Towards a Better Tendu...

Yes, I'm back in class! I'm still struggling to get the medication I need that helps me stay awake (insurance doesn't want to approve it without another doctor's signature), but my doc did give me some samples, so I've made it to three evenings of two one-hour classes, and I'm loving it! Surprisingly wasn't super sore last week, and not much this week, but fatigue and tiredness are settling in this week, even with my meds.

I don't have much time for a longer post, but I just read something that's really giving me something to think about and to work on: a proper tendu. Specifically:

Also, when doing class, think of shaping your feet when you pointe and as you pointe, so that they are pointed in the same way as when you are in sur le cou-de-pied wrapped position, ankles fully articulated, heels forward, toes back etc.  -(source)

I've been doing it quite incorrectly! I do have some trouble getting my foot totally into sur le cou-de-pied- my ankles seem to be pretty flexible but not in THAT way! But now it makes sense some of the foot positions I've seen that look pretty, but awkward! Like the tendus but where the heel is pointed up so that the ankle is angled.

Photos for inspiration:

Vaganova student- you can also see it here, where the foot is angled a bit differently

This one doesn't show that, but still looks amazing!

Nice Beginner Class

Just came across this one. Definitely more advanced than my class, but absolutely doable for me. The instructor goes step by step through everything and the class then goes through it. Once I start back, this is going to be just the right balance between being too easy and too difficult for me.

My Ballet Life Update: Back to Class Soon!

So I've taken quite a break from ballet, which has been very discouraging for me. I've had a lot going on- most notably the continuing lack of energy I mentioned before. My doctor has me trying a new medication to help me stay awake; I'm still figuring out the best way to take the dosage I was given over the day (as a full dose once a day was too much for me, and anything else wears off quickly- but some combo of smaller doses throughout the day seems to be going well).

Unfortunately, I eventually gave up my exercising/ballet movements, simply because there wasn't enough time for me to do that with all the sleeping combined with a couple of other things I've been doing a bit obsessively in the little time I'm awake (reading YA dystopian fiction and sewing!). I believe I've also mentioned before that I have a tendency to be really motivated about an activity, only to lose motivation and interest for awhile (though my interest usually picks back up at some point- almost like I tend to cycle through my interests!). I decided to go ahead and do some other things, and maybe by the time the fall season was about to start, I'd be ready again.

I was right! I'm getting more and more into my ballet-obsession mode. I've been finding myself very discouraged about this... well, not that I'm getting into it again, but that I was doing so well and making a lot of progress (muscle tone and strength, balance, improving on my technique, flexibility), only to stop for so long, losing a lot of what I'd accomplished. (Did I mention how awesome my legs were looking, too?) But, I'm not going to let that bring me down anymore. I just came across a great positive affirmation for me at this small setback in my life:

DEAR SELF, 

THERE IS PLENTY OF TIME. 

LOVE, ME

Yes, I've lost the bit of flexibility that I'd gained from months of ballet and stretching. BUT that injury I incurred on myself awhile back has finally just about healed! (This was the first injury I've had in life that has shown me that I'm now at that age where my body simply doesn't heal as fast as it once did. Lesson learned: I'll be proceeding slower and with more caution now!) I just checked on it a week or so ago and still felt a bit of pain. Today's the first time I've been able to do even a minor stretch without it hurting, and that's awesome! I should be able to start a mild stretching routine on that leg; I'll give it a couple more weeks though to make sure.

Yes, I've lost much of the muscle tone I gained, especially in my legs. However, I still naturally have not-too-much fat on my body, and I DO still have some of the muscle tone and strength, so it shouldn't take quite as long to start seeing results again. That was the first time I've ever had my body so toned, and I love that I was actually able to do it, to get myself active enough to see results (when I've always had a tendency to some laziness and an aversion to most things considered "exercise"). I am going to get to this point again, yes, and I will also do it a bit differently this time. I really mostly focused on my lower body before. I've come to really understand how vital the core is to ballet, so the exercises I do at home will be more holistic this time around. 

So the big news in my life right now: I start ballet again next month- less than four weeks to go! I emailed my teacher to let her know I do want to start again this coming season and asked her what grade I should go to (i.e., did I graduate or not?). She told me I did indeed graduate and could come to the next grade's classes, a step up (where, hopefully, my little friends will be, too!). This time, however, I got approval to take both this new, more advanced grade AND the grade I was in. There are steps & movements I didn't get to learn from her the first time, and I found it difficult to pick up just by watching the others. I want to retake the grade so 1) I can learn from her some of what I didn't before, 2) I can keep working on my technique at a slower pace, 3) I'll build more muscle and flexibility with an extra class, and most importantly: 4) MORE BALLET. I'm so excited.

My classes start August 25. I plan to do much more blogging than these past few months once I'm back into it.

Some inspiration:

Still interested in ballet, still around!

So, I've had crazy stuff going on lately, and I've totally taken up sewing- which I am in love with, along with a bunch of other arts and crafts. Once I stopped going to ballet class, I kept up with working out (grande plies in both fifths work AMAZING for the upper legs!) for quite awhile- my legs are much more muscular than they've ever been.

Then depression started kicking in. Up until a few days ago, when I drastically lowered one of my medications, I was sleeping ALL the time. Go to work: sleep throughout the day. Go home: immediately crash and wake up the next morning to go back to work. The few days a week I was actually awake, I was working on my sewing- and still browsing Pinterest ballet pictures, wishing I had the energy to work on ballet some more.

I'm back on an upswing, it seems. Over the weekend, I added a couple of sets of plies and releves to my day. I've done a little bit more each day. Yesterday, I had something of a setback, that also has (hopefully) turned into something somewhat positive... Remember the injury I received from (idiotically) forcing my splits months ago? It was feeling a lot better, though not all the way. Last night I decided to try to stretch it some, and see how it went. I think I pushed just a bit too hard (and it wasn't all that much to begin with), so that it hurts this morning- not a good I've-stretched feeling but an "ow, this still isn't healed" feeling. It's been months! The fact that I'm getting older is starting to dawn on me more and more.

So what's positive about that? Well, I've been seeing some beautiful photos of ballerinas on pointe who DON'T have perfect splits or perfect turnout or this or that. And they're still beautiful. I wish I hadn't injured myself, but I did, and I have absolutely no choice but to let my body take as long as it needs to heal. So instead of being down on myself, I'm just going to go with the flow. The few movements I can't make with the injured leg aren't THAT big of a deal. (And frankly, it's not like I was going to get splits before the fall season!)

I can still work on splits with my other leg. And what's more, splits and that sort of stretching are pretty much the only thing I can't work on with that leg right now. On the positive side: I've been working on turnout quite a bit- sometimes even when I do absolutely nothing else. And my turnout seems to really be improving. I can FEEL the strength there deep inside my hips, and I can TELL that I'm rotating from there and not my knee. I'm getting more comfortable balancing in a larger turnout. And my injury isn't stopping me from working on that- which is probably much more important than splits anyway. (It's in a very close area, but the injury seems to be on the back side of that area, while working on my front side/rotator muscles doesn't touch it at all from what I can feel.)

So, I just wanted to check in, make a quick update. I've got lots to do the next few months. I'm still not sure what class I will get into next season. Either way is fine- I wouldn't mind being back in the same class so I can totally get down all of the things I was having trouble with because I never SAW it being taught. If I graduate and go into the next step up, that's great too- closer to pointe and I'll work extra hard to catch up on a few things, maybe take a couple of private lessons.

(Speaking of pointe- I've also totally still been working on my ankle, toe, and foot strength, and I'm seeing SUCH a difference, especially when I releve. The curve of my foot goes OVER my toes!)

Inspiration: Passe, Turnout, Back Flexibility, and More...

Inspiration: Those arches, tho...

Update: On Class Hiatus

So, I missed a Thursday class a few weeks ago- I was tired, or had plans, or something. The following week, my car nearly broke down and needed transmission work. Just breaking down a transmission itself is quite a time-consuming process... then they had to figure out what was wrong with it... order the parts... fix something else that my car had been recalled for that I'd forgotten about... fix the transmission... put it all back together. There was a big week-long event in town the first week, so car rental prices were absurd. By the second, I'd gotten used to just getting a ride to/from work and saved car rental money. But I had to miss two weeks of classes, on top of the Thursday I'd missed.

Had I gone back to class, they were just working on the demo I wouldn't get to be in, and I'd be quite behind on learning the moves. And after the demo, class is pretty much over. I've also found a new hobby I'm adoring, so I've decided to just go on hiatus until the next ballet season starts in the fall. That doesn't mean I'm not working at home; I'm just not going to class.

There's another reason as well. Remember the injury my silly self got by overdoing splits? I'm still injured. It doesn't hurt to move or anything, but the slightest stretching and I can totally feel it. I've decided I want that to heal totally before doing anything major with it. (I'm reading Dancing Through It by former NYCB principal dancer Jenifer Ringer, and one of her teachers told her, when she was injured, "The slower the recovery, the faster you recover", or something very similar. The book is fantastic, BTW. I just covered many pages while at the doctor's office today. I highly recommend it!)

And honestly, I haven't done a ton of ballet lately besides tendus, rond de jambes, other barre work- with a big exception: I've been going plie crazy! I noticed the slightest hint of extra muscle definition in my legs recently, and it has spurred me to do at least a little exercise every day. I like doing my plies in fifth, so I will usually do 15 on one leg here and then a little later do the other side, and keep doing that throughout the evening, or during the day if it's the weekend.

I also do a lot of leg lifts towards the back (ballet term not coming to me) to work on my butt, focusing on keeping my legs turned out. I do tendus and rond de jambes. I do a lot of ankle rolls and foot doming (many times throughout the day, every day) to work on my ankle strength. I do releves, including releves with either leg in passe (working on turnout!) I do this exercise every night on my problematic, non-turning-out, tibial torsioned leg. I do arabesques and other things. Occasionally, I do an online class. Non-ballet-style: all four on the floor, left leg up behind me then bring back down, also to work on my rear.

And I finally got nearly everything I need to make my rotation disks! I may have mentioned this before, but at my job, they install speakers. To install speakers in a box, they have to cut out circles. (The circles aren't perfect- it's difficult to cut a perfect circle with the tools they use... I mean it's perfectly circular but there's an extra cut in them that makes them kinda unsellable... maybe... hmmm....) They were going to throw away quite a few, so I grabbed them and came home and was able to nearly finish one. I can use it now, just the top is not attached. Getting the other screws and washers I need will be one of this weekend's projects!

One other thing: I realized last night that even though I don't really want to stretch my injured leg much at all, I can still stretch the rest of my body, even my other leg (duh!). So I am going to start stretching again, possibly yoga. (It's too bad I wasn't injured on my right leg. That one's naturally more flexible, and I could have worked on the left one catching up, but oh well!)

So that's where I'm at these days. Still loving ballet. Kinda regretting already not getting right back into class- I don't know where I will be placed when I go back (the girls should all be moving up a level), but either way is okay with me.

I might not be posting as often as I was, but I'm still "into" ballet and haven't lost my motivation as I'd feared I would. (Well, a touch, but not to where I am going to stop.) I'm still finding gorgeous photos online and will still be sharing those!

For those times I'm down on my non-ballerina body...

-via Pointe Til You Drop blog

Ballet, exercise, discipline, more inspirational photos...

I ended up not staying the whole ballet yesterday. Honestly, I was quite tired and could not keep my eyes open, so when my daughter asked me if I wanted to go, as she and her girlfriends wanted to leave, I said yes. We left during intermission, and I got to meet the owners of the ballet studio since my daughter knows them well. It was a contemporary piece, and I was hoping more for classical.

Anyway, I'm recognizing I'm once again looking at ballet as a chore. I need to find the FUN in it again. Even on my "down" swings, I try to keep up with some exercises- like if I go to the kitchen, I will do ten plies while I'm in there. Since yesterday, though, I've amped it up a notch and have been working on my grand plies in fifth, both sides. Those are my most difficult, both because they take balance and they work my legs the hardest. I'm noticing some extra muscle coming, so that's inspired me to do those, at least. I usually hold onto something when I do them, but focus on engaging my core as though I'm doing them without holding on. My legs really ache, so it's great!

Here are some new photos I've come across today. I wanted to go ahead and post them while I have the names handy:

These three are Olga Esina and Eno Peçi, The Second Detail, Vienna State Ballet.

From: Ballet 422 (Magnolia Pictures)

Rachelle Di Stasio and Aran Bell, American Ballet Theatre Studio

Inspiration

I know I can use a bit of inspiration right now, so here we go!

Olga Smirnova rehearsing Tatiana in John Cranko’s ‘Onegin’. Check out that port de bras!!

Kate Hosier, National Ballet of Canada

Maria Kochetkovah

Adji Cissoko

Note: I always try to include information about the dancer when it's listed. If I don't, then chances are, I came across it that way, or less likely, I was in a hurry and forgot to grab it.

Frustration, slacking, end of the year demo

I've definitely been slacking in the ballet department... and blogging, too! I've gotten a touch frustrated with ballet lately. First of all, our class stops and starts a LOT, and the stopping tends to take forever. The kids I'm in class with have been doing ballet for nearly two full ballet years, but they still can't remember the basic terminology they've been doing every class, twice a week for those past two years. "xxx, what is a frappe?" Then we sit while the teacher shows the girl (or occasionally the one boy) what the movement is and tries to eek out the one-word definition from her. SO much of our class is spent doing this.

I skipped a Thursday two weeks ago and went this past Tuesday. Our class has started working on it's end of the year demonstration. I was stressing over whether or not I wanted to be in the demo, as my being an adult would stand out terribly on stage- yet, it would give me something to work towards and give me an opportunity to perform (no matter how poorly, haha!). Well, when I went to class Tuesday, our teacher told me and the other adult (the third only takes class once a week right now) that adults don't usually perform in the demonstration at the end of the year. That takes the dilemma of whether or not I do want to perform off the table (and on the plus side, the girls will be showing off their splits, and as we know, I cannot do a split- and yes, I'm still recovering from my outlandish attempt to do so!) But, well, I was actually leaning towards wanting to perform. I was going to invite my boyfriend and family to watch and everything. Thinking I would have the opportunity to do so was encouraging- I was coming home working quite a bit on my trouble areas, and improving. And now, it's a bit of a bummer, a bit of a discouragement, to know that I won't be able to perform.

Don't get me wrong- I can see the reasoning behind it. It's mostly a kids studio, and these kids have to be treated as though they will be professionals one day, while we all know us adults have long past that ability. It's just a bit of a drag, a bit of a let down.

On the plus side, since everyone is working on the demo, class is moving somewhat faster now, or at least it did Tuesday. We're dancing to different music, which has totally left me (and everyone else) confused, LOL. We didn't stop nearly as much to go over terminology, and DID stop to go over a move I was having trouble with. (I'm still having trouble picking up a few things. If the moves were taught before I started, those are the ones I really struggle with because I'm basically having to learn from others who often get it wrong. When I am shown the move correctly by the teacher, I usually have it down in no time.) On the downside, we also did a lot of practice sitting- sitting there very still so the kids could practice what they would have to do on stage (since they will perform, then sit on stage while others perform). I skipped Thursday's class as well.

I also realized there's no way I could do a summer intensive because, duh! I have a job.

I was going to cancel my Danceflix subscription, but now I think I'm going to keep it and start working more on the Finis Jhung series. I'm even considering dropping out of ballet until the next fall/new season begins. I think I will pick up a few more things first, then do that. And just work as I was doing initially- teaching myself at home. I now have a bunch of corrections to work on and when I checked out one of Finis's DVD sections the other day, which I haven't even looked at in months, it looks totally doable now that I have real class experience under my belt.

Edit: I forgot to add: I'm going to see a ballet this evening! It's being done by the school I took my first class from (the one where everyone was too busy chatting to ballet... though I may have to give that one another shot soon- hopefully the real instructor is off maternity leave by now). It is supposed to be their top-notch students, so hopefully *crosses fingers and points toes* this will give me the inspiration I need to get back to dancing!

Sur le coup-de-pied & Isabelle Ciaravola's Perfect Feet

I need to watch this next time I'm working on ballet and practice it over and over and over again: sur le coup-de-pied rising up, showing how the foot will rise to retiré. Perfect!

Isabelle Ciaravola

And more photos of Isabelle and her amazingly perfect feet:

This is one thing I haven't really been able to figure out. It looks beautiful when ballerinas go so far over their boxes that they are on the very tip, and it certainly shows unique ability, but are those the only reason they do this? It doesn't really seem like there's any practical reason to it... ?

Her foot is practically at a right angle! WTH??!! Just stunning!

I mean, c'mon now! It should be illegal to have feet that perfect!!

Surviving Parent's Night, Today's Success at Discipline

Parent's Night
Just a quick note: my ballet practice today went wonderfully. Actually, let me back up: parent's night was lovely as well. My mom did attend, which was fun, and there weren't really but a couple of other parents there (including one with a super nice camera... please don't post my splits online or anywhere!) I messed up on quite a few things, but that was okay. We also have another adult, which makes for three of us now!

We go over terminology over and over and over again in class. For some reason, these kids just can't pick up the one-word definitions of "frappe", "petite", "degage", etc. I still have a few I mix up (frappe is one, actually), but for the most part, I know all of the definitions. So much of class, we all just stand there while the instructor calls out on of the kids who she knows struggles with the definitions, and we wait while the little girl (or boy) stands there doe-eyed as she pries the definition out. This happens with nearly every single movement we do. Tendus: "what does tendu mean?... Anyone... ***....? .................." Petite battements: "what does tendu mean?... Anyone... ***....? .................." On and on and on. It really eats up class time, and is a bit frustrating at times. I want to make these kids flashcards or something. I would, if I thought they might use it.

Anyway, on parent's night this time (this didn't happen previously), we barely went over any terms! Maybe two or three total! And it was wonderful! I worked so hard because instead of stopping so much for so long, we just went from movement to movement to movement. I was far more sore the day after than I usually am! I can't wait for all our classes to be like that!

I had my mom record a few of the movements I still have problems with, like the body positions. I haven't checked those out yet, but I nearly have them down. We are supposed to do a demonstration at the end of the ballet year. Positions are one of my lesser concerns, because it's very easy to sneak peaks at what the other students do, without being too out of sync. Unlike with, say, pas de bourree, where if you mess up and go the wrong way, it's super obvious.

Today's Practice (at home)
So today, I wasn't at all sure what I was going to do, or if I was even going to do any practice. I was doing some plies at my barre and decided what the heck, I'd get dressed and work some. Practice went so well. I just made up my own routine, and listened to some of the classical music I have. I did quite a few plies and tendus- I went through those two or three times on both sides. Especially with the tendus: they are easy enough to do... but I wanted to work on actually leading with my heel and keeping my foot on the floor as long as possible before bringing it up so my toe was on the ground.

Rond de jambes: I worked on really getting that turnout. The movement seems so easy, but it's difficult for me to remember to turn out as soon as I possibly can and as much as I possibly can.

Frappes: Worked on these as well. With my frappe, I think I flex my foot too much when it's at my ankle. My instructor recently told me to strike the foot farther out, so I worked on that and smoothly brushing it on the floor before coming up. This one's a little hard to do on carpet!

Chasses: I've almost had down our chasses in class- we do them a certain way, in a certain order. But I've also been struggling with these. I've understood the direction we had to move, but it wasn't making sense to me what foot crossed in front when. And then our instructor said something last class that gave me an "aha!" moment: the first half, the left foot is chasing the right and the second half, the right chases the left. With just that short description, I now have the movement down pretty well.

[Description: Start in 5th, right foot in front, arms down in preparatory. Plie. Glide forward (in plie), leading with the right foot, bringing arms up to first (fingers at naval... I just looked this up and realized my arms have been too high!). Quickly bring left foot back to fifth (in the back). With right foot, glide into second plie, arms out. Close to fifth (prep arms), this time with right leg in back. Now reverse that, using the left foot to lead and going to the left instead of right. (See, I kept trying to put the wrong foot in back when gliding into second.)

There are two ways we do this, both actually have an extra step that what I said above: à terre and en l'air. In à terre, before closing the non-leading foot to fifth, we tendu the non-working leg. So if I'm going forward with right foot, I'll glide forward, tendu back with my left leg, and quickly close. Glide right, tendu with left leg, close left foot in front. Glide back with right foot, tendu left foot to the front, snap it back to fifth in front. En l'air is the same, except we dégagé instead of tendu.]

Adagio: Finally (after doing my chasses over and over and over again), I went on to our adagio. We do this one both at the barre and in center. It's a passe through retire then the working leg extends up (grande battement?) and then releve (rise up on our standing leg). It's done front, side, back, side. At the barre, instead of passe, we petite battement, sous-sus (feet jump up- releve- in a tight fifth position), spot, and turn. I practiced that one last week. I was having a lot of trouble getting down what happened after the back, and now I have that one nailed- and my spotting has improved as well! (When in center, instead of spotting and turning around, we [try to] stay in releve, do a few short port de bras, then close in the opposite fifth and do it all on the other leg. )

Our adagio has been really difficult for me! I mentioned we do it à terre AND en l'air (in the air)... and I've barely even been able to do just à terre! So today, I did it over and over again- almost totally in the air. I've still got a long way to go, but I'm more or less able to do the movements without having to put my foot down so much for balance.

In summary (I think I am a bit over-explanatory sometimes... I used to write A LOT but now this blog is pretty much the only writing I do nowadays. I hope to improve as I continue on), I'm super proud of myself because today, I showed a lot of discipline! Not just that, but I was totally in the zone doing it. Sometimes I can try things but have my mind elsewhere, wanting to be doing other things. Sometimes the music that came on wasn't fitting for whatever I was doing, so I either turned it off for a while or I just ignored it (instead of allowing myself to become distracted by trying to find the perfect music or something). Today, I was disciplined! Here's to more of that in the future, and more often!

Now to nail my pas de bourres! I was only just starting to get the hang of the two we've been doing, and now there are two more! Slowly, I can do them. But when we are in center, we do all four in a row, and my feet start getting tangled up! I can do this, though. My boyfriend is convincing me I should, indeed, do the demonstration/performance at the end of the ballet year in May... and I think I just might. I think it's just the encouragement I need to really work hard to improve!

Random Notes

Here is a lengthy floor barre routine I found online. It looks pretty intense.

I just read that in arabesques, the shoulders are actually supposed to be squared (as opposed to moving the arms?):

She's not holding her left arm behind her; her shoulders are rotated and squared!

Also, for some reason my left hip area up through my torso is very tight. When I cross my right leg over my left, it feels fine but when it's my left leg over my right, it sends an ache from my hips up. I also feel this when working on splits.