Tuesday, January 6, 2015

First class today!

I'm so excited, and nervous, and excited and nervous! All of these what-ifs going through my head. Anxiety because I don't know yet how I will get into my ballet outfit... I think I am going to have to stop by home on the way to the doctor appointment (I do have one today) and put on my leotard and tights, with my cute VS sweats over it all. My appointment is over around 3:45, but class doesn't start until 5. But I do need to be there a bit early, to register and what-not. Should I just head to my therapist early (I usually get out earlier if I do) and THEN head home to change and get ready? If not, what do I spend that extra time on after I leave the doctor? I don't know if I will have time to run back home, and I don't want to get there TOO early, although they do let observers watch, and I could see the grade before me. I'd really like to stretch- if I get there early enough can I actually stretch inside the building, or am I supposed to be already warmed up when I get in there? I very much dislike having so many questions- I get myself all wound up and anxious! And oddly, it's always these little silly before-event intricacies and etiquette that get me worried. If anything, I should be a little worried about my actual class and whether or not I will be able to keep up, but I'm so wound up with the other things, I'm not so worried about class! I figure: my teacher did NOT seem like my doing YouTube videos was anything close to doing real ballet (she doesn't know I was studying a ton as well), and so she is assuming I know nothing about ballet. And while I do agree that I pretty much know nothing about ballet, I do at least know positions, movements, what it's like to be at the barre, and how much I don't like center :) So I think I will be a little bit ahead of what she expects, and thus I should be able to keep up with the class. Also, what about my MDM ballet shoes? Is she going to notice I have split soles and say something about how I should have full soles? Should I show her before class or just wait until she mentions it? Or show her after, if she does say something?

What I'm really, really hoping for is that this class will be quite a bit too easy. The next grade (10-year-olds, 3rd year) fits my schedule so much better, but I could still take some of these classes as well. I won't be able to take the grade before this one; it's just too early. But wow, three years of ballet sounds like soooo much. Already, as I've mentioned, these girls I'll be with have had 1.5 years of ballet.

STOP, MIND!

Dear Me,
Whatever happens is exactly how it is supposed to happen! You'll figure out the clothes situation. You'll get there on time. Even if you go in totally cold and there is no warm-up, take it easy and you'll know next time, and you'll also know if you can warm up in the building (which would be ideal). You will be fine with the nine year olds. You will be able to keep up. Even in the center. And even if you don't keep up so well in the center, just give it your best shot and spend your focus just trying to remember the general idea of the steps, especially names.

It doesn't matter if the class is too easy. Worry about this class only for right now. Other classes can and will come when you're ready. Either way, you can definitely watch the older girls, the next grade, who will be starting as we end.

Don't forget your notepad and pen for notes during/after class! And yes, your leotard plus underwire sports bra is modest enough. It's packed, as are both shoes (MDM and full-sole) and deodorant and if there's anything else you need, you'll know next time.

YOU GOT THIS!
Love,
Me

Inspiration



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