I've developed this habit of coming home from work, BSing around for a bit to win down from work (usually on the computer, and part of it is because I've been doing some serious eBaying for Christmas gifts lately), and then doing ballet. The problem with this is that by the time I get through with a good ballet session, it's time to hop in the shower and get in bed... or I can sacrifice more time doing ballet to do a few things after ballet. I think I need to start coming right home and putting on my leotard. That way, if I do ballet first, I can have time after that to wind down for bed, and I'll hopefully use that time more diligently towards things I want to do instead of just aimlessly doing stuff.
Today, I was getting a bit frustrated with ballet. I am not so happy with myself in that I have missed way more than usual in the past week. I was just busy (and then I was on vacation andlazy relaxed). I'm at the point where I'm finding things a little repetitive again. I've done Tamra Chace's over and over again, except the last one where she suddenly flies through the first exercise or two and I get lost and lose interest. I've done that one video with Kathryn Morgan, though I still want to get to the other two.
I'm getting to a point where I have the basic movements down and am now able to work more on form, on technique- keeping my standing hip pulled up, actually accessing those deep turnout muscles (still very hard to keep up, but I'm more mindful of it and definitely improving), focusing on relaxing my body from being so tense. But I've more or less been doing the same videos over and over and over for more than two months now. I'm antsy to change things up, but I don't know how- or I do, but lack the motivation for some reason.
I think part of me is overwhelmed by just how much there is to learn. I mean, yes, it's exciting to learn and perfect- but I've never been a disciplined person. I've never worked on really honing in technique on something like this, not something physical, not something so new and foreign, really. It's always been hard for me to stick to things, especially through times like this, where the motivation has waned and I have to find it again- by myself and on my own.
One of the things I've been slacking on has been, well, everything BUT technique. I haven't been doing my stretching or working out like I was. In fact, I think that the next couple of times I put on my leotard, besides my warmup and a few basic moves, I'm going to do more of what I just said instead of working on technique. THAT is how I am going to change things up! The toning of my body has stagnated a bit, and I only have less than three weeks before I'm in the middle of a season of ballet classes. So that's what I am going to do, yes! Along with the stretching- three weeks is plenty of time to make more progress in my flexibility before starting class.
I just need to keep finding ways to change things up. Three more weeks, and I'll enter a whole new world of real ballet classes at a nice school where all students are taught as though they are pre-professional (!!) When that happens, I am sure I will have other things in mind to work on outside of class, and it probably won't be so difficult to motivate myself, since I'll be learning and not just trying to teach myself.
Speaking of which, I think the first few times I take class, I may sit out of center exercises and write things down. (Yes, I'm intimidated by the center after the one class I had, along with the knowledge that I've done way more barre and struggle with picking up new movements quickly.) I got this idea in my head earlier when I tell you about...
A good ending to my post about motivation and frustration! When I ran out of things I wanted to do this evening, I remembered I have that other Finis Jhung DVD, Basic Ballet Movement Skills Lesson 1. I was watching the previews to it today during work, and decided to get it out instead of using the Centerwork for Beginners. I was all bummed out and then we started working on pas de bourrée en avant. The first movement is something that should be very simple, but it took me quite a few tries to even begin to feel like I was getting it right. (Yes, this is so new to me! I finally wrote down the steps because I learn well when I write things down- and it did help, ergo what I said above about centerwork in class.) At some point, though, I felt it! I felt like I was doing ballet. I was able to get into it, feel it flow, get out of my head some (not all the way, but more) and not focus on what I am doing but just letting myself do it. Doing the steps and instead of figuring out what foot goes where and how my arms move at what point, I was able to do those and let myself loose enough to become the movements, to feel a little graceful. It was super-awesome. In times of low motivation, a little something new can be very invigorating.
(In case you're wondering- and this helps me when I tell others how to do something- the movements in the first exercise were: start in fifth; front leg tendu with a plie with arms raising to first; step on the floor with that leg reaching out past the point of tendu into relevé, standing leg immediately comes up into relevé; step forward again with front leg but the second time the back leg crosses in front to be in fifth. Lower and repeat on the new working leg.)
Oh! One other good note to end on! Actually, it was a bit of the cause of some of my frustration tonight... I'm having trouble with sur le cou-de-pied/wrapped foot. But... the reason I'm having trouble with it is because my feet are getting so much stronger and I'm able to arch them so much better... but now it's problematic because I'm having to angle my foot so much more to have the arch fit "wrapped" and getting that angle is a bit of a struggle! LOL, what a conundrum! Really, though, my feet are looking sooooo much better! (Though I realized tonight doing pas de bourrée en avant that I have a long way to go to "enough" foot/ankle/calf strength!)
Today, I was getting a bit frustrated with ballet. I am not so happy with myself in that I have missed way more than usual in the past week. I was just busy (and then I was on vacation and
I'm getting to a point where I have the basic movements down and am now able to work more on form, on technique- keeping my standing hip pulled up, actually accessing those deep turnout muscles (still very hard to keep up, but I'm more mindful of it and definitely improving), focusing on relaxing my body from being so tense. But I've more or less been doing the same videos over and over and over for more than two months now. I'm antsy to change things up, but I don't know how- or I do, but lack the motivation for some reason.
I think part of me is overwhelmed by just how much there is to learn. I mean, yes, it's exciting to learn and perfect- but I've never been a disciplined person. I've never worked on really honing in technique on something like this, not something physical, not something so new and foreign, really. It's always been hard for me to stick to things, especially through times like this, where the motivation has waned and I have to find it again- by myself and on my own.
One of the things I've been slacking on has been, well, everything BUT technique. I haven't been doing my stretching or working out like I was. In fact, I think that the next couple of times I put on my leotard, besides my warmup and a few basic moves, I'm going to do more of what I just said instead of working on technique. THAT is how I am going to change things up! The toning of my body has stagnated a bit, and I only have less than three weeks before I'm in the middle of a season of ballet classes. So that's what I am going to do, yes! Along with the stretching- three weeks is plenty of time to make more progress in my flexibility before starting class.
I just need to keep finding ways to change things up. Three more weeks, and I'll enter a whole new world of real ballet classes at a nice school where all students are taught as though they are pre-professional (!!) When that happens, I am sure I will have other things in mind to work on outside of class, and it probably won't be so difficult to motivate myself, since I'll be learning and not just trying to teach myself.
Speaking of which, I think the first few times I take class, I may sit out of center exercises and write things down. (Yes, I'm intimidated by the center after the one class I had, along with the knowledge that I've done way more barre and struggle with picking up new movements quickly.) I got this idea in my head earlier when I tell you about...
A good ending to my post about motivation and frustration! When I ran out of things I wanted to do this evening, I remembered I have that other Finis Jhung DVD, Basic Ballet Movement Skills Lesson 1. I was watching the previews to it today during work, and decided to get it out instead of using the Centerwork for Beginners. I was all bummed out and then we started working on pas de bourrée en avant. The first movement is something that should be very simple, but it took me quite a few tries to even begin to feel like I was getting it right. (Yes, this is so new to me! I finally wrote down the steps because I learn well when I write things down- and it did help, ergo what I said above about centerwork in class.) At some point, though, I felt it! I felt like I was doing ballet. I was able to get into it, feel it flow, get out of my head some (not all the way, but more) and not focus on what I am doing but just letting myself do it. Doing the steps and instead of figuring out what foot goes where and how my arms move at what point, I was able to do those and let myself loose enough to become the movements, to feel a little graceful. It was super-awesome. In times of low motivation, a little something new can be very invigorating.
(In case you're wondering- and this helps me when I tell others how to do something- the movements in the first exercise were: start in fifth; front leg tendu with a plie with arms raising to first; step on the floor with that leg reaching out past the point of tendu into relevé, standing leg immediately comes up into relevé; step forward again with front leg but the second time the back leg crosses in front to be in fifth. Lower and repeat on the new working leg.)
Oh! One other good note to end on! Actually, it was a bit of the cause of some of my frustration tonight... I'm having trouble with sur le cou-de-pied/wrapped foot. But... the reason I'm having trouble with it is because my feet are getting so much stronger and I'm able to arch them so much better... but now it's problematic because I'm having to angle my foot so much more to have the arch fit "wrapped" and getting that angle is a bit of a struggle! LOL, what a conundrum! Really, though, my feet are looking sooooo much better! (Though I realized tonight doing pas de bourrée en avant that I have a long way to go to "enough" foot/ankle/calf strength!)
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