the counter was one of those very easy to talk to people, and immediately made me feel better about stopping by, and about the place in general. She told me I can drop in, it's Tuesdays from 7:30-8:30, $10 a class, meet right where I was talking to her, it's kind of all levels, and I can wear whatever is comfortable though ballet slippers are encouraged. Sweet!

Then I came home and checked the mail. It's a sign: I'm meant for ballet! My new Leo's ballet slippers came in as did my brand new Euro pink convertible tights AND my pretty baby-blue leg warmers! (All for under $20 with shipping! The Leo's are usually $25, but I got them on eBay for $8. I have pretty much gotten everything ballet-related on eBay, except my first two leotards so I could see how they fit, my first pair of convertible tights, and the pointe shoes that actually fit. [I tried to eBay that and it didn't go so great, as you can imagine.][Or at least they fit my novice feet that have no clue what they're doing and could very well be not-so-great if I ever do get on pointe, but that's a long way off... and it all starts with my class tomorrow!])

Honestly, I didn't NEED new ballet slippers. But they were such a bargain, and I wanted to try a different brand!

These are going to look so cute just how the girl in the photo is wearing them, with my black leotard and black shorts on!

I'm really not too shy to wear a leotard, even though I have no clue if anyone else does. I am going to wear a short pair of dance shorts over everything, though. At least I will feel a little covered if no one else is dressed like me.

I'm nervous, but mostly... I'M EXCITED! Tomorrow is going to be very telling for me: will I be pursuing ballet, and in a classroom setting? Or will I hate it? Keep your fingers crossed that I'll love it!

Quick post... X-rays!

I had an appointment with my general doctor today. I told him I was starting ballet. Of course, he encouraged me to do absolutely anything but ballet because of the damage it can cause to one's body.

I mentioned to him that I was wondering if I could do anything about my anteverted hips, lumbar lordosis, and tibial torsion. He said no.

Now, my doctor is great. I really do enjoy having him as my doctor. This is only the second doctor I've ever had as an adult that was a regular doctor (instead of just stopping by the in-and-out clinic), and I'm pretty sure he's going to stay my doctor for many years to come.

Now. I know that doctors have had way more schooling than I have. I know that they have even way more medical experience than I have. But I do not trust a doctor who tells me nothing can be done about my posture, just as I don't trust one who tries to give me anything besides basic nutrition advice. Doctors just aren't trained as much as I believe they should be in prevention medicine. They are educated and trained in treatment of current ailments. And this is how they make their money: by treating problems. I'm not at all saying that even my doctor would love to help me prevent, say, a bad back. Or that any doctor whatsoever wants people to be sick. That would be the last reason a doctor would go into medicine, I would think.

The medical industry as a whole profits from people being sick, not well. How much money is spent on developing cures versus tweaking medications (very often making a medication last longer so once the original goes generic, here's a new and improved version!)? This is why nearly anything cheap, natural, easy to obtain, etc. is classified as "alternative" medicine: the medical industry doesn't want to sanction things that deters their profits. (With a few exceptions, like drinking so much water per day, not playing with matches, whatever. They can't profit if everyone is dead!)(No, that doesn't conflict with my statement on the lack of focus on cures. It is far more profitable to have someone sick but alive than either healthy or dead. Cancer, for instance, is a billions-of-dollars industry. If a cure were found, there would be a whole lot less money being made.)

Anyway, I will spare you the rest of that tirade ;) My point is that I highly doubt my doctor learned much, if anything at all, about posture. Actually- I have another example to give. I happened to have an appointment with another doctor yesterday, one who I would think would be fairly knowledgeable about back pain. I asked HIM about having correct posture. Specifically, I wanted him to kinda help me guide myself into correct posture. But what did he do? He pointed to some stick figures on the spinal column chart, and told me not to slouch at my desk and to always be very careful when picking up heavy objects, to do it the proper way.

As I said, I'm no doctor. But I am finding it incredibly difficult to believe that having poor posture now cannot impact me in the future, and likewise that having proper posture NOW can prevent future back pain. Neither doctor said this, but neither doctor seemed to know anything about posture at all.

To (finally) get around to what I really came on to post: my doctor DID want to make sure I didn't already have any injuries in my back, and thus he ordered x-rays of my spine AND hips! (See? He wants to know if there is something he can treat, not something he can prevent. I don't blame him for this; this is how he has been taught to view medical issues, to fix something after it has been broken.) The nurse warned me she couldn't interpret my x-rays, but I did manage to get her to let me look at the screen showing my hips, and it was SO COOL! I really wanted to just stare, to examine it (and critique it in regards to ballet!). I couldn't look long, but I am definitely going to try to find out if I can at least have a copy of my hips. (I had to lie on my back and spread my legs into frog position. She asked me if I could go any lower and I couldn't *sniffle*)

I guess this wasn't such a quick post after all! Anyway, I'm almost off work and am about to stop by the ballet place here that I want to take classes, and see if I can actually talk to someone! Toodle-loo!

In love with foam roller

I mentioned in another post that I'm pretty sure that my foam roller has improved my turnout in only two sessions. Except when doing my back, I've only been focusing on my left side- especially my IT band, because of how messed up my left side is with the tibial torsion. (My turnout is decent on my right side, but on my left side, when my feet are facing forward, my left kneecap facing inward. When I'm in first position, my left foot can go out further than my knee can, which makes my plies and lots of other stuff look like I'm forcing my turnout... and that I basically don't have ANY turnout on that side.)

When my foot is turned out, my knee points more towards the inside. Ideally, it should be facing somewhere around the middle of my first and second toes.

 

Today I was rolling on that side. I was rolling slowly, stopping at each hot spot. You know how when you do that (or press on a sore spot on a muscle), it kinda "gives" and loosens up? Well, several spots today "gave" more than once. Like 2-4 times back to back.

It hurts more the closer to my knee that I get with the roller. I'm assuming the IT band has tightened up with my kneecap facing inwards, and that if I can get it to loosen up towards the knee, the kneecap will sort of be "released" and able to get itself in the position it's supposed to be in. This is my theory, anyway, and I have been reading that a tight IT band can cause tibial torsion.

So I'm close to my knee, maybe a couple of inches above it and on the outside of my leg. I find a hot spot and I stop. Suddenly there is a HUGE release on that spot. It wasn't a little "give"- it was a full-out release right there! I moved away from that spot once that happened, but wow! I'm totally in love with this foam roller. I really believe it's going to help me (and that it already has)!

Today's Classes

Year One Lesson 3 Center: Focusing on keeping turnout with rond de jambes. Working on graceful port de bras including my head movements. Have switched from a fifth to third. <-- Those were my notes in between movements. Regarding the last one, I've been reading here and there that if you don't have a full fifth position, you can instead substitute it for third to get cleaner lines. So I was trying that today.

The one thing I really have trouble with on that class is the battement tendu jete. This is what they look like done slow, but in this class, the music is fast, and we do a battement tendu jete on each count. This is supposed to be a center exercise, but due to how fast the movements are, I find it very hard to balance. So I hold onto my barre while doing it (and STILL have trouble, especially with getting any kind of articulation of the movement going!)

Year One Lesson 5 Barre: This is the second time I've done this class all the way through. I LOVE IT. The beginning starts off dull, routine. Both times, after about three exercises (both sides), I'm bored and about to switch to something else. And then, suddenly, the rest of the exercises are fun and/or challenging (yet not overly so).

I think my current favorite exercise is what Tamra says is preparation for a rond de jambe. I think one of the reasons I like it is because it incorporates the arms, and it all feels very fluid and "ballet-like" to me. It starts in first, no preparation. 1) Plie in first, hand at waist (uh, first? still learning arms). 2) Still in plie, tendu to the front, arm/hand extend straight out in front. 3) While rising from plie, rond de jamb (move in a circular motion) to second while hand moves out and around with the foot to second position. 4) Close foot back to first, arm stays where it was in 3, then when you go back to number one, swoop the arm down to first. So there's a lot of arm swooping with rounded, circular leg movements.

After doing that for a few counts, it reverses. 1) Plie in first. 2) Plie still with tendu to the back. 3) Straighten body with rond de jambe from the back to second. 4) Close to first. But with all of this, the arms are doing what they were doing with the first movements, so now instead of the arm following the leg, it's going in opposition, then rounding out to meet in second.

(Note: It really helps me learn and remember things when I write it out and/or teach it to someone else. So I may be doing that some on this blog.)

Anyway, here is how what I just described looks like in motion.

After that comes full rond de jambes, starting with tendus from front, side back, close followed by the rond de jambes front. Then it goes backwards. After those exercises, fondus. I haven't liked them so much in the past, but in this video I enjoy those a lot more. A tendu is when you are in one of the positions (usually first or fifth), then you push the foot out in front of you (pushing with the heel) until the foot can't move out flat anymore and it keeps going while the foot eventually fully points, while the toes (at least the outer toes) are still on the ground.

Since you're supposed to be turned out all the time, when doing a tendu, ideally the top of the foot and the knee are pointed all the way out, i.e., if you're doing a tendu with the right foot, the top of the foot and kneecap should be facing the right wall due to outward hip rotation. And the tendu can be done a la seconde (second position), with the leg and foot to the side (top of foot and knee facing up or even behind), or it can be done in the back, with the top of the foot and knee ideally pointing towards that right wall (if right foot) or beyond.

A fondu is pretty much the same thing (although I'm sure there are a number of variations), but (in this particular class) it's like a tendu in the air. (Honestly, I could have avoided all of that and said it's basically sticking a pointed foot out in front of you. Or a flexed foot.) There are different ways to start it, but today: 1) plie, bring right flexed foot (knees always turned out!) up to lower calf muscle, 2) leg straightens out, foot points, both in the air. Repeat.

Both the tendu and the fondu can be done to the front, side, or back!

The other exercise I'm having fun with- I don't know what it's called. 1) First position. Plie. 2) Releve (rise up on the toes). Repeat, the on the 7th and 8th count, tendu to second, again, tendu to fourth, again, tendu to fifth, again, end with bringing feet in fifth on releve closer together, find your balance letting go of the barre, hold. (There's some sort of ending, but I just hold then lower down.) But the music is fairly fast, so it's bend down, bounce up, bend down, bounce up, and it just seems like a really "happy" movement to me. The first time I did it I really got into it and kinda felt like Pinkie Pie. (I never watch non-adult cartoons... until I discovered My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic!)

And finally, we end with one that I am pleased to say I have almost nailed: the pas de bourrée. (Click on the link to see what it's supposed to look like.) It means something like drunken walk or such. I can't even begin to describe it, but it's the most complex movement I think I've done so far, and like I said, I almost have it down! (Click here to see how we are ideally doing it/the way I nearly have down.) I think I'll end this post here- I have one more exciting thing to post.

A better day...

I think my theory was pretty dead-on: I took last night off from ballet, and just did a lot of body rolling. (Funnily, I think I am just going to roll for a few minutes and then those minutes turn into an hour or more! I love my foam roller!) Today, it took me awhile but I finally got SO into the ballet I was doing, and I was enjoying it so much. I was totally into it, totally focused, loving it, and refining my technique. Especially the ronde de jambs (en terre). Usually, I'm so focused on just getting my leg around that I neglect making sure I'm staying turned out, but today, I stayed very well turned out, and it seemed a lot easier today.

Speaking of turnout, my turnout this afternoon was way better than it has been. And I am almost certain it's from the rolling I've been doing. (Posted the previous yesterday 11/15. The rest today 11/16. So I'll be speaking about that day as "yesterday" from now on.) I did the thing where you hold your feet in 6th, go back on your heels, and turnout from there, supposedly a rough way of finding your real turnout. Well, yesterday when I did it, I went a noticeable difference outwards than usual, and I wasn't forcing it. It just happened!

Yesterday, I ended up doing The Ballet Workout (Lisa Maree), what I think is now my favorite class out of all of the online classes: Year One, Lesson 5 Barre (Tamra Chace) -only 25 minutes, but I always do both sides, making for at least 40 minutes plus I did several of my favorites twice or more on each side; some hip abduction exercises, Lisa Maree's Back Stretches, Follow Along Abs Workout (LM), and the 12-minute Splits Stretch by Psyche Truth. Plus some rolling. All in all, about 4 solid hours of ballet!

Worry...

It's been really difficult the past two days to get into the ballet zone. I'm still obsessively reading about it, but my desire to actually DO it is down. Part of me is SO worried about that mindset I've mentioned, the one where I learn some about something, and decide "ok, I know enough. What's my next obsession going to be?" I've done that so much in my life, and I'm worried that's coming again.

On the other hand, I have been teaching myself for... six weeks(!!) (on Monday), and in those six weeks I've pretty much done it nearly every single day. Sometimes 20 minutes, more often over an hour, closer to two, and sometimes three hours. That's a lot. I've neglected some other things, too. If I remember right, the last time I took a day off (for this reason), my next day I really rocked, it was one of those sessions where I'm totally in the zone, interested and following every video from beginning to end, not getting at all bored, just being great and having fun. And maybe I'm overdoing it. Maybe taking tonight off will give me a break from it so I can be raring to go tomorrow, or maybe even Sunday.

I think part of my doing this almost every day has been because I am scared it's going to be like how I mentioned. So I push myself TOO much the opposite direction, making myself a little bored from overdoing something.

I have not heard back from anyone at the place I've mentioned I want to take classes locally. The only message I've received was through my daughter: classes on Tuesdays. $10/class or $36/month. I left her a FB message (but she's always super busy and hard to get in touch with). I've tried to call. I've left a message. I emailed the office girl. Nothing. (It's probably because it's not really the beginning of the season, but damn, I think I should have heard something else by now!)

I REALLY prefer to have something of an idea of what I am getting into when I do something new that involves a group. I have very bad group anxiety. Ideally, I really would like to know: 1) what the dress code is, 2) how early I should get there, 3) how I can pay someone for my classes (will someone be there before? After? Will I have to TELL someone I want to pay, or hopefully will someone bring it up to me, or at least can there be someone at the front desk when I go in so I can get that taken away and not obsessively worry about something so stupid and trivial?), 4) if the adult class works like the younger classes, where there is a progression from class to class, or if it's all basic enough for all the classes (while still being difficult enough to some so we have something to work towards?, 5) how many others usually show up, 6) am I just going to be some random person walking into the middle of the class like it'd be to start in the middle of the season in the younger classes (basically, some random person intruding on a group that's already progressed together?). I think this one is really my biggest fear- especially if I'm not going to have the chance to actually talk to someone who works there before I show up! I'm stressing over this one, having everyone stare at me wondering who the hell I am and why the hell I'm suddenly showing up in their class?

Capezio Leotard

My new leotard came in. I LOVE IT. I'm a 34D but the rest of me is small. I can't wear camisole top styled leotards. This is the first I've ventured out past short sleeve/thick tank sleeves, and it's great! It flattens me some, without smooshing, there's a V shape in the front, which I usually don't like but it doesn't go down too far at all, and I love the low cut in the back! Score! (The downside, I suspect though, is going to be a big one: I sweat A LOT, and I'm betting it's going to show A LOT. I guess I should figure it out at home before trying it in class.)

Maya Plisetskaya: Bolero

I really do not know ballerinas. My interest/obsession with ballet has come extremely fast. I believe I mentioned I never really got into ballet, preferring to go to theater or such instead. I think my tastes must be refining now, and/or I am gaining a new-found appreciation for ballet, because I am liking watching it much more (if only on YouTube for now). I have never seen this, and at first was totally unimpressed, but the longer I watched it, the more enchanted I became:

Back in the day, when I was 16 or so, I could dance. Really well. And it lasted from around the age of 16-20. I danced a lot. I wasn't allowed out much when I was younger, so I taught myself how to dance in my room when I was younger, stereo cranked up as loud as my parents allowed, watching myself in the mirror. I was young. I was active. I was in touch with my body. I could move. I wasn't as graceful and beautiful as Plisetskaya, and I certainly wasn't anything close to flexible, but had I had interest and seen this, I think I could have done my arms in a vague semblance of what she was doing. It wouldn't have been her, but my own take. It's kind of how I used to move, in touch with my body, in tune with the music.

Now, however, I am so out of touch with my body! I've always been a "thinker" rather than a "feeler", which ha always kept me in my head more than in the world around me. But at some point I got disconnected from my body. I've forgotten how to move it. I'm twisted up, cranked up tight like a coil, in some areas- muscles here taut from holding them in stress and anxiety, muscles there limp, lax, from underusing them. I don't know this body I'm in anymore, and it's kinda sad, but time to change it!!

The Clam & Pretty Gear!

I tried to do this recently, and had trouble with it. But I keep reading about it, so tonight I'm going to commit to... The Clam. It's supposed to be extremely good for those deep hip rotators, and making sure you're accessing them correctly.

AND I finally ordered this really cute leotard I've been eying on eBay for $15-16 with free shipping. (I forget who from, but they have more!) It looks like it might just be in already today!

I love the color AND the low-cut back! This will be my first one that isn't black and either the traditional tank or short sleeve. I do sweat a lot, so I'm wondering if that's going to look just awful, forcing me into only black. I also got some of these in case I start next week- I still haven't decided whether I can/should go braless or not...

And these were only $8. They're Leo's, which I don't know much about but a well-known ballet studio I saw recently requires Leo's, so they must be pretty decent. I will see! Oh, and legwarmers will be in soon, too. Only $1 plus a few dollars shipping, light blue.

Hyperlordosis/Swayback

Here is a great thread on lordosis/swayback. One user posts a link to this photo, which simply explains what's going on with a swayback:

I am convinced that the swayback is affecting the tibial torsion I'm experiencing, which is totally screwing up the turnout on my left leg. Basically, my ab muscles are weak (which allows my pelvis to drop down/back), my lower back muscles are tight (very true, one of my favorite places to have deep massage) which pulls my pelvis up in the rear.

My glutes are weak (I'm working on this one, but I definitely have something going on there- placed a tennis ball in the middle and sat with my other leg crossed over my upright knee- ow! but in a good way), and have been for awhile- any weight I've gained in the past ten years has usually gone towards that. I like to think I've had a cute butt, but it was more from the swayback than the muscle. (There wasn't hardly any muscle!)

And all of that affects my hip rotators, the other spot marked as "weak" up there. And of course that certainly affects turnout!

Here's another article suggesting that the way one sleeps can cause/increase swayback- specifically, by lying on one's stomach. And guess how I prefer to sleep? The article also points out that "From the side, we could simply say the body’s center of mass is being pushed forward. With that, it’s very common for the feet to be turned out and or the knees to be turned in. (This isn’t so much part of being a “swayback” as it is common postural / movement issues.)... A less obvious connection is at the feet. When sleeping on the stomach it’s very likely the feet are going to turn out."

All very true! I'm almost positive I prefer to sleep on my stomach, more specifically on my stomach with my left side jacked up some on a pillow being used body-pillow-style. Sleeping like that would be more likely to have my knee pointing downwards from gravity, with my ankle and foot pointed to the outside. And I'm pretty sure I also sleep on my stomach the regular way, which has me doing the above. I really liked that article- throughout it I was like "yes, that's me, yes, yes!"

I'm working on my posture today, and attempted to be careful how I slept last night. (I do remember waking up and saying to myself I'm too tired to get it right and went right back to sleep in my "comfy" position. Which is fine- I'm just now starting this.) I read another article (this one from the Gokhale Method website- I've come across this one a bit lately) saying basically to envision the ribcage like an egg (with swayback, the ribs/bottom of the egg points outward/front, and the top tilts back towards the back) put your fingers on your lower ribcage and focus on pulling the lower part towards the abs (instead of tilting the pelvis itself). That's what I'm trying. It hurts already.

I'm kinda concerned about this posture thing. For one, like I said, it hurts. Yes, it's supposed to but I really don't want to go through this pain only to not be doing it correctly and having to relearn it again. I'm considering a physical therapist or pilates or something...

Disappointment & Classes

More disappointment today. I've been playing around with some of the schedules from different ballet schools around here, trying to figure out costs and how to work around my work schedule. There are three ballet schools in my area. The first one at least offers adult ballet, though she hasn't gotten back to me on whether I can take more than that. I finally called the second one today. They don't take anyone over the age of 14! How disheartening. The only other one around here is very prestigious, and I did email them today, but I'm taking a bet that they won't let me take any classes either. I was polite and told them I would obey all etiquette, down to the leotard/tights requirement, but it's really not looking so great. But I will see.

There are some classes in the city closest to us, more adult classes than here I think. That city is an hour away, which is a lot of gas money to combine with class money. Still may be worth a shot once I get my bills back in order. Otherwise, I guess I'll pretty much be teaching myself ballet, unless the girl I know comes through for me (since it is her parent's studio)...

Edit: Well, it looks like I could take Thursdays, at least, in the other city. I would have to leave work early, but that could probably be arranged. It's pay-by-punch-card for adults, around $13 a class. (Private lessons are an option, as well, $45-55 for half an hour.)

...Oh, awesome! Another place has "Advanced Adult" ballet classes! $10/class. I'm not there yet, but SO awesome to know I CAN progress if I want to. (AND their beginner class is at a MUCH more doable time, AND is a whole hour and a half, from 7-8:30 on Mondays. (Which allows me to take adult here on Tuesdays, without having to trade one for the other!) They have marley floors, too :) (EDIT: AND it says that people can audition and train for the pre-professional levels if we are interested in teaching and/or dancing for the sake of dancing! If I'm not mistaken, this means I can pretty much go as far as I'd like at this place!! No matter how old I get! YESSS!!)

...And another studio accepts adults, who can take "other" ballet classes with permission (hinting that there is permission to be given if one was to progress!)

Pointing the feet

The bones of the foot:

I'm having trouble figuring out if there is a proper way to point the feet, in regards to something in particular: at what point do the toes need to be pointing? I've noticed some dancers point their toes starting where the metatarsals end and the phalanges begin:

Yet others seem to point their toes up away from the metatarsals more (this is more like how my point looks, though not as arched yet):

I'd never even tried to point at the metatarsals until seeing a video of someone doing so... and there is NO way that is happening. My big toes can bend at that spot ever so slightly, but my other toes don't budge until the joint between the first and middle phalange (toe). From the metatarsal to that first joint stays absolutely flat. I thought there was something wrong with the girl's foot when I saw them bending there at the metatarsals, lol, but now I'm wondering (and worrying) if that is the correct way to point the feet, or if it matters. (One of these days I'm going to get around to creating a non-Yahoo/non-Gmail email account so I can join the dance forums I've found so I can ask questions like this!)

I sent a message to the lady I know whose parents own the ballet studio, asking her a bunch of questions about the adult class (along with whether or not I can take other classes besides the one and only adult one they offer if I decide I want to progress). It's on Tuesdays from 7:30-8:30. I'm getting up the nerve to start next week!!

Edit: Considering this photo, and some other ones I've looked at:

I'm starting to believe either way is fine. (Although I sure do love the look of being able to bend at the metatarsals!)(And she does bend the other way some, but not totally like the photo above.)

UPDATE 11/10: I just found this on a dancer's forum:

If you count back from the tip of the toes, the joint you want to bend is the third one back. It is analagous to the knuckle bones of your hand. If you hold your hand straight, then bend the wrist and the fingers while keeping the knuckles flat, that is what I do with my foot. Now bend the wrist (ankle) and the knuckles (metatarsal joint) but keep the fingers straight (toes)-- That is what I should be doing with my foot.

I bend at the wrist, pull up on my arch, and try to keep my toes pretty straight. But I have a LONG way to go if I'm supposed to bend at the "knuckles" of my feet. On all but the big toe, and the slightest bit on the small toe, my joints simply don't bend at that first joint. They're basically flat, and stay in that position. I'm getting better about not bending my toes, and keeping those extended, buuuuuuttt.... Hmm.

Another update: The joint I have been trying to find the name for is the metatarsophalangeal joint, or MTPJ. This article says that joint needs 90-100 degrees of dorsiflexion (up, but not plantarflexion (down). Which is great, because I certainly have more of the former than the latter!

 

The Perfect Pointe...

My birthday is coming up soon. I've made one request from a friend/kinda-boyfriend: The Perfect Pointe book by Lisa Howell. I know I'm nowhere near pointe, but I would really like to find better exercises to work on pointing my feet in general. If nothing else, pointed feet are very beautiful to me. I'm excited by the progress I've made so far, and hope I find more exercises to continue that progress even better in her book. Since it's SO highly recommended, not to mention that even the used copies on Amazon and Ebay sell for nearly the cost of the book new, I figure it has to be pretty awesome. Tune Up Your Turnout was as great as everyone said, and this one's supposed to be even better!

I've been taking photos of my progress. I'm going on week five tomorrow! I'll post some pics soon.

Today's ballet...

I found myself cutting things a little short last night. I expect perfection from myself, and the ability to do things days after learning, and that lack of patience is just not going to cut it. As an example, yesterday evening, I was working on doing some things on demi-pointe. Really basic stuff- tendus, plies, frappes. And it's HARD to balance on demi. I was at my barre, and I was getting frustrated at my lack of ability to let go without falling sideways.

I've also been working on Finis Jhung's first beginner DVD, and (too cool! I am sitting outside on my laptop, it's fall, and there's a huge flock of sparrows, the seem to be. They all got in two of the trees, and suddenly, they all TOOK OFF in two separate groups, one one way and the other the other, meeting up on another tree. The WHOOSH of their wings was absolutely incredible. My dog, an 8-month-old pit bull pup, is in awe!) he gets to doing some pretty complicated (for a beginner) moves. While doing the moves, he asks us to see if we can lift up just a bit on our heels- while already standing on one foot, and moving the other leg around. It's very difficult, though it LOOKS quite simple, and as I said, I expect way too much from myself and got frustrated when I wasn't able to do what he was asking.

I DID manage to do pretty well on the eight lesson on the DVD, which was the first time I really felt like I was "doing ballet". That one is complicated, too, and I only got it really well once, so I plan to go back soon and work on that until I really have it down.

I always start with Ballet Barre Workout by Lisa Maree on YouTube. As of right now, today's workout, I am on a quick break from Beginner Ballet Year One Lesson 3 (Center) with Tamra Chase. I like the center work because it is still difficult but not impossible for me to do. Even some of her barre work I still do not have the strength to do. But I'm really working on my form today and some of the lesson I skipped over before I am now working on really getting down (like the epaulments and port de bra en face and en croix).

This is supposed to be fun for me, and I need to get over the fact that it can be monotonous. This has always been my problem before: I learn some to be able to say I've done it, but when it comes to perfecting, refining the technique, I get bored and move onto something else. (This is a theme in my life.) But I still REALLY want to get more flexible and graceful, I really want to eventually get on pointe (yes, I know there are no promises and maybe I shouldn't make that a goal- especially considering I've never even had an actual live class, but it is), I really want to be able to hold beautiful poses, and I'd really love to perform even something small one day. I've always lacked self-discipline in my life, and through ballet, I hope to gain that.

Pardon my name...

Earlier today, I realized "ballerina" is a title to be earned. And we know I am NOWHERE near that, and I never will be. I'm going to see about changing it soon, once I come up with something else.

FIXING tibial torsion?

Hmmm, I just came across this VERY interesting article on FIXING tibial torsion... and it only took her an hour! AND it has instructions! My first attempts at the first exercise feels... awkward... Definitely going to be exploring this more. This is really the first thing like it that I have seen.

Also:

...many dancers have tibial torsion.  This is a slight bowing out of the tibia (the shin bone), often with the kneecaps pointing slightly inward.  Frequently both they and their teachers are unaware of this anatomical structure. Tibial torsion is fairly common (in a recent screening of college dancers, it appeared in over half the students) and is usually genetic.  It does not stop you from being a dancer (and many dancers have it, as mentioned in the college screening above).  However, it IS important that the dancer (and teacher) be aware of it, as it affects foot and knee alignment patterns.  The common plié cue of “knee over 2^nd toe”, does not usually work well for a tibial torsion leg.  If the dancer does the plie with that cueing, they may supinate (roll out) their feet, and may develop unexplained knee pain.  Once they are aware of their leg structure, and align their feet / knees accordingly, the pain frequently resolves and the possibility of chance of eventual injury is decreased. (link, emphasis mine)

Hip Rotators, Stretching, Motivation

I spent about an hour last night stretching- focusing primarily on my left leg. My left leg is definitely the weakest, least flexible, and is the leg with external tibial torsion.

I came across some myofascial massage videos, and I tried to go along with one of them. It seemed to be a good video... for someone with a lot more anatomy knowledge than me. And more strength to try and press into the right spot and hold that strength there (wherever it was!). So I went to another video, and tried using a tennis ball and one of those firmer bouncy balls- the larger of the ones that you used to be able to get out of candy machines... I'm really looking for this kind, as it seems more the strength and size I need in general, but I'm not finding one in Walmart or corner pharmacies:

 

Anyway, so the ball idea wasn't working on my hip flexors. When I pressed inside my upper thigh, all I got was tendons (it felt like, anyway). I even tried rolling up my yoga mat very tight to use like a foam roller, but it would get smooshed and not roll. (I'm really going to need to make some Amazon purchases soon!)

So finally I just decided to do some of the stretching I've done before, but more intensely.
I've also been reading about how one of my anatomy issues may have to do with tight hamstrings. Last night, I worked on accessing both of those together. At first, I did the exercise where you are lying on the bed, holding the more flexible leg bent at the knee and all the way up to the chest, holding with an arm, and then the left leg (for me) falls off the bed, so that gravity is working on pulling that hip flexor more open.

After that, I did lunge work. I've been doing this thing where I do a deep lunge, but I work on the hip rotators (on the leg with the knee UP). Basically, I get into a deep lunge, and slowly turn/rotate/push/pull/etc (wherever- knee, torso, whatever it takes) until I am accessing the hip rotator. Once I have that spot engaged, I move around more, slowly, really WORKING on that stretch. For me, it HAS to be done in a sort of meditative state- if I try watching videos or something, I'm not as focused and I can lose that spot, or worse push too hard and hurt myself.

Last night, I eventually found myself in that lunge position, but with my left knee in the air, my torso rotated away to the right, and my left shoulder all the way under my left leg so I could use my shoulders to press my leg back and away from my hips.

It's not really something I can explain precisely how someone else should do it, because the tight spots on me are not necessarily going to be the same for anyone else. And besides that, what feels good one night may not feel so great the next, even on my own body. (I'd like to add that it can be really easy to overdo stretching when you're doing it this way, just feeling with your body. This is another reason I have to focus only on what I'm doing. I really have to pay attention to my body's signals.) But last night, while I was doing that deep lunge, really focusing on what was being stretched, I felt something inside "give" a little. Something inside opened up a little more, and I was then able to go even deeper. It felt really good. (I actually heard it a little when it happened.) I don't think it was a "pop" like popping knuckles, because this morning when I woke up, it still felt a lot lighter and more "open", even more so than my right hip (which is still, by far, the more flexible).I just felt something tight give way and loosen up, I think.

So that's exciting for me. I realized I can actually turn out to nearly 90 degrees on my right. It is just the left side that is so problematic, and it's very noticeable. In pliés, my right knee goes directly over the right foot, even close to 90 degrees. (Holding 90 degrees is too much for me right now, but still doable, and I know I will be able to hold that hopefully soon.) My left side can turn out some, but 1) the hip flexor isn't as flexible/strong, 2) my left knee points inwards, and 3) it ends up with my leg being fairly turned out- hips (not as well as right side) and feet (better than right side)- but not appearing that way due to my inward-facing left tibia. I'm not sure if I will ever look as though I have perfect turnout, but I do honestly believe that with a lot of stretching and strength work, I will be able to improve even the left side. (I'm thinking being able to eventually have my feet turned all the way out, with my hips a lot more so as well, but the left knee may never go totally over the foot. I'm not recommending this to anyone, and it may be harmful to me so I can only see what happens as I progress.)

I realized yesterday that I was really getting caught up in the technique and perfection thing, and that I was sapping a little of the "fun" out of what I'm doing. Not only does that kinda defeat the purpose, but if it's not fun, it's really not something I'm going to stick with. I've come SO far in only five weeks- I'm stronger than I've ever been- and I want to KEEP finding enjoyment. The DVD and video work was just getting a little tedious. So I put on a ballet on youtube, got inspired by that and just danced around my living room, pretending I was an amazing ballerina. (I even did some [horrendous-looking] turns and jumps, haha!)

And then I put on my beautiful pointe shoes, noting that even that is looking a lot better. I can see now where the shank is so much stronger than my foot is (and I don't think it's even a strong shank- Capezio Contemporas), yet I'm starting to be able to bend it into an arch, ever so slightly (thanks to the work I've been doing with my feet). I'm also able to stand straighter in them. I'm definitely not over the box, but I am closer to that than I was a couple of weeks ago when I tried them on. Holding onto something sturdy, I pushed up, bent my knees a little, and got the whole box on the floor, so I was able to see kinda what that felt like. If the foot isn't arched enough, the whole box won't be on the floor, and so it was neat to see and feel that. (Don't worry, I didn't keep them on long. I'm only doing it for inspiration.) Oh, I also noticed that my toes are getting stronger, and I was able to keep them straighter inside the box. Before, I could only scrunch them up inside. Some is strength, and some is muscle coordination- I'm still working on keeping my toe muscles isolated enough to make sure my toes are straight when I point my feet.

After my amazing solo that no one but my pets got to see, I went on to do those stretching exercises I mentioned above. I've been working on the technicalities, and had forgotten that I need to also be getting in touch with my body. Doing that last night really lifted my spirits some.

In other news, I friended the lady whose parents own the dance studio. I'm really nervous, but I know I need to get into real classes very soon. I'm getting stronger, able to focus more on technique now rather than only whether or not I have the strength to do things. My balance is getting better as well, and I feel more comfortable doing things like rond de jambes away from the barre. Now to overcome my anxiety of doing something totally new (and exercise at that!) in a group of people that I don't know. My anxiety has caused me to dread even fun things in the past, instead of wanting to go. I don't want to dread ballet class- I want to go and enjoy it. So I will be working on that this week and next. I told myself six weeks to build up strength, and I'm closing in on that. I see my psychologist today, so I will bring this up with him!

Tip of the Day

Remember that you do need to concentrate… Half of the strengthening you will achieve is by learning how to tell the nerves how to switch the right muscles on. -Lisa Howell, The Perfect Pointe

 Howell was talking about the exercises in her book, specifically, but I think that quote can be applicable to any ballet work you're learning. (Quote taken from Amazon's "Search Inside This Cover"... I REALLY want this book! Just can't shell out $50 right now, though.)

Inspiration

Maria Khoreva